Eating on a schedule?

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: I get so SICK and TIRED of my kids not eating at dinner time (especially my oldest) and then going through the whole bathtime and bedtime routine... then having him come out of his room at 9pm, when all the dinner stuff is put away, and ask to eat.

Drive me NUTS.

DH usually gets all gorilla like and makes him go back to bed - but I always yell at him and give Zach food - I tell dh that if HE was the one that was hungry, he could help himself to food. Zach can't help but be hungry... and that just because he wasn't hungry when WE were hungry, doens't mean he should be denied food.

Anyone here have a house rule that is: if you don't eat at dinner time, you don't eat at all?

(not to be confused with: if you don't eat what I make, you don't eat at all - and when you get hungry, you can eat what I made)

Personally, I think that is stupid... it can cause eating disorders.... but I was raised that way - if I didn't eat at dinnertime, I couldn't eat the rest of the evenng... and I had food issues growing older.

luvmykids replied:
We do, otherwise they would do the same thing. They've always got something better to do. Why isn't he hungry at dinnertime, do they snack a lot? I give them a small snack around 2, 3 at the latest and thats IT until dinner, then they're ready to eat and usually eat a lot, we don't even do bedtime snacks anymore.

C&K*s Mommie replied: we do not have that rule, mostly because we tend to eat late anyhow. Close to bedtime if they are still hungry per se, I may give them a small snack like crackers or something filling like milk for Christian. If Kellie sees Christian eating she will want whatever, too.

When our girls get older we (hopefully) will still have that in place. Eat dinner, maybe a light bedtime snack-- esp if they are going through a growth spurt that causes them to be hungry often.

kit_kats_mom replied: Well, K has her food issues but I tend to be somewhat firm with her since I suspect she would run me ragged if I let her. She has to sit with us during dinner and we feed her a before bed snack, usually cereal or a couple of yo baby yogurts.

That way she has no excuses to not sleep. We also put a small cup of dry cereal next to her bed but she's not been touching it lately.

I come from a lonf line of "cereal before bed" eaters so I can relate to the before bed munchies

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
They do not snack a lot before dinner time. They have a snack a tthe sitters between 2:30 and 3, when they wake up from their nap - then they play outside until we pick them up, weather permitting. They should be hungry!!!

We pushed back dinner time to 6 or 6:30 (used to be 5:30) so that we'd be sure they're hungry... but they're not!! They also do not get anything to drink after snacktime.

I don't mind giving them bedtime snacks if they're hungry - but it just gets on my nerves that it never fails that they want "dinner" when "dinner" is put away. Drive me nuts. I get that they know when they're hungry and when they aren't, and I don't want them to force themselves to eat when they're not hungry...nor do I want to starve them when they are, but... still... I wish we could just have diner at dinner time.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
My kids have to sit with us at dinner too, whether they eat or not. They choose not to eat.

Before bed, they usually have a little of what dinner was, but then they'll want some cheese, or cereal, or a peanut butter sandwich, or yogurt.

It's not that they won't eat what I made... cuz even if I offer up somethin gI KNOW they like, they won't eat it either. So I know it's not just because they're being picky.

coasterqueen replied: Ugh, Kylie did this to me last night and seems to be doing it alot more. Our rule is you eat what's in front of you at dinner, or nothing later. If she gets hungry later we'll heat up her dinner she didn't eat, but that never happens. Last night I finally gave her some grapes so she would stop whining. She really sounded hungry though.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
That is what we do. You're so much more eloquent than I.



We just give them extra stuff, too!

coasterqueen replied:
I don't sound so eloquent when I'm saying it to her. She drives me absolutely up the wall when she acts crazy at dinner. I swear she does things like this just to get me going.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: lol

both my kids have come to grasp that when I say: "you can have XXXX, or you can have nothing" I really mean that they take a fw bites then it's all up for grabs.

mckayleesmom replied: I haven't had that problem....Russell is all business when it comes to food period....He would eat 24/7 if we let him. The biggest problem with Mckaylee is getting her to focus on eating...she is usually buzzing around...but she eventually eats.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: We have the if you don't eat your dinner than nothing later rule. WE do the same thing with Breakfast and Lunch. IF they complain about being hungry then don't eat the meal they are given there are no snacks until the next meal. If they eat their meal and say they are still hungry then they can have snacks.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Hmmm, we're not there yet because Wil eats pretty well when it's time, but I agree with your rule as long as the kids are old enough to understand it and don't get forced to eat what's in front of them (like you said). There is a time and place in my book and personally, I feel you have to set boundaries for kids. If you don't eat here (the table), you don't eat. But I guess it really depends on their age. Right now we're on a schedule, but if Wil seemed hungry closer to bedtime, I would give him a snack because he still can't tell me if something is wrong, kwim?

Good luck...sorry I don't have any advice.

MamaJAM replied: For a 3 year old...no - we don't have a rule saying if they don't eat at dinner-time they don't eat.

BUT....we do indeed have that rule for older kids. If our girls (ages 13, 9 and {almost} 7) don't want to eat at dinner-time...they know they are going to wait until breakfast the next day to have food. And - with very few exceptions - they must eat what the main meal is...I'm not a short-order cook and I'm not making 7 different meals all the time.

The only time we'll give a dinner-refuser something later on is if they didn't eat at meal time because they were feeling sick. Then they can get warm-ups or a sandwich later on.
But -- if a healthy child over the age of 5 or 6 refuses dinner -- they have to wait until breakfast.

Cece00 replied:
I would bet this is your problem. Your kids know if you let them eat later, they can get away with eating "extra" stuff they do like.

Personally, my kids dont have this problem but if wouldnt eat @ breakfast, lunch or dinner time, they wouldnt be getting anything else. I dont mind giving a snack or two during the day if they are eating but if they dont want to eat what was for lunch...sorry. Esp b/c I make sure there is ALWAYS something my kids will eat on the plate & we have the rule that you must take 3 bites of everything on the plate before you can decide you dont want to eat it.

I dont believe it causes issues with food or anything. I would definetly not give into my kids in this situation.