Dont know where else to ask - I guess it will have to be here

Squishy41288 wrote: Hello, I am new here. Sorry if this sounds like a vent, Im just looking for a parents point of view, opinions, or whatever. Im 18 years old and I get along well for the most part w/ my parents until recently. In April of last year I went on a 660-925 calorie a day diet and did that for a few months. I got down to 85 lbs at 5'3'' and my mom started to notice the weight loss. She took me to a Dr. (against my will) and Im now forced to drink Ensure a couple times a day and Im back up to 100 lbs - still 5 lbs underweight. Now Im being forced to go to the Dr. yet again this comming Monday Obviously I dont want to go and Ive told them millions of times. Its almost like they enjoy watching me suffer through this. I get decent grades and try to stay out of trouble so I dont see why they would put me through this. The way I see it, its none of their business what my weight is. Im 18 and can make my own choices. They told me since Im under 21 and still under their insurance plan I cant legally do anything about getting out of going to the Dr. Im just wondering if thats true or not. Thank you for reading this.

CAMSMOM1 replied: I first wanted to welcome you! You've come to a great place, everyone here is very supportive, and friendly. So I hope to see you around! BTW, My name is Ann, I'm 23 years old. I have a son, Cameron, who is 20 months, and been married for 3 years.

Ok, so to answer you question, I think your parents love you and they want the best for you. You are 5'3 and were 85 pounds....I can see why they were worried about you. Have you been battling an eating disorder? Do you think you have a problem, or is it just them? My sister had gastric bypass surgery (weight loss surgery) last year. She is 5'1 and now weighs 120 pounds. She wears a size 3 jeans. She stll thinks she is "fat" even though she is VERY thin. She has told me that she has a body image problem, and she still sees a fat person stareing at her in the mirror. It is possible, that you can't see how you really look. Going on a 660-995 calories a day, is starvation to your body.
Your parents are looking out for you. Yes, you are 18 years old, and an adult. You have the right to make your own decisions. But please, take a deep look into this. Maybe getting some counseling could help with your body issues. I know how you are feeling. I've been there. I never had a weight problem until I graduated High School. It was very hard for me to deal with. I tried every diet pill out there, starving myself....I tried everything! But I had other issues I needed to deal with that were causing my insecurities, and my weight was only reflecting my internal conflict.
If you need someone to talk to about this. Please PM (personal message) me. Don't go through this alone.

Ann

MamaJAM replied: Your parents are trying to help you get healthy again.....being 85 lbs at 5'3" is NOT HEALTHY!!! And a diet as low in calories as you were on was hurting you.
Obviously - you have some serious body issues. Not only should you be seeing a doc about your weight...but you should be in therapy to help you deal with your issues. Hopefully when you turn 21 -- you'll want to keep yourself healthy and maintain a normal diet and weight.

Best of luck to you.

fashionmumofboys replied: Your parents are just looking out for you and don't want to lead you in the wrong direction. They don't want to see you sick one day, and sufferiing from all kinds of complications that can arise when someone is underweight.

Your parents are not going against you by any means, they want the best for you.

Good luck!

luvbug00 replied: HI I'm Nadia 23 mom to Mya who is 5.

when I was 18, I was well ...pregnant. but before that I was 17 and 93-95 lbs. ( i'm now a bloated cow) anyway..I'm a little shorter then you but close enough. I think that 80 odd pounds may be too small for somone of our hight.

do you do any sports? ( may be a factor for your low wieght , I was a dancer)

Maybe just a change in diet could bring the wieght up.

Sorry I'm horrid with advice.

your parents are worried probaly because that calorie intake is not good. My mom made me drink that ensure junk too.

I hope you can find a healthy balance that is good for you !

adixon24 replied: Welcome, just wanted to let you know that I am 24, and I feel like your parents are just trying to help (I know that's not what you wanted to hear). Being that small can do some terrible things to your body, especially on a low cal. diet like that! Hang In There and take care of yourself. If you ever need to talk this is an excellent place to be....Im thinking about you and sending you lots of big ...take care of you!

