Do You Want to Know What's Sad?

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: Is that right now the biggest topics on this board are about a Placenta Smoothie and Vaccinations! The placenta smoothie I think has been overkilled, yeah it's kinda funny to read some of the replies but let it go! As for the vaccinations, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion and why it ends up in these huge debates is beyound me!

That said and I am in no way wanting to offend anyone right now. But right now in Toronto there is a 10 year old boy who has fought like H$LL to beat Cancer and Myleodysplasia Syndrome and that he finally had his Central Line removed. A line that has been in his body for 1 1/2 years prior to the 5 mths of having a pic line in his arm. Without advances in medicine, my son wouldn't be here today! So remember this 10 year old boy when you talk about vaccinations and placenta smoothies! Life is so precious, it can be gone in a heartbeat!

Mods Feel Free to Delete This, I Don't Care Anymore!

My3LilMonkeys replied:

redchief replied: In all honesty, Kirsten, I think that debate on important parenting issues such as vaccination is one of the reasons this board exists. I think it's really important that as members share their feelings and intuitions regarding any topic where there is polarization. they respect and tolerate that others may not see it their way. One thing I've always believed is this, if I can't change someone's opinion in a short conversation, it's highly unlikely that I'll ever be successful. So, I've learned to accept that people will not agree with me on many a topic, but I've also learned to live with that. We all need to be able to do that if our debates are to remain civil and informative.

Another thing I've learned that I never thought was possible is that I am able to learn from a group of primarily young mothers. Kudos to all of you for your research, sharing your knowledge, and even for your passion, whether I agree with you or not.

Edited to add: Re: the Placenta Smoothie thread, I agree it's high time that one died.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Kirsten I'm happy to hear Spencer's latest victory. He has come so far. That boy is a FIGHTER!!!!

As for the debates and other threads...

I know the last thing you want to read when you are going thru a rough time is a thread on placenta smoothies and people bickering back and forth on vaccines. It's hard to come to a place for support when you log on and it looks as though no one is taking anything seriously. I've been there, I'm sure most of us have. And sometimes when we are going thru a tough time we forget that the entire world isn't experiencing the same heartache we are b/c that's all we've known for however long. That doesn't make your story any less important and it doesn't make their debates any less important. We all have our own story to share. We all have something to learn from each other. And sometimes we've just got to make light of some situations...we just need to learn when to let it die. *ahem*

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Kirsten, I'm sorry you feel like nobody talks about anything important.

I know you've gone through a lot...and you're still struggling with stuff... but try to keep a sense of humor as well as posting about negative things, hon... might bring a smile to your day and help you focus on positive things. I know stupid silly things like the placenta thread make me smile when the world around me is falling apart..helps me think of something other than the crap I'm dealing with in reality. If you think that's sad... well sweetie.. I don't know what to tell you.

Good for Spencer, he's come a long way.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: And ya'll could have told me to stop it at anytime rather than being so underhandedly making comments about letting it die.

Calimama replied:

I agree. If this isn't the place for it, then where exactly is that place, KWIM? I know I learn a lot and I might NOT have learned it if it wasn't for this board. As far as the placenta thread, that's beating a dead horse IMO but it doesn't annoy me as long as it stays in that thread.

Calimama replied:
I did mention that it was getting annoying and I was ready for it to end and someone bumped it up BECAUSE I mentioned that. I figured it was best not to bring it up then.

Calimama replied:
Well said.

Crystalina replied: Well, the way I look at it if I come on here and don't see anything to talk about I will post something. The 'New Topic' button is there for all to use so if someone has something to say by all means you should use it.

And the placenta smoothie thread...omg, it's one thread. Is it that much trouble? I've never thought "just let it die" when it came to a thread. I work around it. I still post, still read and still respond. The thread (any thread) takes up a small fraction of your screen space ..that is unless you open it.

We are all different on here. What bothers one may not bother another. That does not mean important issues are overlooked at all. If it's important to you and want people to know then post it.

Calimama replied:
It was spilling into a ton of other threads, that's the part that was bothering me, not the thread itself.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Kristen, I went through the exact same feelings very recently. Sometimes people are going to 'blow off steam' in ways that are not amusing to you. It is really hard when you want to reach out for support but don't feel like you will be taken seriuosly or worse yet had something unfeeling or 'funny' said to you in response to your request. ITA that the placenta thread got way out of hand but it has seemed to stay in that thread for the past few days and that is fine-I can choose not to read it. As for the debates-I don't ever think debates, when done with respect, are a bad thing. You may not ever change aomeone else's mind BUT sometimes defending what you believe or sharing why you believe it is good for you! I am sorry that you are feeling down about this board...I do believe that you still care though because you wouldn't have said anything otherwise.

