DH has a problem

CantWait wrote: DH works with a girl at work that is very very needy. She always needs to know that she's doing a good job, doing it right, always needs to be reassured about everything, etc....

and

she smells, really bad.

How would you deal with this? Can you say anything?

PrairieMom replied: smells like what?
could make a difference.
bad breath continuously offer mints and gum?

does she have a direct supervisor he could defer to?

luvmykids replied: Oh gosh, I can't think of one single nice way to tell someone something like that! I'd put in for a transfer

coasterqueen replied:

Boo&BugsMom replied: Are you or him sure she doesn't have a medical condition that makes her...um...smell? There are quite a few coniditons that prone people to sweat and stink. Perhaps this is why she needs the reassurance? If she knows she is a little "stinky", perhaps it throws her self-confidence off and this is why she needs to be told she's doing a good job. When someone has a poor self-image, it really brings out horrible social anxiety. I know it can be annoying, however, it really doesn't take much effort to tell someone they are doing a good job. I do have to admit, when I worked for the Chiropractor a year ago, at the end of my shift I was always told I did a great job. At least once a night I was told something positive. I know he always consciously made the effort to do that for his staff, but the words still were very much appreciated. More supervisors and bosses should really practice this. Positive words go a long way...this is coming from a person (me) who has always had self-confidence issues.

Calimama replied:
I agree.

I would just leave it alone to be honest.

boyohboyohboy replied: If he is her supervisor then maybe he should say something but if he is just a coworker then I think he should leave it alone.
I remember not to long ago this type of thing being on Oprah.and she said that you just have to say it, plain and simple..
but if its not his place or she isnt really around people then I would let it go..its going to be embarrassing.

Nina J replied: If she needs constant reassurance, buy her some perfume as a gift for doing such a good job

Honestly, I don't know. I wouldn't want to tell her, I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. Does you dh know someone who is close friends with her? Might be better coming from a close friend.

CantWait replied: Yes, dh is her supervisor, he has a lot of people that fall under him so gifts really aren't the way to go.

She smells of BO and bad breath, BO here is Russia is HUGE, and she is Russian.

As for the reassurance, she's in his office every 5 minutes so it's really becoming a pester. I understand the need to be told that the work you're doing a appreciated, but she's just very needy.

cameragirl21 replied: LOL, I was going to ask if she's Russian...Russians aren't exactly known for great hygiene and that is why so many of them have BO.
Idk if there is much you can do about the fact that she smells. But if I were her boss, I would tell her that if there is any problem with her work, I will let her know and that I appreciate her strong work ethic and desire to do well but her constant interruptions are keeping me from doing my job so she should assume all is well unless I tell her otherwise.
And leave it at that.

CantWait replied:
I was so worried I may have offended you with this, but it is something we have noticed and I had to say it.

cameragirl21 replied:
LOL, I am not a Russian, I am a Jew...believe it or not, that is how they look at nationality...my Soviet passport had me listed as Jew under nationality and so did the passport of any Jew who lived in the USSR.
My family is part of the diaspora and came to Russia but my roots are in the Middle East, not Slavic or Eastern European.
Anyway, reality doesn't offend me...it may disappoint but it won't offend.
And yeah, Russians have no problem stinking up the place, I'm well aware of that.

grapfruit replied:
And if I'm not mistaken, Jews, as a culture, typically are very clean. Lots of cleaning rituals and what not right? Which is part of why they were effected a little less during the plague years. They cleaned up their grain when it spilled (less of a rat problem) and washed a lot more (less germs). Which of course made the rest of the populous think that they CAUSED the plague

jcc64 replied: Not much you can do about someone with low self-esteem or lack of confidence, except to say something along the lines of, "Unless I tell you otherwise, assume you're doing a fine job. We don't need to discuss every move you make, etc..."
With regard to the odor problem idk, breathe through your mouth when she's around????

cameragirl21 replied:
that is true, that is why I stressed that I am not a Russian.

Mia33 replied: I'm not sure what I would do either. I guess I would not say anything and avoid getting near her when I can. Theres really no polite way to tell her...