For those of you with boys..got a question

coasterqueen wrote: For those of you with boys does your DH's play rough with them? If you have girls too, do they play more rough with the boys than they do with the girls?

I'm just curious because I think Ryan plays too rough with Kylie sometimes. I try not to be such a stiff about it and let them have fun but yesterday I think he crossed that line and I didn't get angry at him, but was shocked by what he did with her.

Don't ask me what was going through his mind, but....yesterday Kylie was sitting on top of the coffee table. Dh threw a small blanket at her because she was whining. She thought it was funny and said "do it again". So he did. Well of course she kept asking him to do and and she kept laughing when he did it. The last time he did it he told her to scoot farther back on the coffee table (right near the edge). There was a pillow on the floor so if she fell it would break her fall, although she wasn't far from the floor. She scooted back but kinda looked at him like "what are you up to daddy". I didn't say anything but I was wondering the same thing. He threw the blanket at her like she asked and what happened...you guessed it she did a backwards sommersault right onto the pillow on the floor. I guess he thought it was funny and I will admit I kinda smirked for a split second but it scared Kylie and she started crying. He picked her up to console her and she of course milked it for all it was worth and I was holding her.

I told her to tell her daddy he had to apologize. It was kind of funny her making him apologize and he did and she was all fine. But I think he was being a bit too STUPID doing that to her and taking "rough play" a bit too far.

I know Kylie's not a boy, but I was just curious how father's play with their boys. Maybe Ryan just doesn't understand not to be that way with girls or maybe he needs to understand that he shouldn't play with kids at all like that. Ya know.

jcc64 replied: I don't know how much to admit to, but my dh is the king of over-the-top, horrifying jaw dropping physical horseplay with ALL of my kids. Corey is a very petite, tiny little girl, and she absolutely is not spared from the antics, but she, like the boys, can't ever seem to get enough. Never do they laugh as hard as they do when this sort of stuff is going on. He seems determined to raise another generation of thrill seeking X Games lunatics.
Some times I just have to close my eyes and pray that it wil be over soon.

MomToMany replied: DH plays with the kids all the same (except Kayla of course, since she's still a baby). Hannah is a "risk-taker" by nature, so she's naturally rough. I don't see why girls can't rough house too. It's a bonding experience with Daddy, as long as no one gets hurt. Then its going too far, no matter who's playing with who.

Boys r us replied: Hmmm...Well Rick plays pretty rough with Braedon...but only b/c he begs for him too!

For instance, When Rick is sitting on the couch with his feet on the ottoman, Brae will bring him a blanket and cover up Rick's legs and feet and then Brae climbs up on the ottoman and says.."JUMP IN THE HOLE" and he jumps on the blanket in between rick's legs and rick holds onto the top of the blanket keeping it "tight so that when brae jumps into it, he doesn't hit the floor. Anyhow, once brae 'jumps in the hole' rick will pop the blanket up and it makes braedon do a backwards flip out of the hole and onto the floor..kind of like the parachute things we used to play with in elementary school. It makes me wince everytime I see it..but if it makes him laugh ..whatever..and it's not like the ottoman is more than a foot off of the floor..so he really isn't getting hurt.


I wouldn't intervene unless it was something he were doing that the kids didn't like. Which in your case, it sounds like Kylie wasn't overly fond of the falling off of the coffee table..lol..but perhaps Ryan has learned his lesson! men can be boneheads sometimes..they aren't as nurturing as us moms and sometimes I think that leads to lack of preventative thinking when it comes to kids getting hurt.

mammag replied: Chris plays rough with the boys more than Kristen but occasionally she'll get in on it. It usually starts with Chris & Cade practicing Jiu-Jitsu and then Conner starts jumping all over him and they get, imo, too rough. I let it go on for a while but if it gets too rough I'll put an end to it. I sometimes have to get after him like he's one of the kids because he doesn't stop. What makes me crazy is that sometimes he'll start it when they come to give hugs before going to bed and gets them all wound up.

ediep replied: my DH plays rough with Jason a little bit too. Jason knows not to ask me to play those games, but as soon as Scott walks in the dorr from work, Jason is asking him to play.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Oh man! My boys are ruff b/c DH has made them that way!

