Does your MAN help clean the house? - Is there any hope for my LAZY man?

CAMSMOM1 wrote: I'm wondering if I have the only LAZY husband????

In the 3 yrs we've been married, he hasn't ever done the dishes, the laundry, cleaned up after himself.....he hasn't cleaned at all! The only thing he does clean is the garage, cause he knows that's his mess.

He'll leave his underwear on the bathroom floor, puts his clothes on the floor (because the laundry basket is to much work) and he can't wash his plate because he's to full.

I'm thinking it's to late for him to change. I guess I have babied him to long, and he expects these things to be done. The only chore he does is take out the trash! He doesn't even have to mow the lawn, since we have a gardener.

I'm on a CLEANING STRIKE! I'm sure if I did go on a cleaning strike, we'd be living in a pig sty! You should've seen his apartment, before we got married. He left our dog in his apartment all day, and she would poop all over the carpet. Dishes up to the ceiling. So I guess I can't expect much after we got married, I knew what a SLOB he was when I married him!

We have a 4 bedroom house. We can't even use 2 of the rooms, because he has all of his JUNK piled up in them!!! Why did we buy a 4 bedroom house, if we can't even use the space? I think we need to go on that TLC show, "Clean Sweep". Maybe someone else can convince him to throw out his junk. Besides those 2 rooms, the rest of the house is clean...cause I do it!

DOES ANYBODY ELSE HAVE A LAZY HELPLESS HUSBAND/SO LIKE MINE???

And is there any hope for my DH? Sure, I don't like to clean, but I have to do it or it doesn't get done. I just wish he'd help me out a little bit.

TeagansMom609 replied: Shawn cleans more than I do. IM the lazy one. LOL. Sad, sad, sad.

gr33n3y3z replied: yes Ed helps with everything

PrairieMom replied: Mine works really long hours, so I do the vast majority of things around here, but he does pull his share (or tries to anyway ) the weekends when I work.

MamaJAM replied: Sorry - I'm no help....my DH cleans as much (if not more) than I do around here.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Scotty will clean the kitchen on occassion. He cannot stand to have a dirty kitchen and if dishes are piled up he will clean it for me. He knows that is my least favorite thing to do. And, he does his own laundry if I'm behind on laundry and there is something specific he wants to wear. Oh and he will vaccum sometimes, too.

Other than that, I'm on my own. He doesn't pick up clutter or clean toilets or anything like that. And he is a CLEAN FREAK...he loves a clean house.

coasterqueen replied: Since we both work out of the home, we both share in the responsibilities at home as well. There may be certain things DH won't do, like clean toilets or dust, but he'll do other things I don't necessarily like to do, like mop floors. Although we've both done the things we don't like to do when the need arises.

Most of the time I must admit Dh probably does more than I do.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I do ALL of the house work but DH works very long hard hours,so it is a trade off IMO.

Kaitlin'smom replied: We both do it, we both work full time out of the home so we share in most everything there are a few things I do that he does not like laundry and there are a few things he does that I dont like mow the lawn or shovel the snow. I probaly do do more than him but he does help.

jcc64 replied: It's right down the middle here. We both work full time, and therefore we both share the household jobs. There's no set structure- we just start cleaning until it's done. I don't let him do the laundry b/c he does it badly and ruins my stuff, and I don't generally cut the lawn or shovel snow, but other than that, we both do everything.
My mom worked full time when I was a child, and yet my dad rarely did ANYTHING to help out. From very early on, I decided that wasn't gonna be the case for me.

3xsthefun replied: Rob helps clean, sometimes he does more then I do.

coasterqueen replied:
Same here!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: DH is a huge help with so many things, but I do most of the cleaning. He will cleanup after dinner most nights.

MomToMany replied: I don't think it's fair to expect my husband to clean the house after working all day. Plus, he takes care of everything outside (the corn stove, mowing, plowing, & the vehicle upkeep). But our older 2 boys (12 & 10) help out a lot, and the younger ones have little things they get to do too.

He won't change overnight; just ask him to do one little thing, and work up from there.

sillisha replied: my hubby dont help around the house either ........till i go on strike then he does for about a week.....lol .......good luck

jem0622 replied: My DH does help. He does laundry (cleans and dries. hardly ever sorts or folds it). He mops the floor. He cleans toilets. He vacuums almost daily. He takes out trash. He does the dish washer.

He likes to leave dirty dishes by the PC and dirty laundry on the floor. I call him on it all of the time.

He wasn't really forced to meet this expectation until we had 2 kids. Once we doubled in size (with the birth of the girls) I told him pointedly that I should not ask him to do anything. If he sees that it needs to be done (i.e. any chore) then do it.

Did you have any idea what he was like before you married? Interesting that we marry them and hope they change, and they marry us hoping we don't change. We have to accept them as they are. But I have pushed the fact that he sets an example for the kids and it just isn't acceptable to show them that it is okay.

moped replied: In a nutshell to answer your question

NO - no hope at all

KingMom replied: My husband is a neat freak! He can't stand the house to be chaotic especially when he comes home from work. Thankfully, his work scheduled allows him to be off 4 days straight (4 on and then 4 off), so since he doesn't mind he does most of the house cleaning. We have our own opinions on what is "clean" or "organized" but since I work full time with only the weekends off I try not to gripe about his cleaning methods

Oh, and he cooks too! I just love him to death

Hillbilly Housewife replied: not really..... he'll help me if i am ticked off enough. When I start banging things around he gets up and helps.

