Feeling blah

Danalana wrote: I just needed to share this with somebody...so bear with me.
Of course I am happy about the new baby. I feel so blessed to be pregnant after all it has taken to get here (again). It has nothing to do with that.
For one thing, I feel lonely. There aren't any MOPS groups or anything like that close to me. I rarely see adults, except on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. There is a couple friend of ours that comes over for supper once or twice a week, but the woman and I are polar opposites, so I don't feel a connection with her. Se is pregnant, too...4 weeks ahead of me, and this is their first. We talk about baby stuff and pregnancy stuff, but I don't feel like I could really connect with her on a deeper level.
Richard isn't much of a communicator. He is quiet by nature. He doesn't like talking about deeper things, either--of any nature. Also, he has been working with a business team online and that eats up all his free time. "Free time" meaning when the boys go to bed. SOOOO...nobody to talk to then, either.
And then there's that overwhelming feeling that comes with all pregnancies. You know, "How the heck am I going to take care of all these little people all day long?" I know that part will work out--it always does. But I know it will be hard in the beginning, just because they are all so young.
I'm depressed. I love my babies more than anything, but I still need people to talk to. I am very much social. Richard, not so much. Not that he's NOT social. He just doesn't NEED to talk to people or to have social interactions. I feel like I do need that.
I know I'm just rambling, but I feel like poo. And I know my hormones are raging, which doesn't help at all. Anyway, I just wanted to get it out. Thanks.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm sorry, Dana. I know how you're feeling. I went through a really lonely time when Allie was a baby and Andrew a toddler. My husband was gone all day at work, we lived in a town where I didn't know anyone and we were on a strict gas budget so I couldn't drive to see my friends. Even living with my parents I've been lonely because my mom and I don't always get along, and my only friend out here is my sister who only lives 4 miles away but is always pretty busy. So I understand what you're going through! It's really too bad that Richard has to spend so much time at home working, too. That really does make things rough when you can't have that time together to talk and just be together. I'll be praying for a friend for you, and that you and your Dh will be able to get more time together.

HuskerMom replied: I'm sorry. I was pretty lonely when we moved up here last year. I went from growing up in town and having friends and family near, but then we moved 40 miles away to the middle of nowhere. And I knew no one in the closest town. It got especially hard after I got laid off from a job that I loved. So I got a job in that town and started going to a new church a few miles from here and am slowly meeting new people. I have a hard time meeting new people. I hope that you and your Dh can talk and spend more time with each other and you meet more people you have things in common with.

MoonMama replied:

I can totally relate, esp right now. 99% of the time its just Brae and I. My friends all want to go out clubbing and partying so I've stopped bothering for the most part (seriously when do these people grow out of this?). My best friend is a lot like me and we do get together as often as we can but she's got 6 little ones on her own because her husband travels for work and a full tiem job so its hard. Ty is in Denver during the week and a lot of weekends as well (vet school). So I'm usually alone with just Brae, and being on bed rest puts me home most of the time. Hang in there, I know I'm far away but I'm just a phone call away!!

Calimama replied: I'm so sorry. I felt like that for a few weeks after we moved. It's hard starting over so many times. What about church, is there anyone you're close enough to, to maybe invite to see a movie or have a play date? 90% of the time I spend with my friends, usually involves a kid or two since most of them have at least 2+. It's still fun and adult interaction. Or maybe take a class at a community college? Or something fun like a cake decorating session? Or maybe you could meet your DH's co-workers wives? Have them over for dinner? I've made a lot of good friends that way. I'm a very social person too, so I totally understand!

PrairieMom replied: I SO feel you. This is apparently more normal than I thought, judging from the replies. I quit my job a year ago, and that was pretty much my only adult contact. I don't really have any friends, none that are the just hang out and visit with me type anyway. It IS lonely.
I would elaborate more, but, Charlie is crying, so off I go... its always the way.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm so sorry, Dana!

Is it possible for you to start a MOPS group in your area? Or a MOMS club--where you all get together a couple of times a week for playdates?....

I'm dealing with loneliness on a whole other level. Empty nest syndrome. I miss my kiddos being gone all day and I'm trying to find that balance. I don't work and most of my friends are busy (or have little ones still at home---or live too far away.) I need to find something to do with my time.

If I'm not careful, I spend all day on the computer.....

my2monkeyboys replied: I'm so sorry Dana -- maybe you can start a group, as was mentioned. Try posting at your local library, or even take an ad out in the local paper.
I kind of know how you feel... I stay at home with the boys every day, since I'm homeschooling, and if it wasn't for our small group of families (3 total! LOL) that get together once or twice a week I would lose my mind!
So I say try to start a group yourself... you may surprised how many other moms are out there.

A&A'smommy replied: I have SOOOO been there!!! You could start a playdate group, we had one and we don't meet every friday like we did when we first started but we still meet a LOT of Fridays. Or you could start a bible study at your church and invite the ladies from the surrounding churches. You could have the ladies who sign up alternated weeks providing child care (we do that it works!!). Those little things ended up making me about 8 very good friends!!!

Danalana replied: Thanks, ladies.

msoulz replied: OK, with two little ones and a third on the way starting a group is probably out of the question ... but perhaps talking to someone at church who may have some time to organize??

lisar replied: I hope you feel better soon, I have never felt that way so I dont know what your going thru.
However, if you ever wanna talk give me a call. I can talk on the phone all night long, lol.

Danalana replied: Thank you