He has them do dangerous stuff......Ride your bike down that hill as fast as you can then jump that big rock kinda stuff..

He put them in a wagon and sent off this big hill, I don;t mean a small incline, i mean like the side of a holler...It was so steep it knocked the wheels off the wagon..

I have screamed and yelled..

My DH played ruff with the girls too. But I will say that girls get smarter faster..it's just he way it is.. They learn to say you do it first daddy if it wont hurt..

DH's are just playing...but man it scares me.

I came home one day though....and they had tied him to a chair with a handercheif around his mouth..like in the movies. I know he just let them do that right before I walked thru the door, but it was there revenge..and really funny!

ammommy replied: I think that these games look dangerous because we are looking in as a parent (most of us as moms) and we know what could happen. Thinking back to the crazy stuff I did as a kid, I don't know how my mother made it through my childhood
I probably play rougher with the kids than DH, but I'm more physical than him to begin with. I do close my eyes and cringe at least once a day, seeing DS play with his little sister, though.

gr33n3y3z replied: Hubby played ruff with the boys and the girls all the same.
I used to almost have a heart attack but the girls loved it.
My girls can sure defend themselves if they have too now so it was a good thing.

paradisemommy replied: dh is a rough-houser with taven and i'm sure will be with the next one - i don't cringe but anyone else around seems to...with accompanying screams also..lol..i know that there is nothing that he would let happen to taven..

coasterqueen replied: Thanks everyone. I will continue to let them play the way the do and just freak out in my mind. Although he did go a tad bit too far the other day and she made him acknowledge that.

loveydad replied: Well no, my dh doesn't since I dont have one, but I think it's kind of a guy thing. I would expect Tracy to be a little less willing to play, but she plays more strongly then Kel! Kel's doesn't like rough play at all, he doesn't like to be tickled anymore (neither of them do, I think it's pretty normal for them to be disliking it now) and he doesn't like to wrestle that much - not with me, with his brother. But Tracy and Vincent run over to me when I'm on the couch chair or floor - or computer chair, jump on me, and play like crazy! But I've never brought my kids to tears from being too rough. Once or twice in their lives they've fallen over backwards or something and hit their heads, but other than that, no.

DansMom replied: DH tickles aggressively, which I always hated as a child so it bothers me when he does it to Daniel, even though Daniel chortles like mad and can't get enough. He also teases---this is more of a verbal thing---to a point that pushes Daniel over the edge sometimes: for example, mocking Daniel when he's whining or having a tantrum, or distracting Daniel from a tantrum by horseplay. It's just not my parenting style, and it's very male!

coasterqueen replied:
OMG Tracy. Ryan does the same thing. He always pushes Kylie (playfully teasing her) too far sometimes and then she gets upset. He reminds me of my dad doing that to me. It must be a male thing.

texasp3 replied: DH and Michael (15) BOTH play rough with Gabriel - to the point where I just cringe sometimes. The funny thing is... DH gets really huffy with Michael when Michael's just doing the same thing DH does. Alpha male competition stuff, if you ask me. I live with a LOT of that... testosterone pissing competitions. And for you guys out there... please don't think I'm saying that's a BAD thing. Personally, I think it's an ESSENTIAL thing.

There's been some FASCINATING studies done on rough play among the males of our species and the social training purposes it serves. I read a really neat article about it some time ago.. I'll see what I can dig up and share it if I find anything.

Josie83 replied: I think Jason are both quite rough with her, but Jason especially. I always get worried that she'll be hurt but she's a tough little thing who loves being thrown about and played with. I throw her up in the air and catch her a lot and tickle her all the time. Jason wrestles with her a lot, throws her about and plays rough A LOT. But CAssie absolutely loves it! And she's not really one for crying when she falls over or hurts herself, so the way I see it is its doing her good. She loves it, and Jason would never do anything dangerous with her xx