We all pulled for Spencer! We are all so thankful that he is in better health everyday!

All I can say is hang in there...This too shall pass!



Well said!!!!

CantWait replied: Well I for one AM offended. We've been through this with you every step of the way as best as we could, and listened to you rant about your relationship with your husband, your neighbours, your landlord, your depression etc....

Seems we're good enough when you need to VENT, but when we have some fun, regardless how meanless and stupid it is, it's an issue for you.

Unfortunetly sometimes, life goes on. If you don't like the topics on the board, then by all means you're in no way entitled to open the thread.

Crystalina replied:
I understand that but it was not from the "placenta posters". It was usually from someone who did not post much but made reference to the placenta thread. EXample 'What's for lunch....please don't say placenta". I can't remember if that was the exact title to that thread but that's an example.

See, it leaked into here now. I throw up my hands.

Calimama replied:
Good point.

Nina J replied: I am so glad to hear about Spencer. I always read the updates when you post a new thread about him, sometimes I just don't have the time to reply

I don't really go in the placenta smoothie post, but I think some light heartedness (if thats a word) is a good thing.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: You know this post wasn't about nobody talking to me. I'm used to this IRL. This isn't about how I'm feeling right now although yes I'm very depressed right now, but that doesn't matter and I will stop posting about my depression and Spencer as it seems to be bothering people. Yes you have all been through everything I've been through with Spencer and I have appreciated everything you have done. Your support has been overwhelming. This post was to bring some light on what's really important and maybe I should have left my situation with Spencer out of this.

It makes me sad that people argue in these "debates"! It frustrates me to no end, when I want to make a comment, but know that if I truly say what I want to say, it will hurt people. But I guess it's too late for that, I've already hurt people.

I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry I ever brought this up! Heaven forbid someone have there own opinion.

I'm sorry for offending everyone. I think I need to cool off before I come back and post again.

kit_kats_mom replied: Hey Kristin, having a rough one lately eh? I'm sorry.

luvmykids replied: First of all and we're all very happy to hear about Spencers progress

Nobody is saying you can't come here and vent and talk about whats going on in your life, just that this board has a great mix of funny and serious, happy and sad topics. Nobody having a little fun is making light of your circumstances

stella6979 replied: You know what I think is sad? When some people try to dictate what others can and can not talk about. I'm sorry, I tried to refrain from posting in this thread, but I just don't get it. This is a place for people to come and discuss anything especially since it is the "general discussions" board. I think we're all aware of the "ugliness" in this world, but I for one am not going to sit and dwell on it. Even with as much silliness that goes on here at PC, I still know that I can come here with serious topics and everyone will do their best to make me feel better or just give some friendly advice.
With all that being said though, I'm glad to hear Spencer is doing so well. I hope he continues to strive.

My2Beauties replied:
Kirsten I have to admit that the debate threads sometimes do get way out of hand, to be honest. But what can one expect when you're talking about such hot topics and between many different people who have many differing opinions and feel VERY strongly about the topic at hand. I think there are some members who are very quick to reply to a post negatively or they seem to be replying in a negative fashion and the words some use are very hurtful. We all have to realize that we are all different, we come from different backgrounds, religious beliefs, upbringings, ethnicities, even countries. The fact that Mollie is anti-vax and CeCe is very pro-vax and a lot of us are inbetween doesn't have anything to do with the fact that the main reason this board is created is for us parents and those who wish to be parents or wish to find information regarding parenting, gives us a place to go when we have ANY question at all. Sometimes our question may raise eyebrows, but it's the nature of the internet. What matters is that from one thread to the next we can disagree with someone and then turn around and offer a to that person for something else that is going on in their lives.

As far as the placenta smoothie thread, I tried keeping up with it, I really did, but it got so long that I stopped reading it. I just go around it and don't post in it, I mean some of it really is funny, everyone was just having fun. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I don't think that anyone is trying to upset you in any way.

jcc64 replied: Big hugs, Kirstin. Having had depression myself, I know how it can color everything and everyone around you in a very dark way. I know what it's like to feel out of step with "normal" people. Sometimes it feels like I'm standing still and everything else is whirling by me, making no sense or seeming completely and utterly trivial or stupid. That feeling is very isolating and one of the very worst aspects of depression, imo.
You've been through so much, and your struggle will continue. You and Spencer have fought so hard and come so far- I am in awe of you. But from my own experience with depression, very often when the acute crisis dies down, in this case for you it's Spencer's health, that's when some of the really hard feelings come bubbling up to the surface.
I wish you strength and peace as you work on getting your life together. As always, we ARE behind you, even if we don't all agree with one another 100% of the time.

holley79 replied: I think I did mention to someone on the phone from this board the other day home when someone is talking about something serious in their life (ie a sick child) it has never gone for as long as the placenta thread went which in a sense is very sad. I think I even posted a "beating a dead horse" in there at one point.

