Check out this email from my dad
grapfruit wrote: DO NOT send anything to my wife by email phone or mail.
You have been asked before and have ignored the request.
My wife is taking this as harassment, please leave her alone.
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Keep in mind I ONLY call his cell phone and rarly at that. I usually wait for him to call me. The ONLY thing I've mailed recently is a Christmas card w/pictures in it. And I talked to him after he received that card and he said NOTHING about her.
I am not allowed over to his house, or able to call the house phone. I had sent my step sister a birthday card once (bad mistake) and she called the office I worked at using her former last name and said I had been harrassing her and tried to get me fired. I ended up having to make a police report and have the police call her and tell her to chill out. I'm not happy. So I guess I'll have to call my dad. 
luvmykids replied: OMG!   I'm sorry 
grapfruit replied: It's ok. I feel numb. Actually I go in waves. For like 30 sec I want to cry. Then I want to scream. Then I don't care. And then it cycles back. Should I care??
What should I do? Should I let myself get walked all over?? There's a chance it was from her and he knows nothing about it. Should I just ignore it and act like everything hunky dory? I don't know. Part of me wants to stand up and say "enoughs enough. I'm done getting treated like crap." But part of me is saying, "Don't push him, you know the decision he'll make".
What am I going to do when the day comes for me to get married? What do I do when we have kids??? I'm his ONLY child. He DOES make a 1/2 assed effort. Meaning he came over Christmas, he calls, he sees me on my birthday. Ect. He only lives an hour away, but sometimes it's like the next state over. Before we moved he was only like 30 min away. And I was so excited b/c I thought, "Ok, now's the chance to try and reconnect". We helped him move and then that was it. He told me she didn't want me to come over and call or anything.  What does a normal person do in this situation?!?
Oh, and for what it's worth, I asked why she hates me so much and his answer was "She says you were mean to her when you were younger" (I haven't really seen her since I was like 14 or 15, they've only been married about 3 years). Well go figure! She called my mom one of the worst names I can think of calling a woman. When I was like 10! Maybe even younger. I know that I didn't know what the name meant!! She's a psycho!!! She left me in at a Kroger when I was 12 in a DIRTY city (Springfield for all you here in OH) and I WALKED over a mile to a gas station by the interstate to wait for my mom who was over an hour away. I WAS 12 GUYS!! And I was mean to HER! It makes me want to scream!
And people wonder why I want to run away and never come back.
Mommy2Isabella replied: I used to have a crazy step-mom ... my dad finally put his foot down after 8 years ... I know how you feel!
grapfruit replied:
It's been about 19 years already....
mckayleesmom replied: Im sorry...but I wouldn't talk to my dad either if that was the case. Your dad needs to grow a few and stick up for you. That is rediculous.
Sorry he is letting this happen. One day he is going to wake up and realize that he missed out on his only childs life because of her.
Kaitlin'smom replied: wow sorry hun sounds like she wears the pants and is VERY controlling. I really dunno what to say. just some
amymom replied:
stella6979 replied:
I agree. I know he's your Dad but he obviously doesn't act like a Dad so why even bother? He's the one who'll be missing out and you should be able to live your life without worrying about him or his idiotic wife.
I just don't understand how any parent wouldn't put their child first. 
Danalana replied: Awww, Casey, I'm so sorry! I don't understand why she would consider any of that harrassment anyway 
I do understand, though. I have a story for you...
When I was about 14, my father and his girlfiend took me and her son on a camping trip. I knew she was  but I tried to make the best of it, since I never saw my father. WELL. He was the one who normally drank, sot hat wasn't surprising. But it turns out that she was drinking too...and taking valium. We were riding somewhere....it was a warm sunny day. paul (her son) rode in the back of the pick-up and I rode between her and my father. Apparently, this made her furious, and she got out. WHILE THE TRUCK WAS STILL MOVING. Later that night, my father had had enough, and he was going to take me home. She kept screaming and jumping on the hood, holding onto the part that's close to the windshield. He would go a little forward and then slam on the brakes, throwing her off. Then she would jump back on and we would do it all again. On the ride home, she let it be known that she didn't like me. It hurt me because she had no reason not to. Heck, I RARELY saw him, so it's not like I was taking up his time. They lived together, after all. Anyway, there's a psycho partner story.
I wish i had some good advice, but I don't. I did have him walk me down the aisle but only because I didn't want to hurt him. And he was married to someone different by then. If it had been the same situation, I don't know what I would have done.
If he isn't going to take up for you, I think you should cut your ties in some way. That doesn't mean you don't still love him, but you don't deserve to be treated that way. I hope this gets resolved...maybe she DID use his email without him knowing.
grapfruit replied:
Her name isn't Elizabeth by any chance is it?!? B/c that sounds EXACTALLY like her.
Tim thinks (of course he is supportive and will go w/whatever I want to do) that when (if) we ever get married, I shouldn't let him walk me down the aisle b/c he's not being a dad. He said as a man, your greatest moment in your life is when you walk your little girl down the aisle and to not let him will send a clear message. "You missed out".
I don't know. I'm torn. I actually really agree w/him. Part of me thinks he doesn't care, so why extend that honor.
