Depressing...:(

KatieLeigh79 wrote: I got up at 4:45 this morning, realizing that my son is already going to be 1 tomorrow, its been almost 365 days I have had him in my life, and I have gotten no where - It seems he's already getting to big to fast, and i'm failing as a mother - nothing gets done anymore, he still doesn't eat or drink like he should and I get little to no support or even am given the idea I do things like I should.. so what do i do? Go in his bedroom and scoop him and his blanket up (still sleeping) and rock him until he gets up at 6am) telling him what im sorry for and what I think about life in general.... is it possible to go through a midlife crisis before 25?


granted we have his 1 year old pictures today at 11:30 so I need to cheer up or else he won't be a happy monkey for the camera when we get there in a few hours.....

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Don't be so hard on yourself! You are a good mother, raising an infant is a hard job and it may seem like you have done nothing, but you have! He is growing and thriving, smiling and laughing. At a year old babies don't eat or drink a lot! Please try to cheer up and charish this day with your little boy!

bellymonstersmama replied: A good mother is someone who despite her own fears, or sadness, puts those feelings aside or "cheers up" for the sake of her son.
A good mother is one who is concerned about what is best for her son.
I don't think it sounds to me like you have failed at all!

kimberley replied: awww i agree, don't be so hard on yourself! having a baby is hard especially when you don't have a support system to lean on. i think the fact that you show concern about these things proves what a good mom you are. i am on my third child and still have no clue what i am doing half the time because every kid is so different. both the boys were eating solids by 4-5 mos and now i have Jade who refuses to eat anything and is basically just bf at almost 9 mos old. we are here for you whenever you need. i hope the pics go well today.

Mommy2M replied: I agree also!!! If you weret a great mom, you wouldnt CARE if you have done things right! It is very hard when you dont have help also. I dont know you but just from your post here i can see how much of a wonderful loving mother you are! You are beating yourself up for no reason!!! Your doing a great job!!!!
You can tell you are doing everything the right way by how happy your little monkey is!!!!

A&A'smommy replied: Oh honey, your a great mom! Its REALLY hard being a mother, we have SO much to do its extremely exhausting and sometimes it may feel like you didn't get anywhere with your little man but that isn't true your his mommy he needs you, and loves you and always will THAT is something!

amynicole21 replied: I'm so sorry you're having doubts about your mothering ability, but I can assure you that you are doing a wonderful job! You love your son, you are concerned about his best interests, you do everything you can to make sure he is happy and healthy. I'd say you are a wonderful mother. I think I remember having similar feelings around Sophia's 1st bday. I wrote her a letter, which I plan to do every year on her bday, and I clearly remember breaking down and crying Hang in there, sweetie. One day you'll realize you've raised a happy, healthy and self-confidant little boy.

CantWait replied: Don't be so hard on yourself. You've always done what's best for J.R. ITA with the others. He's a happy, thriving and BIG boy. Looks pretty healthy to me. Just keep doing what you're doing, you're doing GREAT
Good luck with his pics, post them when ya can.

Boys r us replied: Awe!! It sounds like to e that you're a wonderful mommy!!! I think you're probably just dealing with a case of jumbled emotions because your baby is turning one! I think it happens to all of us!!!

jem0622 replied: The first birthday is a doozy. But so are all the other birthdays. I'm finding that Nathan nearing the big '5' is making me emotional b/c my baby is going to kindergarten next fall. I will be a blubbering mess!

We always second guess ourselves as parents. It is totally normal. They don't come with directions. You do what you feel is best for him as his mother and let the criticism or disagreeing comments from others just roll off your back. Everyone is going to have something to say. Trust me.

HUGS

Your post about sweeping him up and holding him until he woke up reminded me of "Love You Forever". Have you ever read it? A tear jerker!

Elle replied: I agree with all the ladies here! Don't feel bad, if you were such a terrible mother you wouldn't be here, and your baby wouldn't be healthy and happy as he is!

DansMom replied: We all have those times when we feel inadequate. I can testify that it doesn't get easier to keep the house clean and such, but you will learn to accept that you just can't do everything. It's not possible. Just remember how important you are to that family---you are a central, important person. You're allowed to have good days and bad days. Don't be so hard on yourself!! It's such a demanding role and being good at it most of the time is good enough.

Having no support is tough---especially when people who should be supporting you try to make you feel like you're not making the right choices. I think it may be that you're letting the doubts of others affect you. If your child is thriving and healthy, and the pediatrician agrees, then your instincts and efforts must be good.

So many babies and toddlers have food issues. I can't tell you how many mommies I talk to tell me that their little one "eats almost nothing", and Daniel is like this too. I know that these food issues are what really make me feel frustrated and inadequate sometimes, because I feel that it's my most basic job to nourish him and make sure that he can grow and be smart and healthy. I have cried and gotten angry over his not eating at times, but that didn't make him want to eat, so it really just made things worse. Mommy milk is good, and unless there is a physical problem, he will eat when he's hungry enough. Just try different foods that you feel comfortable offering, and if he doesn't want them at that moment, and he's smiling and happy and gaining weight, then really there is no point in worrying.

I can identify with your 4:30 am cuddling session---I've done that. When I have insomnia I lay nose to nose with Daniel and just breathe in his breath and his overall baby smell. It's a mommy thing! You are doing a wonderful job.

kimberley replied:
that was the hardest thing for me to accept when i first became a mom. i put so much pressure on myself with unrealistic expectations of being the perfect mom and i had 2 babies (18mos apart) and a slob of an ex to contend with. once you learn to accept the fact that you can't do it all (and that is okay), you will be a happier person and more relaxed mom. now, i would rather have a bit of a mess and have happy kids and my sanity than have an immaculate house and be completely stressed all the time.

well said, Tracy.

KatieLeigh79 replied: *Big Hugs* Thanks everyone for such wonderful advice, yesterday for his birthday I decided to let the house go to heck, and just enjoyed the day with him, I will try to get his first b-day pictures scanned tonight or tomorrow (mother in law is just now leaving tomorrow after her surprise apperance *grumble*) But I stayed unstressed through his pictures and he smiled so well for every one i had to get a shot of each pose, granted Sears loved me! *lol* Well no-longer is he my "baby, baby" just my "baby" (make sense) But he is getting such a personality now I wonder where the time has went - even with all the problems we had the first 9-10 months.... Everyone here is so sweet and loving, well back to trying to clean up and thankyou notes for relatives for his gifts...


THANKS AGAIN

My2Beauties replied: Sorry I didn't get a chance to give any advice the other day, I can only post at work since I'm behind the times and don't have the internet at home.

Don't second guess yourself or doubt yourself, you're a wonderful mommy and wouldn't have these feelings if you weren't. I can identify with you because lately I have been really depressed, really for no reason. I have been hateful to my loved ones, I feel as if I am the only person who can take care of Hanna right, I just become like Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde to people!!! So I am sorry you are going through these things! It'll pass and you'll realize you are doing your best and you have a healthy happy baby boy!!!! Cheer up!