Forgiveness Abounds - Could you do this??

mom2my2cuties wrote: A family member (I have heard reports that it was one of the dads but that changed later) of one of the murdered Amish children went to the family of the shooter on behalf of the families in order to comfort his family and to let them know that the families forgive the man for killing and injuring thier children.


I know they are raised very differently than we are. And to them - death is a celebration because of thier beliefs. However, I don't think I could go to the family of the of the man who murdered my child and do that.

And while I understand the mans family is going through unspeakable pain right now as well, a wife lost her husband and his children lost thier father. And they will from now on be known as the "wife/children/family of the man who murdered those Amish Girls" and will be ostrasized in thier communities because of it - even though they had nothing to do with it.

I just thought this was a remarkable story of Forgiveness and Amazing Love - and just had to share it with you guys

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Also a perfect example of the turn the other cheek mentality of the Amish

mckayleesmom replied: I couldn't forgive the person guilty of the crime. But the way I look at it...they have all been hurt by this one man. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to comfort his widow....she didn't do anything wrong. Alot of people would turn their pain and anger into hate for his widow and family and I commend them for making sure that the family and public know that they don't blame them.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I wish I could say that I would be able to forgive so truly...I do feel very sorry for his wife and children-I can't imagine the shock and pain they must feel right now too. I think reaching out to his family and letting them know I harbored no ill-will towards them is something that I could honestly do but to forgive the person who harmed or in this case murdered my child...TBH I do not believe that is something I could or would ever forgive....

Crystalina replied: Trish, I'm not trying to pick your words apart and I think I know what you meant but to anyone that doesn't...the Amish don't really think death is a celebration but because of their beliefs they are ok with it. kwim? I don't want you or anyone else to think I'm saying you meant "a celebration" (I know you did not mean that at all) but just in advance before someone else jumps on the wagon and rides it all the way to hell town.

We deal with the Amish on a weekly basis and they are very loving and kind people. Most of them are anyway. Some of them are just like every other "white man" (as they call us) and I would never let my kids associate with them ( the bad ones) but just like "the white man" we need to pick and choose who is good and who is not.

This Amish father comforting the killers family is classic Amish and I would hope any father would be man enough to do the same be it Amish or not. The gunmans family is just as much a victim as the poor girls he murdered that morning. I think my DH would do the same. I doubt it would be as quickly as the Amish father did it but I'm sure he would do it. I could see if this man had a (known) history of being a wack-job but everyone (even the Amish) said he was very nice and normal.

mom2my2cuties replied:
Yeah that was a misprint on my part - I used the wrong words there. More what I am saying is part of thier belief is that they do rejoice for those who have passed on into the hereafter and feel that those who have gone before us are more privlaged than the surviors.


ETA - I agree that everyone was a victim of this guys rampage - I just meant that while I would feel for the family and things - I think it would be hard for me to comfort the family of the man who tore apart mine. And I truly think this shows what we as humans were MEANT to do to each other. I truly wish we were all a little more like the Amish in the terms of the love, compassion, family values and true forgiveness they show towards the world.

C&K*s Mommie replied: In all honesty, I would hope that I could not harbor so much anger and anguish in my heart as to always feel turned away from the family; However, if I ever were in that position, it would likely take some time before I did approach the other family before I would be able to speak to them. If I did approach the family, I would want to speak to them from my heart, not just my clouded head which would still be reeling from the tragic loss of a loved one. I would probably be speechless for awhile. Forgiving, is very difficult, so is forgetting. But the release that comes from it, supercedes any hesitation prior to the forgiving. JMO.

That is highly honorable of that man to do that. I commend him for being so strong in his faith to forgive and to reach out to thier family so soon.

TheOaf66 replied: I know spiritually we are taught forgiveness and such but I do believe I would have to ask God for a freebee because there is no way I could forgive this person.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Perhaps by the man doing this, the family will learn something from him.

redchief replied: My faith tells me that I must forgive any and all wrongs too. I know I would need a whole lot of time to get to that point though. In this, the Amish are better than I.

kimberley replied: well, whatever it takes to get someone thru a tragedy like this, works for me. i have seen a lot of stories where tyhe victim's family befriends the attacker. weird, but it happens.

gr33n3y3z replied: No I could not and would not
Edited to add this
If a family member came to my door and said they were sorry and what not I couldnt shut the door on their face ever I'm so not like that bc it would have taken so much guts to even show up here.

Crystalina replied:
I think your right. I'm not saying that his kids would ever grow up to do something like this but maybe if they even think about doing something bad (no matter how minor) they will remember the kind hearted Amish man who came to their house. Maybe they will think twice before doing anything bad and also learn to forgive. I always live by Everything happens for a reason. Maybe by the Amish coming to them then those children will grow up and forgive their father as well. They will need that to grow up and be good parents (father). I'm not sure what sexes his children were.

hawkshoe replied: Personally, I don't know if I could or would do this. However, I can see where it would be very therapeudic for one to do it. Harboring resentment for them would only cause more anguish. Forgiveness is necessary in order to move on.

holley79 replied: I think this is what has always fasinated me with the Amish. They are such a forgiving community. I don't know if I could be that forgiving. Maybe someone else that is a family friend could go comfort her and her family but I don't think I directly could.

My2Beauties replied: I honestly feel sorry for the attacker's family, I think it was a very noble thing that man did forgiving them - already! Like everyone else said, I wouldn't necessarily harbor resentment towards the attacker's family, they had nothing to do with his actions, but it would take me a long time to get to the point of talking with them. In my eyes, I could never mourn him and they are so I wouldn't want to surround myself with people mourning the person who killed my child.

But...I could never ever ever in a million years forgive them person who took my child away from me. I can forgive and even forget so many things on so many levels but that is where I would draw the line. I know it's probably not right, but I would always have hatred in my heart towards that person!

CantWait replied: I think it should go without saying that the attackers family should be forgiven, they didn't do nothing in the first place besides possibly turning a blind eye to any signs that he may have been showing. Instead of going to her house and telling her that they forgive her husband's actions etc.... then maybe all he should have said, was "I'm sorry for your loss".

I think what happened was tragic, but the Amish weren't the only ones that lost a loved one that day.

Boo&BugsMom replied:

A&A'smommy replied: it is a beautiful thing...

Nina J replied: It was a remarkable thing to do. I feel sorry for the family, they didn't ask for any of this to happen.

I think if I were in the position of the Amish families, I would have a hard time forgiving the killer..but for me, forgiveness doesn't mean accepting what has happened, if you KWIM.

kristy-n-chad replied: "If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him." Luke 17:3

"Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven" Luke 6:37

" Even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" Colossians 3:13

I would hurt, but, yes, I would forgive. I have my faith and my Savior to comfort me. I cannot expect Jesus to forgive me of my sins if I do not forgive others.