Another "nice" thing she did. I was about 12 (I think this may of happened a little after the other incident). We were at a Columbus Clippers game (minor league baseball) and LeeAnn Rimes was singing after the game. I was a BIG fan at the time so I was REALLY excited.
Well they were playing a bunch of country music and we (her two kids and I) were boogying in our seats after the game. Steph (the oldest) said "hey lets go down there (closer to the field) and watch them set up the stage!" I told her to make sure it's ok and I was game for that (I was on the end furthest away from my dad and her mom). She came back and said "Ok lets go!" I asked again "Are you sure it's ok" "Oh yea, I asked".
So we went down there. After awhile we realized that if we went over to the other side of the entrance to the field we could see better, so again I said, "Do you think it's ok" "Oh yeah, no problem" so we went over there.
Well the youngest ran back up to the seats instead. So we're over there dancing and singing and having a good time (in plain view of our seats btw). And about 10 min later I see HER walking towards us very p-o'd and think to myself, "Well crap, I guess she didn't ask..."
So she grabs my arm and tells me it's all my fault b/c I'm the oldest and I should know better "blah blah blah". And that I can tell the security people that they "found" us.
So I tell the lady and she's like "Oh honey it's ok! (she was nice) Your mom was just worried I'm sure." And me (like the sassy pre-teen I was), "That's NOT my mother!"
She went off. In the freaking stadium surrounded by like 80K people (ok maybe not that many) SCREAMING at me (no exaggeration there). Calling me every name in the book and even making some up. People are staring at us, some laughing. My dad did NOTHING this entire time. Then she called him something. So he grabbed her keys and threw them out of the stadium (not near an exit or anything). And we took a cab back to her house in Springfield. Like something out of a bad B movie.
BAC'sMom replied: Wow sorry Casey
My DH had a crazy Stepmom like that but my FIL finally got rid of her 
Danalana replied: It sounds like he needs to be with her for some reason. Like, my father stayed with Mattie because he was using her. Her husband had passed away, leaving her with a lot of money. I'm not saying your father is like that, but mine is. Really, why would you stay with someone who made your life miserable if you had a choice in the matter? There has to be some reason that he stays. She certainly doesn't sound very loveable.
TheOaf66 replied: I don't know what to tell you but I cannot believe that parents out there do this, my ex-SIL was like this for awhile with m y niece and it was hard to swallow, I hope you get the answers you're lookin for
amynicole21 replied: Wow. That's really all I can say. I would really put my foot down with your father. If he doesn't stick up for you, he doesn't deserve you. That is no way to act.
grapfruit replied: I just had a LONG talk w/him. The email was from her. I sent it back so he could print it out. He said he is so sorry. That he wants to see me more, be damned the fights at home. That when I have kids they will have a grandpa.
I don't know if I believe what he's saying or not. I mean it's not like we were estranged or anything. I saw him every other weekend and then some. We had good quality time together.
He told me that sometimes when they have a fight she tells him that if I wasn't around and he wouldn't of had me every other weekend they could of spent more time together. This sort of makes me think that she'll never grow up and get over "it". He said her kids are coming over for on Friday or Saturday and he's going to get them by them alone to see if they'll stand w/him to confront her. (They're tired of it too). I mean the one I haven't seen in YEARS. And she has a new baby and everything.
Dana, I don't know why he "needs" to be w/her. I've asked myself that over and over again. He has a GREAT job w/ODOT (Ohio Dept of Transportation). Makes probably close to $4K a month after taxes b/c he's a supervisor. So I don't think it's money. I think he just "needs" somebody. Maybe it's just simply he loves her. I don't know.
I told him I'm ok w/taking all the blame, all my fault. That's fine. She's can be a perfect angel, that's fine. I just want a relationship. That's all.
Calimama replied:
I agree, she sounds jealous. You should tell her green really isn't her color. 
Danalana replied: Oh wow...it took a lot of courage for you to talk to him! I'm so glad he at least wants to confront her on it. It sounds like he's sincere, but I can only tell so much over the net. I'm praying he does what he says he will do...you deserve it!
grandma replied: Plain and simple, your dad's wife sounds dangerously jealous and mean. You should stay away from her!
grapfruit replied:
Oh trust me, I haven't set eyes on her since I was about 16.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must feel.
bawoodsmall replied: Try not to let him get you down. Lifes too short kwim.
holley79 replied: I'm glad you were able to talk to him and able to find out it wasn't him who sent the email but her.
I'm not sure what the laws are in Ohio but I know in the state of FL you can not be charged with harrassment by sending emails, making phone calls or sending snail mail that is not of threatening material.
I'm glad you stay away from her and I hope you and your father are able to reconnect.
msoulz replied:
That sounds like good advice!! 
MoonMama replied:
jacobsmama replied: Casey,
I am so sorry to hear that she would send you emails like that pretending to be him and treat you so badly. My step mother and I never got along when I was little, not really sure why. I think same thing you said, she thought if I wasn't around she would have more of him. She has to remember that your Dad is who he is because you are part of him too. You may not see him all the time but having kids c hanges you. You are an important part of him, and him saying he is sorry and those things he did when you talk spells that out. I had a talk with my step mom as I was older and we worked alot of things out. I know you said you haven't talked to her and this may not be an option. I really hope that your father continues to have a realtionship with you because if he doesn't he is the one losing out! You are a great gal!
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