DH hurt my feelings so bad you guys - I won't ever forget it neither

My2Beauties wrote: OK so he left today and this weekend was awful. I hate it that it went so bad. We all got together (like 20-30 of us) to throw him a suprise Congratulations party on Friday night. We tricked him into thinking it was guys night out and everybody was in on it. We had it at this really nice club downtown that he likes and well let's just put it this way, DH hates surprises. He seen all of us and threw his hands in the air and walked to the bathroom and stayed gone for like 5 minutes. I was so upset, then when he came back he said I don't know why you did this you act like I'm leaving forever, I said it's not because you're leaving it's because we're proud of you and want to with you Good Luck! Everybody's feelings were really hurt and he showed his butt so bad. He made me and my friend Bridgit cry because we did everything for it. She had this big banner made (she works for a printing company) and it said Good Luck Brian and it had a train on it with Spongebob (he loves Spongebob) in front of it and it was so cute and he goes OMG take that stupid banner down I don't want everyone knowing blah blah blah, he just went off and made a butt of himself basically! He finally realized what he had done and tried to apologize but it was way toooooooooo late for that. I wanted to leave I was so humiliated. I felt so stupid for doing it and him not even liking it. I tried to do something nice and he really shot me down. Later on that night we went up this card game that his mom plays at every Friday and there are a bunch of older women up there that just love Brian. Well we go in there and he starts getting cocky about what he did again telling everybody what he did and how he didn't care he hates surprises - all over again! I was soooo HURT! They all badmouthed him to say the least and told him he should be ashamed of himself for acting the way he did. We got home and got in this huge argument I made him sleep on the couch, I didn't even want to see his face. He told me he didn't appreciate the gesture or anything and that I ruined his night!

The next morning when I got up of course it was a totally different story, he tried to kiss my butt all day long! He apologized a million times. He said that he was sorry and that he did appreciate everyone being there for him and stuff it just threw him way off guard and he ain't one for surprises. He said that he was really sorry and he feels so bad for what he done. Everyone is so mad at him right now, what a way to leave town for 5 weeks!!!!!!! He gets to come home on the weekends so hopefully he can get out and see people and redeem himself. I don't know what to think about the way he acted, I am still upset. I will never forget this, he hurt my feelings so bad! He took me out to eat last night and stuff and told me how much he loved me and how sorry he was again. I forgave him of course noly because he is leaving today and I hate for someone to leave and we be mad at each other I just hate that. I just wanted to vent guys, thanks for listening, I had to tell someone. Do you guys think I overreacted and made too big a deal out of it? I don't think I did, none of my friends do, but they're all like me, so I just wanted other opinions. It'll probably take me a while to wholeheartedly forgive him for this one, it was one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. Really, I put my all into this party to try to make it so nice and there were so many people there to show support for him and it all just blew up in my face

luvbug00 replied: I'm sorry!! That was a very sweet thing you did for him!! It's too bad he didn't see it until the damage was done!

kimberley replied: oh honey, you are not overreacting at all! his behavior was disgraceful and i am so sorry he did that to you vent all you need. we are here to listen

zdk753 replied: I don't think you overreacted at all. I would have felt the same way. Regardless if he liked surprises or not his behaivor was unexcusable. He should have been glad that you & everyone there took the time & effort just for him.

mammag replied: You are not overreacting at all! That was just incredibly mean of him. If he had a problem with it the least he could have done was to act happy and discuss it with you later. That is just ridiculous!

It was really nice what you did for him and he is a fool for not seeing that.

Vent all you want!

A&A'smommy replied: I can't believe he acted that way that was SOO awful you poor thing!!! ((((((BIG HUGS))))) I hope when he gets back that he will make it up to everyone and realize what a jerk he was!!!!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am so sorry that he acted that way!!! No you are NOT overreacting! I would have made him sleep somewhere else,like a hotel, not just on the couch! That was really sweet of you to show him that much support and I am very sorry that you got your feelings hurt!!!!

