DH is such a butthead...

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: he's such a gorilla when it comes to punishing the kids. He'll be fine one second, then go all wonky onthem... he'll rush at them, growling... he's SUCH in IDIOT.



It scares the crap out of the kids, especially EMilie....then *I* get stuck with the consolling.

I was in the bath... and Emilie came out of her room (she's a little bit constipated I think) and had to go for a poo.... he got angry at her for coming out of her room, first off, then didn't want to take her to the bathroom....so he brings her to the bathroom, and tells her that *mommy will put her on the toilet*

Hello I'm in the bath?!?!

so I yell at him to get back in there and put her on the toilet... his stupid COMPUTER GAME is PAUSED. It's not like it's tv or something where he could *miss* a good part....

So he shoves her on the toilet, yells at her to hurry up, then yanks her off and shoves her in her bed. She's crying.... and saying something, dunno what... he just keeps telling her no and yells at her, slams her bedroom door on his way out. So I get out of the bath, give him crap for being such an arse... anyways, like 5 minutes later, she comes out of her room again, crying, she needs to poo again. I was folding clothes, so DH gets up to go to her again, yelling like a maniac. Takes her to the washroom... so I go too, and I'mlooling in the doorway, in the mirror so I can see her.... DH SLAMS the door in my face, hit my forehead...so I kicked the door back at him, (reaction) and he yells at me that I had no business being there in the first place.... So i went back to my room to fold the rest of my clothes, and to check in my forehead was going to be bruised...

He shoves her back in her bed, slams her door again - she's really crying now...and then he has the NERVE to leave the appartment. He's got a security check to do every night... but he just LEFT. He didn't bother to get her the juice she asked for or anything. He didn't slam the front door though.... so I did. I opened it, said <here, I'll do it for you...> and I slammed it.

I went to go see Emilie, and all she wanted, other than the juice cup on her dresser, was for me to fix her movie.... Blues Clues DVD was frozen, so I just re-started it.

He SOOO ticks me off sometimes.... and I've been doing so well for the last couple days... not yelling, cursing, going off on nothing.... what a dork.

MyLuvBugs replied: Oh rocky that sucks. I'm sorry. Men can be real @@#$#@%# sometimes. Is Emilie ok? Are you ok?

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Oh yeah, we're fine. He's not abusive or anything.... he's just rougher than he should be. He doesn't always realize it, but STILL.

I tell him that kids often <forget> warnings and such... and so if he warns them, and 10 minutes later they're acting up again, it's not to tick us off, it's because they're 2 and 3 years old, and FORGOT. But he'll barge into their rooms and yell at them to be quiet, it's bedtime.... totally scares them.

Once I went into Em's room after he left, she was fine. Didn't hear another peep out of her....she just wanted her BoozeCooze

amynicole21 replied: I've found myself acting like this sometimes Like this morning when Sophia wouldn't stop whining and I lost my temper. Then I feel all guilty and overcompensate later I think you might want to remind DH that when he gets really worked up, perhaps Daddy needs a time-out too? Time to regroup and calm down before he loses it? Sometimes I'll just walk away and hide in the bathroom for a few minutes when I need to

luvbug00 replied: Sorry you had such a rough night I hope he's going to be nicer today!

JAYMESMOM replied: Men just don't think sometimes. Jim gets that way with Nick sometimes and it drives me nuts. I am glad that eveyrone is okay and she got to watch her Blue's Clues.

Hope today is better!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: oy somedays us adults need a time out. Its been sooo long since Kait has thrown a fit at bed time and she did last ngiht but i kept my cool and worked through it, course she might not had had the fit if she has listend and asked instead of whinning

to both of you

TANNER'S MOM replied: Wow, I am sorry.

And My Dh can get ruff too. But the first time he bops one of my kids in the head.. he is getting it right back..

My rule is bust there butt if they need it.. but DONT go above the butt..lol

And I hope your bruise on your noggin gets better!

jcc64 replied: I realize we're only human as parents, but it's important to model self control if we expect the same behaviour out of our kids. I suggest the next time you notice that dh seems unable to contain himself that you interrupt whatever it is you are doing and run interference until he calms down. Annoying, I know, but a better alternative than letting him "vent" (inappropriately,imo) on your kids.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Oh I know... I try to go and <relieve him> when he gets this way... but he thinks it's a good way to calm them down. NOT!!!!!!!!!

It just really bugs me. It's almost like he thinks it's funny.... cuz after he goes and yellsa t them, he'll come back out into the living room and act as if nothing happened. He's usually the patient one when I get angry easily... but I don't *scare* my kids into listening.

He got that I was really mad though.... he was really gentle with Emilie this morning.... he gave HER a foot rub this morning... she loved it and cuddled with him.... but still. I lose it sometimes... but I don't lose it as in lose it to hurt the kids. I don't think he's hurt them though....cuz if he did, he knows he'll get it worse. I was very strictly disciplined by my dad when I was young. Belts, spatulas, you name it, it went across my butt.... and I was a very quiet child... I guess you could call it abuse. I was also <abused> by my ex.... really bad relationship - and DH knows more than anybody that I am more than willing to throw more than a punch if I feel threatened.... I went after someone last year (self-defense) who'd been harrassing me and my kids for a while, and who found his way into our house one night when we were sleeping.

I'll yell, stomp, curse... but I don't hit my kids out of anger. A smack here and there on the hand if I've repeated and warned them, but I won't <hit> them. Ever, and I won't ever tolerate anyone else doing it either. But as much as *I* can yell...it still really bugs me when someone else does it....specially when I know it scares them. It don't scare them when I yell, cuz I do it all the time... they laugh at me.

jcc64 replied: One other thing, though. And I may be extraordinarily sensitive to this issue b/c I have a kid who happens to have "poopy issues". Dh should make a concerted effort to keep things calm where toilet issues are concerned. You mentioned some of this occurring around dd having to go potty- in the sometimes convoluted logic of a toddler- she may associate Daddy's anger with poopy and start holding it in out of fear. Trust me, you don't want that.

kimberley replied: sorry he did that Rocky . ITA with Jeanne. i go through the same thing here with DH and it is extremely frustrating to have to deal with everything while pg, but it is for the best in the long run. hang in there and PM if you ever need to talk.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Same here. I'm with the kids all day and towards the end of the day I swear I'm a raving lunatic. DH thinks I'm nutso. They whine and want and cry for something ALL DAY. It gets kind of old. Not everyday is like this, but most days, yes. I need a SERIOUS BREAK!

I'm like you....my kids are used to me yelling and they pay no attention to me, but if Scotty raises his voice I don't like it one bit.

A&A'smommy replied:
me too this week was bad for me I was over emotional in pain and mean as you know what!!! Poor ALyssa... I feel SOO bad too last night I held her and played with her because I felt a little better and really guilty!!

Rocky I know how you feel and I think most of us do!!

My2Beauties replied: I can see how as parents we can lose our sanity at times and want to scream and yell to get our point across - who doesn't do this from time to time. But your DH was just a little too rough IMHO! Next time this happens, I'm with Jeanne just step in and take control of the situation so that the kids do not see his temper! Sorry about your forehead!