Dreading things.....

Kaitlin'smom wrote: Okay some of you may remember the problems the oldest sister likes to cause, and things she has done/not done. Well since my other sister is getting married she has become more of a pain, we are just at a loss on what to do. I dont want her to ruin the wedding day, and I told my sister that and she agrees something needs to be done now, but I have no idea what to do or how to do it. I have not spoken to this sister since Feb 29th at the bridal shower. I hate confrontation, but I know it needs to be done, so I kinds took the easy way for now and sent her an e-mail to ask if she would join us for lunch on Sunday. So now I sit at work nervouse that ever time the phone rings it will be her demanding to know who, and why. I so really dont want to talk on the phone to her, this need to be done in person. I just have this image she will take us tring to help in the wrong way get mad and cut us off form her family, the worst part of that is my oldest Nephew always gets the short end of the sick and suffers (I so wosh I could get him out of that house he is so unhappy, and I dont blame him). i really dont know her other 2 kids very well (once again her doing not mine). If things go down bad we are looking at her not being in the wedding, loosing a DJ/Usher (my oldest nephew is doing it) and them not comming at all. The losing of her not being in the wedding and loosing Ronnie as an usher not that big a deal but the DJ is and him not being able to come. I am just so not wanting to deal with her anymore, but on the other hand we need to, she is build a wall and the only thing we can figure is that she is so unhappy with her life she has to take it out on others, and she cant stand the fact things are just not about her right now. She hangs on to the past way to much and I know I cant help her deal with thoes things, she wont let us and wont deal with them herself, just dwells on them. Please send me good thought on handling the awkard and bad susitation. Thanks for reading and if something does not make sence please feel free to ask question. Any help or advice would also be great!

jen replied: AWWWWWWWWWW man I know how hard it can be with family! I am sorry you have to go through that. That is pretty selfish of you sister to rain on your other sister's parade, you just don't jack with someone's wedding day, even though it is just a day!

I would get it ALL OUT and not hold anything back. Remember this isn't your fault and if your sister is as pushy and upfront as she sounds she will appreciate you being pushy and upfront with her even if she retailiates you will still be speaking her "language" KWIM?

I hated standing up to my sister, she gets all technical and pulls up every little thing from the past but I finally starting saying "you know what if you can't move on and get a life and build on the future instead of shoveling from the past you are pathetic". We now can have a conversation about today's issues and our "brighter" future! I would write a list of things you want to say to her and make yourself get it out! That was my problem is that I bottled it up and swallowed it down and held it in until I just BLEW up one day!

Good luck to you! I hope eveything works out for the best and in the best interest of your other sister's wedding day but remember that is just a day, it sounds like you need to come to blows with your sister for the Long Term!

Boys r us replied: I don't know anything about your situation other than what I've read here, but I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this hun!

coasterqueen replied: I wish I had some advice for you. When my sister is a real pill, I am the first to tell her! LOL! I am like how you are with other people, but when it comes to my sister I have no problem telling her anything whether it hurts her feelings or not. That's probably why we don't speak often. She hates to hear the truth.

mummy2girls replied: Oh my ..first of all i just wanted to send some (((HUGS))) and some i know what you feel. My sister is so much like yours. It comes to a point where i just hate even confronting her!

I would talk to her though and if she doesnt understand then i guess it her loss. I feel for your nephew. I feel the same about my neice.

(((HUGS)))

MommyToAshley replied: (((HUGS))) I am sorry you have to deal with this, but maybe a good face-to-face talk will clear the air and is what is needed. Besides, a wedding seems to bring out the worst in people during the planning stage, but then it seems to bring people together in the end. I hope this is the case here.

GOOD LUCK!

A&A'smommy replied: Awww I'm sorry your going through this! I don't have any advice just LOTS of (((((BIG HUGS))))) let us know how things go. Good Luck!

CantWait replied: No advice here but I wanted to wish you the best of luck

mckayleesmom replied: If she pulls anything on the wedding day...Im sure they have a broom closet you can lock her into for the evening.

kimberley replied: ((((((hugs)))))) i don`t have any advice. just wanted to send calming vibes and good luck vibes. i hope you can get through to her.

Kaitlin'smom replied: you all are so sweet, thanks, I have yet to hear from her if she is availabe sunday for lunch or not......I do like the broom closet idea.....I hope we can clear the air, however with the way she clings to the past I am almost positive this will be it and until she can grow up, deal with life not being perfect and move on, we will go our ways, sad but I dont need anymore stress in my life than nessary. I will let you know how it goes.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I have been in your situation and I have a brother that I pretty much disowned b/c of his actions. He sounds a lot like your sister. I wish you the best and hope things go well on Sunday (and on the wedding day). Stay strong sweetie.