You didn't offend me at all with what you said. I do think "debating" is healthy as long as daggers aren't thrown at one another but we have come to expect a few to get out of hand here and there. When you feel strongly/ passionate on a subject it's hard to keep emotions at bay.

I'm so glad Spencer is doing well. That is just awesome and actually made my day to hear that. Keep your chin up sweetie.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Who the heck wants to dwell on negative stuff? I'd be horrified at a negative thread of 30 something pages about a sick child. now THAT would be beating a dead horse...there's only so many ways you can say congratulations on recovery, you know? but by all means, feel free.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Kirsten, it's not upsetting anyone that you come here to vent about your depression and your struggles in daily life.

It's upsetting that you seem to dwell on it, you get upset if there is sillyness around. Not everyone's in your situation, and not everyone knows how it feels to deal with cancer, a sick child, separation, depression... but not everyone will throw a pity party and focus only on that, either... there are other things in life, life does go on... and as upsetting as it is that not everyone is always knowing how you feel... you can't expect everyone to only ever talk about the depressing stuff.

If you can't laugh at sillyness, then when are you ever happy? You have to find some humor in the dumb stuff... because you're always going to be sad. I've bene through the depression stuff. Sure, not as badly as you've been through it... but I've been through it... and there are days that were really awful... but if I dwelled on that all the time, instead of being happy with the positive... then I was a cranky sour old bat the rest of the day, and to everyone around me. Eventually ppl stopped calling me because I was such a drag to be around with allm y negativity... i smartened up and started seeing the good in things... and my life settled back down. I was off this site for a year or so because of it... things in my life were pretty bad... but I made my peace with it..accepted it... and didn't dwell on it... and i'm a much happier person for not having let it control my life.

I'm sorry if this offends you...I'm not trying to be mean... but you've asked before why ppl don't always respond to your posts... and you've voiced being offended that sometimes you don't get as many responses as other threads... well, ppl don't always like only ever hearing about negative stuff. Try posting happy things too, you might get a better response than always being on the down side of things.

lisar replied: We are all so very proud of Spencer and his accomplishment of beating the cancer. We were all right there with you. Everyone was praying for him to recover.

As for the placenta thread, sometimes its nice to have a place to "goof" off and not think about all the other things in life that are bothering us.

And for the debates: I learn ALOT from the debates. I learn how other people think, and new things that I never thought of before. On all topics.

I am not offended by your post at all. I understand your either having a bad day, or just needed to vent something you felt was important. Which is what we all do here and what we are all here for.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied:
ditto

Crystalina replied: I didn't realize that it was a popularity contest to see who could get more responses to their thread. I may be taking it the wrong way but it seems like that is a bit of the problem. If there are so many members who detest the "P" thread then maybe it should be locked and deleted forever and should sink into the Parenting Club pit of locked and deleted forever threads but I think it's wrong to complain so much about a thread just because you show no interest in it, never showed interested or got tired of it. It would only take a mod a second to do away with it but if it weren't that thread it would be another one. Since when can one member dictate to another what they should or should not show interest in posting about?

And about the debating, I think this board is far from viscious in it's debating. The debates on this board are cotton candy powder puff debates. The debates here lack so many things to make a nasty debate.

I come here for diversity. If it were nothing but hum-drum posting about sick children, recalls and the latest "cutesie-wootsie" thing our kids did it would bore me to death. I like that I can hop to one thread to see someones pics, hop to another one to find out about vax's , read about someone's landlord,dh and other problems in one thread and then goof on in another. All without leaving the site. There are forums for specific issues all over the net and if I wanted to deal with only one issue then I would find a forum that suited me and made me feel comfortable.

Cece00 replied:
I agree. I go to some other boards & sometimes I kinda chuckle when they think its getting out of hand on here b/c its MILD here compared to other places.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
lol

I keep thinking "glooey ewwie" like viscous liquid... lol

Sorry, not making fun of your spelling of vicious. Much.

Can't help it!!

Cece00 replied:
? I didnt misspell anything. Do you mean Crystalina?

