Coming off Shelley's Super Nanny post - Do you raise your boys....

TANNER'S MOM wrote: To have utmost respect for women?

In my house I raise my boys to respect women..not as a lessor sex but as a beautiful softer sex. I do not allow my boys to hit their sisters no matter what.. I do not allow my boys to bow up to me at all. They are put in their place. They are taught that women are to be respected and yes Ma'am and No Ma'am to ladies.

My Dh makes sure this happens.. all the kids are taught by him.. you will respect your Momma. You won't talk to your Momma like that.

If my boys had acted that way to any woman as the 5 yr old was.. It wouldn't have been good. I can't imagine letting it get that far!

I am a strong woman as our my daughters. I am infavor of equal rights for men and woman..but what's the harm in raising our sons to respect all the women in their life.. do I think it will harm some future movement NOPE! My boys are even taught their are some things you don't discuss in front of mixed company. Justin last week used a slang term for his private area..it wasn't a bad term nothing we don't hear everyday..but he was in trouble for saying it infront of his sisters.. Locker room talk is for that!

Am I way off and taking Women's Lib back a hundred years and raising young men who be good husbands and listen and respect their wife's thoughts and opionions??

luvmykids replied: I feel a lot like you do, I don't mind men being manly and macho but they'd better respect women. Colt is not allowed to hit his sisters either, even if they do it first and if it raises a generation of men with a "soft side" towards women then maybe we can cut down on rape and domestic violence.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Absolutely not, Mel! WTG for teaching your children (of both sexes) to treat and expect to be treated with respect.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Looking at it further, there were times when the woman was not considered the equal of men, for men to be taking into consideration the thoughts and opinions of women in more new generation than it was our GP's generation. I am middle ground when it comes to women's lib and equal rights, I am not overboard with it, but neither am I subservient.

b&bsmom replied: I am with you as well. I want my son to respect women and at the same time also see them as an equal. I was a tom boy growing up and always got along better with the boys than the girls so I was used to all that talk. However, last night at my bowling banquet, there is this guy on my team I really don't like, he got on the subject somehow that women are here to clean and cook. I was so angry If you know me that is the last thing you say to me. I didn't say anything we were at a banquet I just sat there and kept my mouth shut. The two older gentlemen sitting next to me said why are you to good to cook and clean and he was like no but I have a wife so she can do it and the other gentleman said I do most of the cleaning. It was nice to see two older gentlemen say that to him it shut him up and he was queit the rest of the night. I must say I bowl in a league that has mostly guys and only 3 women. I like it that way and I love picking on the guys as well as them picking on me, however this paticular guys has no respect for women or anyone else for that matter. I want my son to be respectful and someone that another mother would be proud to have her daughter know. Sorry got so long Hope that made sense

jcc64 replied: I think kids learn what they live. My boys see dh doing equal time with the cooking and cleaning- they see the way he treats me, and vice versa. He would never dare raise a hand to me- and we've NEVER raised a hand to any of our children either. To me, that gives us alot more credibility when impressing upon them that no conflicts should be resolved physically. I don't necessarily teach them that women are somehow different or more fragile or unable to handle occasional potty talk, b/c frankly around here, the girls speak as atrociously as the boys, if not more so. I do teach them to hold the door open for women and to show respect to their elders of either sex. I think it's all about mutual respect and constructive conflict resolution, but I don't think that's limited to inter-sex relationships. Just think of all the bar brawls that could be avoided if guys got the message that there are better ways to work things out than with your fists.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I hope I'll be able to raise my boy(s) up to respect women - I think you've done a great job Mel! I hope I can teach all my kids - boys and girls - to have respect for their elders too. It seems a lot of kids today are lacking in that area.

BAC'sMom replied: I am with you Mel- and Monica have you and I not talked about this.

I am raising my boys the same way to have respect for his elders and for women in general. There is no backtalk at my house or purposely hurting someone’s feelings. We have also taught our son to opens doors for people (male or female) and to take his hat off when he enters a building also. Manners, manners, manners are BIG at my house. And let me tell it’s wonderful to have another parent or teacher compliment of your children manners and respect for others. It makes me feel like I am doing and good job in raising productive members of society.

MamaJAM replied: I teach my boys to respect women -- opening doors giving up their seats, etc.
But most of the examples you give I'm teaching all of my kids. My girls aren't allowed to hit -- just as my boys aren't. Foul language and rude behavior (loud belching, etc) of any type is forbidden (DH and I don't curse....so we are teaching by example). All of my kids are taught to open doors for their elders....I will definately stress to the boys as they get older that they should hold doors for women -- but at this point in time it's respect for elders. Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir are part of all 5 of my kids vocabularies.
One thing we do intend to teach our children is 'traditional roles' for adults. I'm not saying that my girls should not get a 'higher education'...or that they would be unable to support themselves and their families -- I'm just saying that there are certain roles G-d intended for us to have....and I will be teaching those roles to my kids. As far as worrying about how the things I'm teaching my children will affect any future 'movements' -- don't get me started on my opinions on that type of thing.

Cece00 replied: I am raising my boys to respect women. My older two boys dad is not a huge respector of women, and I dont want them to grow up thinking they can treat girls like objects, etc. That is VERY important to me, I would prefer they be decent guys instead of scumbags.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I understand what you are saying about what you teach all the kids..and it is what all my kids learn. But I think I was raised from my father who held women to a higher standard of respect..and yes some of it was due to her gender. I am sure there are a lot of women who have a potty mouth..and I myself can cuss like a sailor...but if my boys are in a room full of women..they better know not to talk to like that. They might get by with it more..with boys but No tolerance around ladies.

I think maybe that is where I am coming from.. Women who act like ladies..need to be treated like ladies..

My daughters also respect their elders..and respect their father.

MamaJAM replied:
ITA -- I just wish more women acted like ladies.

Seriously...I know exactly what you are saying and I do agree with it. My father is a gentleman....as was my beloved grandfather. I remember one time I was out with my grandfather and he was holding the door for a woman who was behind us -- the 'lady' yelled at him saying how she was "perfectly capable of opening a door for herself" - etc. I was about 10 and just stood there with my mouth hanging open...I couldn't believe how rude she was.
Yes - women should be treated with respect by men....but women also need to accept respectful behavior.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I just wished it were not too late for many men, and knowing that while in the presence of women NOT to curse! Too many men nowadays are lackadaisical about where and when they curse, and it grates on my nerves.

CantWait replied: Yes, Robbie is being taught at a very young age to be a gentlemen. Holding doors open for ladies is a big thing. He's learning that he's got his place in the home and mommy isn't going to baby him and do it all for him. He does dishes, sorts and folds laundry, and his room is primarily his responsibility. My one wish for Robbie is that he grows up to be a romantic who believes in shivilry (sp?).

My2Beauties replied:

Not trying to start a debate here, but what roles might that be? I have a feeling but I'm just wondering.

MamaJAM replied:
I'm sure you're right in your guessing. I too would rather not start a debate -- especially not in someone else's thread....therefore I choose not to elaborate more than I already did on this topic.

redchief replied: It goes further than that in our 3 and 3 household. The boys were taught to respect and revere women, opening doors, holding chairs, taking coats and treating women as intellectual equals while allowing them to be feminine.

The girls were taught to graciously accept gentlemanly behavior and not act like one of the guys.

Lisa and I live this way and expect our children to live this way as well.