Do you ever feel....

MyLuvBugs wrote: ...like you just don't fit in? We're feeling that way right now. Livin' in lincoln took the big city folk out of us.....now we just don't feel like we fit in here.

amymom replied: Oh Erika! I am sure it will just take some time.

Yes I feel like I don't fit in quite often. I could tell you stories but won't . I hope everything falls into place soon. It is hard to move and start over again.

cameragirl21 replied: Oh, Erika, just give it some time, you'll get used to it and you'll fit right in. It's just all new to you now and i'm sure it's overwhelming. i have no doubt you'll make a bunch of friends in no time!

MyLuvBugs replied: We're not worried about making friends. We've got several here in the area. Believe me...friends and family a plenty here.....

Just aren't liking the fast pace and crowds, the rude neighbors and bad drivers, blah, blah, blah all that comes with a metro city.....

oh well....it'll get better......right??

cameragirl21 replied:
y'know, it's funny you should say that, Erika, i must say i don't know most of my neighbors very well, i met a few during the 2005 hurricane season because there was no power and we were all outside cleaning up the debris our yards so we got to talking but i have one next door neighbor whom i absolutely can't stand so yeah, i guess we do have rude neighbors in big cities.
as for the fast pace, yeah, i feel like people just can't move fast enough for me, i get so frustrated in traffic when people go too slowly and as for the bad drivers, lol, we're perennially hooked up to our cell phones! lol, i remember once on craig's list, some freak put up his "farewell to miami" and wrote something like, "to all you cell phone addicted drivers, i'm sorry for driving the speed limit and thereby making you late to the pilates studio, plastic surgeon or the trendy new bistro in Boca." lolol, i was cracking up but i guess if you're not used to living in a big city that is baffling.
all i can say is, you'll have to get used to it because that part of things doesn't change in big cities, we're all in a rush!
i'm sorry you're having a hard time, i'm sure you'll come to love it though, i came here from a smaller city, but then again i went to college in pittsburgh which isn't exactly a small city but i grew up in a fairly small city in Ohio and all i can say is, once you're here there's no going back.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Been there several times. Moved from...
Rock Springs, Wyoming to New Jersey.
New Jersey to North Carolina.
North Carolina back to Wyoming.
Wyoming to Idaho(not too far geographically, but world apart socially. My town is predominantly Mormon. Nothing wrong with that, but when you aren't it makes you an outisder.)

All I can offer is that it's said that it takes about 6 months to really feel at home in a new place. And it sure held true for me. Good luck, sweetie. It's not easy, but at least you have the stability of us.

MommyToAshley replied: I have btdt... being an army brat I moved quite often. I always felt like an outsider at first, but by the time for us to move again, I was sad to leave. Hang in there.

Is there a rural area within a short commute to the city? Maybe you can have the best of both worlds?

luvmykids replied: I feel that way a lot, when I'm out here in the country and when I'm in the city I miss the country.....I guess I'm not "defined" enough by either one to fully feel truly at home. I'm happy here but don't feel like I've got the hang of it like everyone else does

I hope it gets better, I'm so glad you guys have friends and family there

redplaydoh replied: That's me... I don't feel like I fit in here either. The trouble is, I don't think I'd fit in anywhere.
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, went to Dallas when I was 19 and lived there almost 12 years, liked it, but it never felt like "home" to me. Went back to Oklahoma for a very short time and almost went crazy because it was such a slower pace than what I was used to.
Moved to Connecticut with DH and neither of us felt like it was "home" there either although we were happy, just the way things are.... it was different for both of us.
Now we're here and I don't fit in at all. Maybe it's because I don't speak the language and customs/cultures are all different. That doesn't mean I'm not trying really hard to make this my home.
But, if I were to move back to the US, where would I go? Oklahoma is a place I've outgrown in a way... I've been away from Dallas too long to make another go of it there, friends have moved on, died or I've just lost contact, no real connections there anymore. Connecticut was nice, but not a place we'd want to move to again.
So I'll always be a misfit I guess.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

MyLuvBugs replied:
Well, we live on the very outter edge of the PHX city limits. So, it's very quiet out here, but the neighborhood is.....well.....filled with Lexus, BMW, Chrysler 300's, Hummers.....KWIM? And here we are with our beat up Saturn Vue and Dirty Dodge Durango.
And there's really only been 2 of our neighbors that have acknowledged our presence when we wave. One neighbor has yelled at my MIL and at Steven already. Oh so very friendly a folks. Definately not what we're used to, and definately NOT what we want to become or what we want our kids to become.

I hope Kelly is right and that it will only take about 6 months to feel comfy again. And if not....well, we won't be here forever.

sparkys2boys replied: Sorry to hear that your not so happy with the move. It may take some more time and then it will feel better.

amynicole21 replied: I'm an ex-hippy democrat who works for a SERIOUSLY conservative republican firearms wholesaler... I feel like I don't fit in every single day of my life. I just had to walk out of the lunch room because several people in there were bashing homosexuals. I hate it here.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
OMG Amy...I'm so sorry you have to deal with that!

Erika, I totally know how you feel. I'm actually on the other side though. Not that I came from a large city, but now I live in the burbs where I just don't feel like I fit in and it's been over two years! I love how family-oriented it is here where I live (loads of moms doing what I do), but it is very very conservative and there is a church on every corner. Nothing wrong with churches, but I feel that I don't fit in because my family doesn't attend a church, kwim? So people are friends because of what church they belong to, etc. So we're sorta out of it. BUT, I do have my moms club and have made friends through their friends. You will do the same! Plus, if you guys DO go to church, I'm sure you will meet a lot of people that way. When I moved, I picked up every FREE publication in this town to read up on what there was to do and what clubs to join. That's how I found my mom's club. There are over 85 members now in my club and I know just about all of them!

Good luck...you know it will get better soon!

MommyToAshley replied:
Amy, I am sorry you had to deal with that. I hope that you do not think all conservatives are like this. While I have my own beliefs based on my religion, I would never judge someone... it is not for me to judge. I can't see myself promotiong that lifestyle, but I definitely would not tolerate bashing or that sort behavior either. When I hear stories like this, it makes me so angry. To me, that is not part of being a republican or conservative. In fact, because it was in the workplace, I believe that kind of behavior is actually illegal.

(Sorry to get off topic)