Depression

Danalana wrote: I just need to get this out somewhere.
I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, but I function pretty well despite that. Right before I got pregnant the first time, I was put on Lexapro, but we changed to prozac. I stopped taking it when I found out I was pregnant. Even though I lost the baby, I decided not to take it because we could be pregnant at any time. I have been pretty okay for most of the pregnancy, because I am SO happy about it. Unfortunately, things kind of sneaked up on me the last 2 or 3 weeks, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I know there are drugs I can take when pregnant that are safe for the baby, and I am seriously leaning toward that. I mean, I don't wanna have an open door here for PPD. My therapist pretty much disappeared on me after she opened up her eating disorders clinic, so I don't know who to go to. I hate these dark feelings, especially at a time when I should be the happiest I really am very happy, but it's clouded over by these feelings of loneliness and...I don't know, but it stinks.
Anyway, not sure what I'm looking for here. I just wanted to share it with somebody.

Calimama replied: I would talk to your OB asap. I'm sorry hun, I wish had the magical words to make it all go away. Just know we are here for you.

CantWait replied: Dana, I've been there, and once you have your baby, you don't want to be going through these feelings of being lost and alone. Talk to your doctor now. You're far enough in your pregnancy where risk for drugs is so MINIMAL. As I'm sure you're aware, this is nothing to play around with.

Danalana replied: I definitely don't wanna play around with it. I have waited for this baby all my life, and I need to be "okay" when he comes. I'm planning to ask my OB about it...I guess I just have so much pride when it comes to this. I HATED the idea of taking anything, right from the start. But it would appear that I need something. I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday...

Bamamom replied: Girl don't feel about about doing what you need to do to be healthy. This is no different than getting a cast for a broken leg or taking Prilosec for heartburn - you've got to take care of YOU so that you can take care of that little one. Talk to your OB Tuesday and know that we are all here for you if you need to talk.

Danalana replied: We were going out to eat earlier...it was just starting to get dark, and I felt so peaceful. The idea of driving into the darkness and staying there was so comforting, you know? Kinda like staying in bed, buried beneath the covers...

gr33n3y3z replied:
You tried sweetie and now ask for the help if you feel you need it hun
please dont wait

MoonMama replied: Oh honey, please talk to your doctor. And know I am here if you need to talk, you know you can call me anytime.

My3LilMonkeys replied:

BabyOwen427 replied: I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It's understandable why you'd have any depression. PPD is awful to go though, but with your history of depression there is a fairly good chance that you'll get some ppd. What I think the thing to do is not to stress about trying not to get it, but to realize that it is possible that you will and that's okay. Having a baby releases some increadable emotions and depression is one of those.

You need to seek help. If pills work for you then that's great. Talk with your doc, he'll know how they effect the baby and be able to inform you accordingly.
When I had ppd (I still do) what helps me is to talk about it. To get it out. I talk to my hubby. I have a kind of diary on Word. And I can hide it in my computer if I don't want anyone to read it.

I wish you the best. Always know that we are all here to help you out as much as you need. Make sure you get some help with this. And don't worry so much about what others think about you or what you 'should' be feeling.

Insanemomof3 replied: Please talk to your OB. Get the help you need, we are always here to listen though.

DillsMommy replied: Like everyone else has already said--please talk to your doctor. There is stuff out there that you can take. It's so important for you to be healthy and happy right now for you and baby. I know how you feel. If you need someone to talk to--I'm here.

lovemy2 replied: I agrere with everyone else - spend your time now talking to your doctor to find a way to keep you happy and healthy for your sake and the sake of your son - once you become a parent which you do the moment conception happens, pride has to take a back seat - you do what you have to do not matter what it takes to ensure your children are happy and healthy - you are doing a great job just by admitting something isn't right - now lean on others and get the help you need - we are all here for you for everything you need

A&A'smommy replied: call the nurse and talk to her at our office and ask about what you should do, they might want you to go in OR they might go ahead and prescribe you something....

jcc64 replied: Hi hon-
BTDT during pg and beyond. I tried to go cold turkey during my last pg, and in the 5 or 6 month, my ob practically insisted that I go back on my meds. My blood pressure was up, I wasn't sleeping- I was a complete mess. I acknowledge that hormones are a HUGE part of my problem, and what is pg but one big hormone festival?! Being completely drug free is the ideal in pg, but alot of people cannot and should not live up to that standard if they have serious underlying medical problems= and depression definitely qualifies as one. I took paxil with Corey, was told to wean off of it for the 9 month b/c it has withdrawl complications, and went back on about 2 months post partum. Paxil is no longer recommended for use during pg, but there are other very effective anti-depressants that have been studied and declared compatible with pg. Find a good psychiatrist who has experience treating pg women, and make sure he/she makes some connection with your ob.
There's no shame in this Dana. You're not tainting the happiness of this blessed event. You can be thrilled about the baby and still be depressed at the same time. There's more to you than just this pg- and you need to be healthy, secure, and ready for the big changes coming in your life. Do what you need to do, and don't apologize for it. It's ok, really. The only thing that wouldn't be ok is if you allow depression to swallow you whole and overshadow one of the biggest events in your life.

Danalana replied: Thanks girls. I appreciate your support very much. I think the thing that bothers me most is that I feel like I shouldn't be sad. I mean, my dream is coming true! Loneliness is such a huge part of it. I don't have anybody to just share stuff with. I have a really great friend here, but she never has time to communicate. I see her twice a week at church, and we have had a few times that we went out shopping or to eat....but it's so sporadic, you know? I don't know what my deal is, but I REALLY need somebody to share girl stuff with. My husband isn't too good with that.
ANYWAY, I will ask my OB on Tuesday. Or maybe I will call, like you suggested, Jessica. I hate the idea of even bringing it up, but I know I have to.
Thanks again.

Jackie012007 replied: I have BPD and Anxiety - I went without meds during my pregnancy, and I majorly regret it. Often if the risk isn't great, they will have you go on meds because if you aren't happy, baby isn't happy! I'm thinking Lexapro is too strong (I'm on it too) but I do know they prescribe Zoloft for pregnant and nursing moms. I so wish I had gone on something, I was so miserable and never got to enjoy my pregnancy. Definitely address this, and enjoy what little time you have left, being pregnant!

Danalana replied:
I hate feeling this way...

alice&arik replied: I have severe depression also. I am not sure what my diagnosis is. I have had it for a few years. I started on Zoloft and maxed out on that so I switched to Effexor and maxed out on that too. Now I started Celexa. My doc says the pros outway the cons when it comes to safety, and the depression needs to be treated. I go to therapy weekly, but the drama never ends in my life so it is hard to focus on the positives when there aren't a whole lot at the moment.

You should get treated or it will get worse. Hope things get better for you.

Danalana replied: I was in therapy, off and on, for a year and a half. But then my therapist disappeared, and I haven't heard a word from her since May. As far as anti-depressants, I didn't take anything long enough for it to get into my system, so I don't really know anything different than this.

A&A'smommy replied: have you called them yet??

Danalana replied: I did call...I couldn't remember what time my appt was. It's at 9. I decided I would wait and ask tomorrow. I'm just not sure what to say.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I would talk to you OB about how you are feeling. He could either prescribe something to help you or refer you to a doctor that could help you! I would wait either and doctors are pretty understanding now about Depression and PPD. I hope things get better for you, I know how you are feeling and you are doing the right thing by talking about it!