Ending 3 yr relationship - how can he not understand

flirtycuddle wrote: My df and I are ending for good after over 3yrs and a lot of lies and being hurt. I know it's for the best. We both feel it is and don't see how staying together would accomplish anything. He wants me to stay in the condo we have together for the kids and since he can't take care of them himself. I don't have any where to go since we just moved to Vegas and all that is here is his parents. He already told me if I do leave I take the kids with me and he can't see how he'd get to see them.... he's right it would be hard cuz I'd be going back to Phx. He wants us to be friends but I am just no where near that since we just decided today it's over even though for the last month it's been coming. My birthday is sunday and 2 yrs ago on my birthday we broke up and I left him taking our daughter. Last yr we went to dinner and he asked me to marry him on my birthday and then this yr we are breaking up a few days before it again. He still wants to take me to dinner and is all mad cuz I don't want to do anything like that with him. The kids are only 2 and 8 months so they don't know it's my birthday so why should I care if he is mad. He says im being immature about it all because I also moved our son and my stuff into our daughters room and out of the main bedroom. I can't bring myself to sleep in that bed with him when we aren't together and I feel like everything is falling apart in which it is. I knew I should have never moved to vegas with him but I thought he'd be happy and maybe we could work everythign out.....I don't even want to tell my parents cuz they both warned me what was going to happen. I can't get a place in vegas cuz they won't rent to anyone with an eviction so unless I get a room mate that doesn't mind 2 young kids and find a good enough job to pay for what we all need I am stuck in this house with him even though I can't stand to be near him any more.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am terribly sorry for what you are going through now.
My thoughts will be with you.

redchief replied: I'm sorry your relationship has come to this end. I hope you can all start to heal and carry on as quickly as possible.

MoonMama replied: I am so sorry hon. Many thoughts coming your way.

cameragirl21 replied: i'm really sorry to hear that. i hope things start to look up soon.

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry, I hope things work out for you soon.

redplaydoh replied:
You need to tell your parents, they'll find out eventually. So what if they say "told you so" just say "Yeah, you're right, I probably should've listened..." Right now you need your parents, and they love you unconditionally, just like you love your two.
I'm sorry the relationship is ending but it is good that both of you mutually agree that it has reached its end. For the kids sake one day when the wound isn't so fresh you can be on friendly terms.
Keep us posted and CALL YOUR PARENTS!!!n

gr33n3y3z replied: sorry to hear this

coasterqueen replied:

lisar replied: I am so sorry. I hope things get better for you. I think you should call your parents though. They will still love you no matter what.

stella6979 replied: I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, but I agree that you should call your parents. Sometimes, they can surprise you.

MommyToAshley replied:

I hope everything works out for the best. And, I agree... call your parents. You may have to swallow a little pride, but it's worth it if it's the best thing for you and your kids right now.

hopefulmomtobe replied: Oh dear. Your children are so young. My children were very young like that too when I got divorced. Have you thought about counseling or do you not even want to bother? Counseling helps a lot. My husband now and I went to counceling before getting married...we were having a lot of problems and it really helped us get stuff out so we could make a decission with a clear head. It isnt necessarily true that you will stay togther by going to counceling, but it clears the air enough to make a good decission about the relationship.

I'm so sorry though. I feel your pain.

3xsthefun replied:

TheOaf66 replied: very sorry to hear that, I hope you are able to get through this

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm sorry you are going through this! I think you need to get out of there and if it means calling your parents to see if they can help until you get back on your feet! I'm sure they would understand!

sunrosejenn replied: I'm so sorry. I know how you feel I left my BF back in August. But Eliana is not his daughter so it was a bit easier for me to leave.

sparkys2boys replied: Im so sorry hun. I hope that you can get this all figured out qucickly and move on. Please please call ure parents and let them help you though. If it was your children you would want them to call you right?? I think so... just call and talk to them calmly and say that you need there help right now.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm SOOO sorry honey!!!

grapfruit replied: Lots of hugs and P&PT

It's sad that it has to end, but I think the fact your kids are so young is a plus. My parents split up when I was 2 and in retrospect it was probably better then when I was older. My brothers dad (my step dad) and mom split up when he was 8 or so, that was harder on him. It's hard to say how he would be now (his dad used to do a lot w/him) b/c he died in a motorcycle accident when my brother was 10. But I think that I deal w/it a lot better b/c I didn't know what it was like to be w/my dad.

Also, I agree w/everyone else, it's better to clear the air w/your parents right away. I hope they don't do the "I told you so" b/c that just makes you want to grit your teeth and kick them. (J/K) what I mean to say, is I hope they realize you are hurting and are sensitive to you. You need support right now, KUP.

flirtycuddle replied: I can't go stay with my parents cuz my dad is in a stuido with someone and my mom is living with her mom. When I tell them it is just to let them know kind of thing. I thought about counsling but the fact that he cheated on me a lil over a yr ago and then 2 yrs ago decided he wanted to be with someone else then me and hsi daughter there is no way we can get back together. I mean he even told me he won't be faithful any more and that is when I said then it's over cuz i can't be with someone who wont be faithful. He says he wants to go to counsling ot get help but hasnt done anything to show he means it. I am looking for a place to stay and a job but daycares are saying they won't take ds cuz of his sever allergies.