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Good point!

I have to agree that I was getting tired of the PS thread. And I went ahead and posted in there that I thought one in particular comment "wasn't funny anymore", but I believe it was edited. Thanks to whomever did that. And then I let it go and decided not to open it anymore. To me, that's my choice here, read or don't read. Open at your own risk. The debates really don't bother me unless people are ganging up on one person. Of course there are more important things to dicuss than PS, but maybe some people DO find it more important, who knows, I don't really care. It's all what you're into I guess or maybe just what you're into for the day. Again, I just move around it if I don't want to participate.

Kirstin, I know I don't always get to every post because I just don't have the time. And if I happen to not reply to your post, please don't take it personally. Your life and Spencer's, is very important to us all here. We care about you and are here to listen, but we also have our own lives to live and PC is a place to "escape" sometimes, at least it is for me. If I took whatever I read on the net literally, I would be one unhappy person. And although I do love the support here, nothing compares to people IRL...sorry guys, just the truth.

kimberley replied: Kirsten, i am sorry you are hurt. and i am so glad Spencer is doing so well!

i really think we could all use a little more empathy here. if you don't understand what Kirsten is going through or find her posts "depressing"... you have the same option i took with that endless placenta thread.. don't read it. but when someone is reaching out for hugs or support, why does it always seem to turn to very brash comments or a debate lately???? is it too boring to just leave a hug or some show of support?

i really haven't posted a lot in months for this exact reason and know that i am not the only one who feels this way. i realize when a board grows to the size we have now that things will become a bit impersonal but does it have to be completely cold??

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Ooops! yes.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I'm personally not trying to be cold. Just responding to being told that I'm basically an idiot for posting about stuff other than this. I'm very sorry that there are sick children in this world. It does hurt, to think that someone I "know" is going through a rough time.

But to sit here and be told that I (among others) am sad because i'm posting about other things, that seem trivial, is hugely insulting... and this is why I don't usually open these posts. I'm not a fan of being told I suck for not showing enough empathy, just because I take a lighter approach to life rather than be down all the time.

I'm sorry... but like I said...not trying to be cold. I'm just going to be sad and go debate on another thread somewhere, because that doesn't make my heart ache. I have enough of that in real life. Becuase I can use a smile and a bit of humor, not be told I'm sad for not offering more than I can give of love and support.

Hey if I don't like it, i don't read it... I took a chance and read it..and what do you know.. I get blasted for trying to care.

Calimama replied:

IMO this board deserves a LOT more credit than that. There's rarely a day that goes by that I don't get a PM from someone asking me how DH is doing, telling us they are praying for DH to come home safely, or asking if they can send care packages. People that have never met me are willing to take time out of their day to let me know they care and to me that is the farthest thing from "cold".

jem0622 replied: I am sorry that you are not in a good place right now. I have been depressed, or just flat out sad, more than one time.

I have to admit, I was pretty astonished at the size of one thread. But, as with any topic...you can ignore it or just not post if you don't have anything to say, or feel like you don't have anything to say that is helpful, useful, or kind.

I used to feel like I had to respond to every thread. That no longer applies to me.

I read so many sad stories in the news every day, and just wonder what is wrong with people. I can't watch the news with the kids (unless it is a weather report). Isn't that sad?

I have to be careful about the sad stories like you mentioned. After losing a sibling to cancer, a grandmother to cancer, a boyfriend to cancer...and countless other friends...it can really make me sad.

HUGS

Crystalina replied:
I will have to agree with this. PC is far from a cold board. People do listen. I get asked questions in pms that I have to actually remember if I ever mentioned it in the first place. I mention something not thinking much about it and other members remember it. I don't have such a good memory most of the time so I can't always say I do the same.

And I think if I would have responded to this post with a then it would have been like I never even read the OP. Yes, she wants and needs a hug but there was more to the post then that. She asked questions and as someone who regularly posts in a particular thread she mentioned I thought it would be find to respond.

Crystalina replied:
Yes, it was my horrible spelling.

MotherForever2043 replied: I don't even know/remember when the whole Placenta Smoothie thing started. The topic didn't and still doesn't interest me. And I don't want to be a part of it, so I just ignore it and pay attention to the threads that interest me.

Mommy2BAK replied: Kirsten, I am terribly sorry that you are going through such a rough time, and I am so proud to hear of Spencer's accomplishments.
BUT~ like someone else already said.... where in the world else are we going to be able to discuss placenta smooties? Sometimes we just need some useless convo that has nothing to do with major issues bringing us down.