I do NOT take out the garbage, and he does NOT touch MY laundry though.

My2Beauties replied: I live with an absolute neat freak. With his new job Brian is home more often throughout the day so you can best bet my house is spotless when I get home. I love him for that, he normally does all the laundry, straightening up, vaccuuming, folding clothes, all that stuff, but alas - he leaves the stinking dishes to me - that is the one thing he won't do I can't complain though, I pretty much have it made!

CAMSMOM1 replied: WOW!!!!


I wasn't expecting so many replies back that their DH's CLEAN! I guess there is no hope for mine.

Nagging doesn't work, leaving the house a mess doesn't work...I guess I'll be the maid for the rest of my life!

fashionmumofboys replied: My DH helps out alot with the boys, but doesn't really clean the house. He may sometimes mop the floors, but will not do dishes or laundry.

So I do the majority of the cleaning inside of the house. He does all the outside work.

coasterqueen replied:
Ann,

Does your husband work and you SAH? I can't remember off the top of my head. If so, don't think of yourself as the maid, but as those are your work responsibilities.

For me DH and I both work, so we not only share the financial responsibilities of our life/marriage and children - we share the household duties as well. If I SAH I know my duties would be solely the house and our children. I wouldn't think of myself as the maid.



Edit to say that if you do both WOH, well then kick him in the can, sit down and have a talk and list out the chores and both of you chose which ones each one is going to do.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Chris is a big maker of a mess, when it comes to leaving things out that he has taken out. And leaving his clothes in the middle of the floor, or draped over the couch. But he is a hard worker, so I really do not expect too much when he gets home. I am privileged to be a SAHM, and I try to do what I can do without putting much pressure on him. He helps with cleaning the kitchen and everything involved with that. But that was our only agreement for divying up chores when we first were married. He would take care of the kitchen and mop, I would do everything else. I have no problem with taking care of things now, since I am not working full time anymore. But he helps- maybe not everyday- but I really cannot complain overall.

luvmykids replied:
My Dh works and I SAH, however, there is a line I draw between "basic" housekeeping duties and the fact that a grown man cannot put his laundry in the hamper, dishes in the sink, or coke cans in the trash. Just because I'm in charge of housekeeping does not mean he can be a lazy slob. He wouldn't like it if I drove a truck through his days work of framing a wall, I don't like it when he singlehandedly trashes my days work of cleaning the house!

Sorry, not venting at you, just in general.

CosmetologyMommy replied: If u find out how to make your man clean, please knock some sense into MY MAN!

My3LilMonkeys replied: My DH does help out a lot and I really appreciate him for it. Generally I have to ask him to do bigger things (fold laundry, vaccum) and occasionally I will come home to a disaster house but generally it is fairly neat and picked up. We both work on opposite shifts so he does a lot of the child care duties too.

coasterqueen replied:
I agree with that. I thought she was also talking about just general housecleaning duties.

luvmykids replied:
I really wasn't venting at you, I posted that right after we had an argument about the 82 coke cans on the coffee table. Sorry!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

My DH works long hours, he's a manager at his store. He has 2 days off, Thursdays and Sundays.

I work P/T as a Supervisor of 60 children @ after school program. I stay home with Cameron in the mornings, and go to work in the afternoons, from 1:00-6:00pm. When I'm done with the 60 kids, I go and pick up Cameron, and finally get home around 7:00pm every night.

I understand I only work P/T...BUT...if you can imagine taking care of that many children, and not coming home until later, I'm POOPED! And I try to spend as much time with Cam in the mornings, because at night I just don't have the energy. I'll give him dinner, a bath, and he's off to bed by 8:00.

I've always done everything around here. I cook, clean, take care of the baby, ect. He does play with Cameron. And changes diapers sometimes, and watches Cameron when I need him to. I understand he's tired, but so am I . KWIM?

If I was a SAHM...I wouldn't care as much, like you said about my responsiblities. But I know that taking care of children, is comparable to working 2 full time jobs. So even though I would do most of it, I think it still should be a partnership.

And to answer the question Kimberley asked, if I knew he was a slob before I married him. I did. But I didn't think he would be like that when we got married, bought a house, and had a child. I guess I knew what I was getting myself into.

He is a very loving man, we have a great relationship. But with little things like the chores and taking care of the baby, we struggle. He IS getting better taking care of Cameron, now that he's older, but nothing has changed with the cleaning. He's old fashioned, and thinks it's a woman's responsibility.

Ann

coasterqueen replied: Yeah that is a common mistake I think a lot of us make thinking they will be different when we marry them. Bad mistake, I've made it with many attrributes of my DH as well. If he's old fashioned and thinks it's the woman's responsibility you are NEVER going to change him IMO. Nothing will change him. My father and many other men in our family is like this, never gonna change. This is why I made sure I found a man who was NOT like this because I knew that was one thing I was not going to settle on. I wonder what my husband wants to change about me.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am a SAHM and I do feel like the care of the house and Tay is my JOB. It is what I signed up for-I do not always enjoy it (who does ) but I am sure that in the out of home work force there are many things people do that they do not enjoy...I know in my husbands job he does not always enjoy his work...I try to look at it as a necessary evil