Does it really get harder

Emeraldsmom wrote: Just a question for you moms. Emerald is almost 4 months. She had colic for the first month and a half, but besides that, dh and I have been blessed to have such a good baby. I am kinda worried because people keep telling me to enjoy her while she is a baby because as they get older it just gets harder and harder. Do you agree w/that? And in what ways is it harder? Thanks in advance for your responses.

paradisemommy replied: i would say yes - it does get harder but in a good way. they are so helpless when you bring them home and can't do anything on their own - as they grow up and become more mobile then you suddenly have to rearrange your house - gone are the days that you could put your baby somewhere and know that he/she would be in the exact same spot when you get back. then they start getting the hand/eye coordination down and you can't turn your back on them for a second or they are picking up the littlest microscopic piece of whatever and trying to put it in their mouth. and it just keeps going on and on. at 2 1/2, he's climbing furniture and jumping off it. we took him to the tennis courts the other day, i look over to find taven climbing the fence and he's probably about 7 feet off the ground to the very top of the fence. we're working on potty training, not to mention his sassy little attitude but it's all good because he is becoming so independent and so big.

MomToMany replied: I agree that it does get harder, but like Tammy said, in a good way. She has some good points there! But as they grow and change, so do you. You will love each stage they go through, and love seeing them learn about the world.

kimberley replied: hmm i don't think it gets harder. just different. once you get used to a screaming toddler who draws on walls and stands on tables, then you have to get used to one that talks back to you. it is equally as hard imo but find that i have a bit more freedom the older they get. just enjoy it all as it comes

mammag replied: I agree with Kimberley. It's not necessarily hard, just different. There are new things to deal with but also like she said the independance is great! I'm looking forward to Keegan being able to sit up in a chair right now because he likes to be upright so cries if I lay him down while I'm trying to do something. Once he can sit (even just assisted) I think I'll be able to get a lot more done. It's just little things like that, things change... you get one challange over with and a new one comes along but you enjoy it anyway because they are growing and you are growing with them.

I'm glad to hear that she is such a good baby. That helps a lot.

ediep replied: I don't think it gets harder, actually I like the toddler years better than the infant stage. I love that Jason feeds himself, talks, tells me what he wants for snack, colors pictures, lets me know that hes tired. I am well rested since he sleeps through the night and naps regularly, I feel like I can organize my time and get other things done

coasterqueen replied: I think it's just different with each stage they enter in to. There were things about babyhood that were hard but there are things about toddlerhood that are harder and some that are easier. For me what's difficult is always adjusting to a new stage, new chapter in life. I sometimes have more of a problem with it than my DD does .

ammommy replied: It certainly gets more challenging. Each stage can be difficult to adjust to. For example, you get used to your baby sleeping and being content then suddenly she can move. Whoops! no more leaving her on the floor while you get something done. OK, got the house babyproofed then suddenly you are dealing with a quick, climbing toddler who is frustrated because she can't speak as well as she can think. However, she can play on her own again for brief periods of time so you can get a few things done again. Then come the preschool years where you begin wondering "why did I want her to talk?" and for some reason she needs you to play with her all of the time again. Also, sassing and back talk seem to pop up around then, too. At the same time, she is more independant most of the time. (That's as far as I've gotten....) Each stage has it's plusses and minuses and will keep you on your toes

mom21kid2dogs replied: I agree with those that said not harder, just different. It seems you just settle into a routine and something major changes and there it all goes again. I was never a big infancy fan so lots of things about toddlers appealed to me. I love the challenge of a walking, talking person, most of the time.
I think the key is really to never get to "set in" with any one pattern of behavior, personality or stage. They all change as they grow and with the joys come the challenges. The thing that has helped me the most is to be very aware of what is developmentally appropriate at each age. This helped my adjust my expectations (be it up or down ) accordingly. I say close your ears to the naysayers and enjoy every stage with your child. Even days that seem hopeless can turn out to be the source of great joy!!

Alice replied: It certainly becomes a lot more interesting once they start to really develop a personality. Right now Kira (almost 2) is into everything: taking eggs from the fridge, emptying my wallet into the radiator grates, and climbing out of her crib. But she gives the greatest hugs!!! She puts her arm under my neck and holds on tight when we're lying down on my bed or the couch. There is nothing in the world like when they start to hug you back!!

My almost-5 year old is busy practicing her letters all the time. She has a finely tuned sense of imagination.... we need to buckle Dora (the Explorer) or Steve and Joe (from Blue's Clues) into the car each time we get in. She's enthralled with all the Disney princesses and has decided that her birthday party (which she has been planning since last February) will be a princess party.... for the moment, anyway.

My 6.5 year old son is in 1st grade, and such a little man. He spells everything he can, but still sleeps sometimes with his blankie. He's a wonder on his two-wheeler, and was experimenting with riding one-handed when the weather gets cold. He loves doing his math homework, and just got his "Dragon White" belt in Tae Kwon Do.

