Funeral Etiquette

stella6979 wrote: So my Grandpa passed away last night and Dh and I can't decide if we should take Avery to the funeral? I wasn't sure if there was some kind of "rule" about bringing babies to funerals. What do you all think?

Our Lil' Family replied: I'm not sure of the "rule" but for my Aunt's funeral in January I brought Thomas to the funeral home for the wake but had my mom pick him up after about an hour. I knew my family wanted to see him but it is definitely not a kid friendly place.

ETA: I forgot the most important part....I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.

sparkys2boys replied: Oh first of all Im so sorry for your loss. I agree, maybe to the wake, but not for long and prolly not to the funeral itsself.

stella6979 replied: Thanks a bunch. We kind of all expected it, but it still sucks that he's gone.

luvbug00 replied: I'm sorry for your loss. I think all family no matter the age should attend a funeral of a loved one.

lisar replied: Sorry about your loss. I guess it really depends on the family. I didnt take Raygen to my grand-fathers funeral.

gr33n3y3z replied: sorry for your loss hun
It depends on how you feel about bring children

msoulz replied: Shelly, I am so sorry.

I think babies are a nice distraction for lots of folks. I took Erin to the funeral home a few months back when my 18 year old cousin died in a car accident. Needless to say it was a difficult day but she really brought some smiles to some faces. We only stayed for an hour or so though and did not attend the funeral.

IMHO, whatever works for you is best as you are suffering this loss. If Avery will make it easier on you then so be it, and vice versa.

MyBabeMaddie replied:
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather,
I would take her for a little while... It might be an overwhelming place for her but she should go.

stella6979 replied:
Ya, someone here at work had mentioned that babies are a good distraction, but I just don't want her to get fussy. I still have a couple days to decide, so we'll see. Thanks everyone, I appreicate all the kind words.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: We brought ours when my grandfather died. We only had the two oldest, as I was pregnant with Naomie... but my kids aren't generally fussy kids.

There's nothing more awful than seeing fussy kids in a non-kid-friendly place. You know your child best...and if she's the fussy type of child, don't bring her to church, and don't bring her to the wake. But if she'd be ok for a little while... bring her, it will make people smile.

And what I mean by the above is this scenario - at my son's baptism, my dh's niece nad nephew were about 2 and 4, and were running around ALL OVER THE CHURCH. There is NOT ONE picture I have that isn't ruined by them running in the background. They distracted everyone in the church, played way too loudly, and even ran into the priest. Not that I'm saying Avery would do this... but I was mortified, and dh's brother and his gf (the parents) thought nothing of it. But then again, they come from small town in Quebec.

Calimama replied: I'm sorry about your grandpa.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I'm sorry about your grandfather. I agree with the others, you know your child and their behavior best - I would never take Madison to a funeral at this age because she is loud and can't sit still, but I know Brooke would behave well.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Sorry for your loss. About what to do, I think whatever you feel comfortable with. Some people wouldn't, some people would. I think it's about what each parent wants and feels comfortable with for their children.

redchief replied: Babies often make a poignant reminder to those left behind that death and life are indeed intertwined. Babies don't understand death, so keeping them at a funeral for a long period of time will be of no benefit to her. I think it would be OK to bring her to the funeral, but have someone ready to take her when you no longer feel she should be there. You'll know.