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For those that share custody of the kids with ex


mummy2girls wrote: Aron called me today and asked if he could take jenna on saturday ... I said yes... now im sitting here and my stomach is in knots, Im on the verdge of crying and i can not get saturday out of my head. I am goign to miss Jenna so much! This is hard on me because jenna has been with me day and night for almost 4 years and where she goes i go. Its going to be so hard to let her go to Aron's. Dont get me wrong i trust aron with jenna and I know he would not do anything...and im glad he is finally taking the inituative to actually eb a dad now. BUT its so hard. How do you moms do it that have to share custody of the kids? What has helped you get through the first few times of this happening. I know i was always b*&%^&*(g that he never takes her but now that he is I feel sad. Maby is hould make an app to get my hair done at the salon so i can have me time...

mom2my2cuties replied: I just hold my breath and remind myself they need a break from me sometimes and that it's benificial for them to be around thier other parent.

I would set up something for you to do, to help pass the time - Get your hair done - nails done - have a girls day out with a friend....smile.gif

mckayleesmom replied: Your gonna do great.....Just make a schedule to keep yourself occupied...Do a craft for her room or the daycare....She will be fine.

mummy2girls replied:
me have no friends:(

mom2my2cuties replied: What about your Sister In Law???

mummy2girls replied:
maby:)

luvmykids replied: DEFINITELY do something for yourself, I haven't had to deal with that but from others I know they actually come to enjoy the break once the initial separation shock wears off. hug.gif

mckayleesmom replied: You can always give yourself a mani, pedi...pluck your eyebrows....shave something.......Just catch up on you.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well at first.. It was so hard.. It was the hardest thing I ever done girl. I can remember Justin was almost 2..and had to go to his dads for the weekend.. I lied in the bed in fetal position with my stomaching aching b/c I wanted my baby so much .. I cried and cried. But then I realized that I shouldn't deny my child time. I used to the time to do things that were difficult with two little kids.. like grocery shop.. clean house.. I painted my nails.. Spent time with my granny..cause she was gettin old and needed me. Then I learned little by little to venture out.. do fun stuff.. go dancing.. go on dates.. go to rodeo's... thats how I met Randy. It takes a little time..but you get used to it. You have to do whats best for them.. and take it easier on yourself.. it will get easier.

mummy2girls replied:
Oh i hope it gets easier sleep.gif I know jenna needs this time with her daddy because its taken so long for him to want to do this and i have always pushed him to do it. But i guess in my mind i knew he wouldnt so thats why i kept bugging him. Jenna is at a age right now where she is really close to her daddy and wants to be with him. she said something to me last night that broke my heart... i told her that she was spendning the day with her daddy and she said.. mommy I go sleep at daddys and i see you tomorrow morning:( sniffff.... I know he wont take her overnight because he is one of these guys that has to sleep in till at least 1pm. and she gets up at 730 or so. But that may change. I guess i will set up her room with her toys and go through her summer clothes and winter ones and sort them. Its a process i need to get used to. a situation i need to get used to... sending jenna to her dads without me there, and jenna needs to get used to sharing her home and toys with the dayhome kids...LOL...

mummy2girls replied: ok its not goign to be that bad... jennas dad is just taking her from 3 till 8.. just 5 hours.. phew. I think I can deal with that. i hope it gets easier because if i start dateing ill need him to take her more...

i want him to do this because i have for so long!!!! but you know , now that he is( 4 years later) its hard!

mom2my2cuties replied: Well - it's always hard to let your little ones go with who them is really not much more than a stranger (I gathered from your posts they haven't spent much time together). But at least it's not going to be that bad - and I think it's perfect for a "Trial" thing.

And think of it this way - He is probably just as scared as you if not more - smile.gif

Boys r us replied: Tanner was with me for 6 years...me and me alone! His dad was only interested in seeing him maybe twice a year for an hour or so when his mom would come to town to visit Tanner.

Sooo...you ask what made me be able to do it and get through letting him go with his dad once he grew up and realized his son NEEDED him? Just that...his son needed him! Just like no matter how much you dislike Aron at any given moment...she's a little girl and little girls need their daddy just as much as they do their moms. Also..the fqqact of the matter is that..as long as I was willing to cooperate and be reasonable, we stayed out of court where there would be fairness to both sides...even though I had been the one to take care of Tanner all those years with no child support and him not having the first bit of interest in a relationship with Tanner.....meaning if I put it in a Judge's hands we'd be rotating christmas each year and he'd get him OVERNIGHT for the WHOLE weekend etc etc etc...See where I'm going with this? As long as we kept it out of court, he was playing by *MY rules* which made it easier for me to be cordial about helping the two of them develop a relationship with each other, which in my head I knew was important for my son. It was hard..but you just have to keep in mind that in order for Jenna to hae a healthy relationship with Aron, they need time alone and you need to encourage that! You have no part to play in their relationship aside from making sure that they have time together as father and daughter.


mummy2girls replied:
sleep.gif dont get me wrong.. i know this thats why i have been wanting him to do this... and i know she needs alone time with Aron... I just am finding it hard to part with her because she has been with me from the beginning. But i know they need time and i know jenna needs to be with daddy. Thats why i am a firm believer that parents should never take a child away from one another just because they are fighting... again im just finding it hard to let her go:(


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