Do you censor the facts?

MommyToAshley wrote: Some background: Last year we took Ashley to the zoo. They had a dinosaur exhibit in which we walked through a path in the woods and there were huge mechanical dinosaurs that moved and roared. Ashley was scared of them and actually had nightmares. She didn't want to have anythign to do with dinosaurs.

Fast forward to this week: At the library, Ashley picked out a book about dinosaurs. It was in the kid's section, but I still skimmed through it it to make sure it was appropriate for her age. It was mostly about bones (had the rhyme in it about ... teeth bones connected to the head bone, head bone connected to the neck bone, .... ect) It also had pictures of the different dinosaurs. DH and Ashley were reading the book and he pointed to the Brachiosaurus and told Ashley that was a nice dinosaur and ate leaves.

So, the next day when she was reading the book with me, she told me the Brachiosaurus ate leaves and wanted to know what the Tyrannosaurus Rex eats. I told her that it ate "meat". She replies, "sooooo... he eats people food?" I had to laugh, but I didn't actually correct her.

I heard her talking to her dolls and she was telling them that the Tyrannosaurus rex eats people food. I feel like I should correct her and give her the facts, I want her to feel like she can believe what I tell her is the truth. But I don't want to scare her and give her nightmares again.

What would you do? Do you tell the whole truth?

gr33n3y3z replied: well in a round about way she is right meat is meat lol
I would just let it go and at an older age tell her what the meat is lol

amymom replied: I agree with Lisa. Everything is given age appropriate. I think she will understand it in time. But at 3 being more specific is overkill. (no pun intended ). I think we need to let our kids be kids, And Ashley is very bright she won't think that you have 'fibbed' to her when you didn't get more specific.

ediep replied: oh yes, I censor the facts a lot! ANything that I think will scare him, I sort of change but not lie.....like you did.

ammommy replied: I start by sensoring the facts, then go by Alec's cues. If the sensored version curbs his curiosity, great. If not, I keep adding details until he has the answers he wants. Remeber the "how do babies get into your tummy?" discussion last year. I so wasn't prepared for a biology lesson, but that's what he wanted This week, it's been about nutrition and how the body makes energy. That boy's keeping me on my toes. Sorry, got off on a tangent I say Follow her cues for how many details you give her, but never lie.

redchief replied: I once read a book at Kaitlin's First Grade guest reading circle (they get dignitaries from the town to come in and read). We were given a selection of books to choose from and I picked "Mom, Can I Have a Stegasaurus Please?" by Lois G. Grambling. In it, a young boy finds a "giant egg" and assumes it must be a Stegasaurus egg. He then goes on about trying to convince his mother that the Stegasaurus would make a perfect pet. The children and I had a ball with the book. I had them say "Can I have a stegosaurus Mom? Can I please? If I had a stegosaurus Mom..." along with the pleading boy in the book... It's a recurring line and gave the book some really neat interaction. Just thought it might take a little of the fear out of dinasaurs for Ashley.

You can see the cover and reviews on the book here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081673387...glance&n=283155

kimberley replied: i probably wouldn't correct her at her age. her facts aren't completely skewed otherwise i might. she just put her 3yo spin on it. i try not to lie to my kids because it is a sin and causes confusion but i do try to simplify things as much as i can. the boys were quite young when 9/11 happened but it was everywhere.. news, school, neighborhood.. everyone was talking about it. so i just explained to them that some bad people did bad things and some people got hurt but mommy and daddy are here to protect them and keep them safe. they were satisfied with that.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I would probably do what you did Dee Dee. I think not knowing the real truth is what's so FUN about being a kid! I miss that sometimes!

luvbug00 replied: I personally don't believe in censorship. Would it scare her to know that it ate other dinorsoars??

luvmykids replied: It just depends on the topic, but I do sugar coat some stuff.

~~*Missi*~~ replied: I would have probably been like they eat meat and left it at that but i wouldn't have lied.
if asked mommy what kind of meat? I would think of a tactiful way of telling the truth with out scaring the bageebers out of her.....

I guess i believe in the truth but i do believe in sugar coating it so you don't scare the bageebers out of the kids....

DansMom replied: Well, Daniel in his boylike fashion loves the ideas of big animals eating other animals, so that particular subject hasn't been our issue. If Ashley had asked him, he would have said "Some dinosaurs eat leaves, and some of them eat little dinosaurs" (he said this to his aunt just the other night).

The answer is still yes, though. I inherited some children's books that just don't work with things I don't want him thinking about right now. In Horton Hatches the Egg, and in Babar, there are hunters with guns going after the mother elephant. Maybe at age 7, but not at age 3. So I have totally fluffed over and invented gentler scenarios for what is happening on that page. If a parent dies (like the implied death of the mother in Finding Nemo) I don't explain, and if he asks I'm pretty flustered and make something up. I might be wrong to do this---this is a good question.

MommyToAshley replied:
This is what I am afraid might happen. I can see Ashley talking to someone like Daniel and saying "some dinosaurs eat leaves and some dinosaurs eat people food". And, then someone like Daniel correcting her. She will come back to me and say that I said the Ty. Rex eats people food and that's not right (even though she drew her own conclusion). But, I know if I told her that they ate other dinosaurs she would probably have nightmares for awhile. So, just wondering if I should tell her the truth now or wait until she is older or hears the truth from someone else.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Have you thought about renting one of the "land before time" movies? We have them here... Zach ADORES them. He's also got a pack of plastic dinos he got fdor Christmas that he amuses himself with... he makes thje bigger ones eat thew little ones.