As each one enters a new stage, I decide that that one is the one I like best. So hang on to your hat, buy a lock for the fridge, and always have a camera ready. It's a wonderful ride!!!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Ok, I am here to tell your nothing is harder than being a parent to a teenage girl. Especially when you find condoms in her purse. Something like that sure takes the wind out of your sails, and almost sends you to your knees and has you talking to God.

When they are babies it is hard. They cry and fuss and it kills you not to be able to help them, not to know exactly what they need. You are tired and new at the whole thing. So, it difficult. I can remember my daughter having colic so bad and she would cry and cry ..and I would get where I couldn't stand it either and I would cry too.

I think for me it has gotten harder. Because as a teenager she feels she doesn't need me. That is the hard part, to let go and realize my kiss isn't going to fix every boo boo. And I may know her problems now, I may know why she is crying but I still can't fix it. Or she wants her friends to help her more than me. I miss being the most important thing to her.

I miss putting them all in one spot and know that even though they are crying , that after I go to the bathroom they will still be in the same spot, nothing like wondering where you kids are? When are they going to call.

Nothing like hearing mom for the first time, it sure beats the heck out of Oh Mom ! that I hear now.

party-of-six replied: Teenagers are tough.......I have one that will be 16 in a few weeks....but I also have 26 month old twin girls and a 4 year old son....I think it is all in how you approach their "kiddie higinks" and less to do with how 'difficult' the child is. My kids are a blast and even when they get into the fridge or take all the straws and scatter them all over the house...I manage to turn it into a game.

A&A'smommy replied: Alyssa has always been really good she has moments where she gets testy or when she doesn't feel good she is whiny and pitches a fit if you look at her wrong (not literally) but other than that I think its easier she has been held a LOT and when she got to be about 6 months old it was harder to do things while I held her that was when it was hard when she started walking she would just follow me around and entertain me

kileyjae replied: I agree not necessarily 'harder', but, certaintly different.

But, (for me anyway) it was good because they weren't that dependent on me anymore. And, to see them develop their 'individuality' is pretty darn cool.

But, I have to agree with the Parents of Teens..having gone through it twice, once with a boy and once with a girl, and having a 'tween' (11) boy, the baby/toddler years were a breeze...this is when the 'fun' really starts.

loveydad replied: I don't really think it gets harder I think it gets different - Just like everyone else said.

What is really hard for me, is now that they're older- I can't protect Nicky from every fall and I can't "Teach" the twins how to walk. I can cheer Tracy up after she falls off her wagon or the twins won't play with her, but I can't cushion every blow and I can't MAKE the twins play with her. In that respect I can't make the kids at school play with Kel or stop making him cry - I can talk to the teacher but he has to fight his own battles part of the time and that tears me up! And seeing Henry going through his own set of challenges with his medical problems and fighting each day to make it through school, I can't do school for him- I can comfort him after a bad day and I can talk to the teacher about why he's upset, but I can't force the teacher not to make them have to read "the giver" because it's got a part where a child is KILLED and it upsets him so bad.

It's awful to, after having this helpless baby who you did EVERYTHING for, you cushioned from danger and kept out of the wrong peoples arms, and fed him and diapered him and clothed him - to go to suddenly they're off to school and they have boo boos you can't just kiss away.

That's the hard part for me. (sorry to go all preachy)

I'll tell you something else, with Tracy, it got easier. She had colic SO flippin bad. And there were days when I wondered how I got through it with 3 year old twins and a tiny baby like her. She was our little miracle baby and it was like ....How could she be anything less than what I had expected. You know she'd cry for hours and I would get SO frustrated and just...sometimes have to lay her down and knowing she was safe go do something else while she screamed- That was difficult for me- We'd take shifts and finally it went away- I've never come so close to resenting my child and I feel HORRID for that because I know she couldn't help it - and I don't resent her at all now, but it was hard times, you know? And then she stopped crying hours at night and she was cooing and laughing and just...so beautiful - not that she'd ever not been but I could now notice it better- and soon she was crawling and walking and I just marveled at the way she grew- I'd say today is MUCH easier than those trying times. She's smart and funny - and healthy. And she's trying sometimes - but I don't mind as much remembering those awful days.

Ps. The teenage years - yeah, they suck ! (at times!)

Emeraldsmom replied: Thank all you guys soo much for your resoponses. It helped alot to get everyone's imput.

DansMom replied: One thing I know is easier with a four month old: going to a restaurant! Daniel would sleep in his carrier seat right next to us while we talked and ate. Now a visit to a restaurant is such a project.

The early infant days, when they sleep so much and have such simple needs, they are easy in a way, but I'm enjoying the toddler stage more.