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm sorry he acted that way! He should have appreciated that you were trying to do a nice thing for him - no matter that he doesn't like surprises. I'm sure it's no fun sending him off after a big fight either. I hope it gets better soon and you have a good weekend together when he comes back.

MM'sMama replied: Oh honey I am so sorry he acted like that. You did not overreact at all I would have been hurt. You did a wonderful and very sweet thing for him and its too bad he didn't see this untill it was too late. Maybe he was jsut upset about leaving and didn't want to admit this just a thought. But I'm sorry her acted this way big hugs hon.

Boys r us replied: Ohhh baby girl you are NOT overreacting! That was such a sweet thing you did for him! Perhaps he is feeling really overwhelmed by this new position and afraid he won't succeed..so having the celebration for it just intensified that pressure. Guys aren't ones to share feelings like that, so it's very possible that it just really caught him off gaurd and was a bit unsetting for his already shook up nerves. But how would you know..I think he was definitely out of line with his behavior..sounds like the little boy in him shined through

gr33n3y3z replied: I agree with everyone


But Nichole I think hit the nail on the head

mommy_loves_chase replied: I dont think you over reacted at all If didn't like it he should of if anything pulled you aside and told you he wasn't into surprises and even then thanked you for all the effort you put into it! and you acted a lot better then me my Boyfriend would have been sleeping on in the car!!

3xsthefun replied: I'm so sorry he hurt your feelings. And no I don't think your overreacting.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I would be so upset if I were you. I don't blame you at all for being upset with him. He really could have played nice. That was completely unfair and bratty of him.

coasterqueen replied: I think Nichole hit the head on the nail too . I bet more than anything he just felt like making a big deal of it puts more pressure on him to do well and succeed. So I'm sure he didn't mean no harm, but it still hurt your feelings and that was wrong.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I agree with Nichole! I can remember several times when my DH got a new job and how overwhelmed he felt. He too is totally afraid of failure. So the bigger deal people made of it, the more scary it became for him. And our relationship always sorta suffered during that time.

I'm afraid some men tend to show their aggresive boyish side when they feel the pressure. It's pretty immature. I admit to being sorta the same way...I unfortunately lash out at my DH when I'm stressed. But not in front of friends!

Glad he apologized. Your feelings are very valid IMO.

JessC replied: What a bummer!! I do not think you are overeacting at all!!

Hopefully he will get over it!

My2Beauties replied: Thanks for all the kind words you guys, a couple of my family members said the same thing Nichole said too, he is just stressed from the pressure and scared of failing. I have talked to him several times today, today is his first day of training and he said so far so good. I'm just going to hope that was the reason why and try to put this behind us, I know I will never throw him another surprise party though! Which sucks because I like that sort of stuff! I'll get over it through this week, I was already missing him last night so everything he did this weekend will just be in the back of my mind once this week is over because I'll miss him so bad! You guys have made me feel better because it validated my feelings, but you also helped me try to think of other reasons why he may have acted silly! Thanks for always being there !!

MissyKay2005 replied: I am so sorry that it turned out that way. You did not over react at all hun! You have every right to be upset. He was childish in what he did. But he said he was sorry and hopefully he truly means it and you guys can move on from this. You know now to not throw him any more surprises that's for sure! I hope everything works out for you two

booey2 replied: I am just reading this now. Sorry he reacted as he did. You guys sound like DH and myself. (gonna start a new thread don't wanna highjack this one).

Kaitlin'smom replied: I do agree with Nichole still does not excuse it

oh and you can throw me a suprise party

MommyToAshley replied: I am so sorry you got hurt. That was an incredibley sweet thing for you to do, and I don't think you over reacted at all.

I agree with Nicole and the others. While it may help you to understand why he acted this way, it was still incredibley rude to you and his friends. I hope he finds a way to apologize to all of you.