C&K*s Mommie replied: As far as the insurance question I am not totally sure. It is probably true, simply because you are 18 and in the eyes of the law you are an adult~ but in many other areas you are not considered and adult yet.

to what everyone else has said, your parents are looking out for your best interest. There are numerous complications that can arise now (with your wieght being dangerously low) or they can arise later (years from now, complications that you may never have considered). Take for example, Terri Schiavo although she was an anorexic (not sure if you really are) but she had major medical probs as a result of her anorexia. Consider yourself in her position, and how your parents would be besides themselves if you ended up in a vegetative state, or had a heart attack at the young age of 20!

Accept the counsel of the doctor, and the advice of your parents. They really are looking out for the best for you. As much of a legal adult that you are, at the age of 18, there is still so much life to live, and to learn after this. Take the wisdom of people that are older than you and I (I am only 27, and I accept the wisdom of others) they are just wanting to see you continue to grow into a beautiful woman.

Best wishes~~ please come back and keep us posted.

PrairieMom replied:


I have to totally agree. you are not at a healthy weight, and should deffinately follow the advice of your parents, they are acting out of love for you.
at 5'3 your ideal bodyweight is 115 pounds. Being 25 pounds underweight can have some very serious long term affects on your body, and that is nothing to play around with. Listen to those that care about you, and let them help you through this. good luck .

jcc64 replied: Hi and welcome. While I understand your desire for autonomy, independence, and respect, your parents are only trying to do what they consider to be the right thing for your health and well being. While you are technically an adult, your parents will not and cannot suddenly stop caring for and worrying about you. I am 41, and my mother still freaks out if she hasn't heard from me in a few days! That's the nature of being a parent, and you cannot possibly understand that until you become one yourself. (at which point you will feel compelled to call your parents and apologize for everything you put them through )
Seriously, though- I do believe you have some body image issues to address. My 10 yr old weighs 85lbs, and he's thin and nowhere near 5'3", so I would imagine that you are quite underweight. There are several long term health implications for subjecting your body to a prolonged state of starvation, and I'm pretty sure you erroneously believe you are impervious to these dangers (as many 18 yr olds do). The important thing to look at is why you feel so determined to compromise your health and future in order to be thin. At the very least, you should do some serious thinking about what's underneath this quest to be the weight of a child. You are a woman now, and if you want to be treated with respect by your parents, your behaviour needs to indicate that you are worthy of their trust. I can see why they have their doubts, and I hope that they can prevail upon you to do the right thing by yourself. You only get one body- treat it with the respect it deserves.
Good luck with everything.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I have to agree with the others. I know it's hard to accept help that you don't want, and probably don't think you need, but don't be angry at your parents for loving you and trying to help you - even if it seems like they are going about it wrong and being pushy, they are scared for you and doing the only thing they know to help.

Insanemomof3 replied: Your parents don't want to see you waste away to nothing, which sounds like what you are doing to yourself. Watch the Karen Carpenter story....or other movies about people with eating disorders. It sounds to me like you have one, if this is the case, you need to get some help. And you need your parents there for support. JMO

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:

If only someone had told me this while I was going through an ED myself! Good words Jeanne. So very true and unfortunately something hard to realize until your a parent yourself, but let me rephrase and say that it is possible with the right counseling. I honestly couldn't recover without the help of my parents, even at age 31 now, so my advice to you would be to let them in.

MAMACARLA replied: Hi and Welcome.

Your parents just care. To be 85 lbs and 5'3" is very skinny. Apparently they are worried about your health and the doctor is to. They just want you to be healthy and happy. And remember getting good grades and staying out of trouble isn't the only thing they worry about.

3_call_me_mama replied: I agree with most of what has been posted already so i won't retype it
I will say however that yes you are an adult. Therefore you need to make adult decisions. You do have the right to refuse the medical treatment and although you are on theri insurance they cannot force you to go to a doctor, as you have stated you are an adult. The fact that you have gone to teh doctor for this (even though you knew you didn't have to and that you didn't want to ) shows that you are aware there could be a problem. Deep down you know you are too thin, or you wouldnt' be seeking out advice about it. I strongly suggest you lean on your parents and close friends for love and support as you figure out what you are going o do to get yourself to a healthy weight that you can live with. Hoping you find the answers soon .