Cashmere is gone :( - death mentioned

kimberley wrote: God must be testing me because i don't know why else everything would be going so wrong all at once. my kitty Cashmere is gone. she was a quiet cat who kept to herself all day under my bed and usually is only out around the house late at night or in the morning. she was 14 1/2 yrs old. Jamie asked me if i saw the cat this morning because she didn't come out for her breakfast so we started a mad search around the house. he found her under the boys' bunk bed (somewhere she never goes). i didn't believe him nor did i want to. i went in and she was lying there like she was just sleeping. when i picked her up, blood came out of her nose and i lost it. James came home shortly after and we dug a hole in the backyard and buried her. well Jamie did because i couldn't stop crying. James, bless his heart, was worried that she would be squished if we put the dirt back into the grave. we had a long talk and cry and he seems okay with it because he knows she is in heaven. he even gave her some cat treats and put flowers in the grave. i get to do this all over again when Jacob gets home at 3:45pm i know he is going to take this harder than James did. i wanted to wait for him to be a part of the burial but Jamie had to get to work and i really couldn't have done it without him. it is probably better that way. i am going to let him pick some flowers and say his goodbye. for those of you who are not pet owners, i know all of this probably sounds stupid, but she was a part of my family for the past 14 years and has always been in the boys' life. she will be greatly missed.

aspenblue1 replied: I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to loose a pet. When I was pregnant with Isabella my cat of almost 20 years passed away. Sending lots of hugs!

booey2 replied: Hugs and condolences to all of you. I have never owned a pet myself but had to put DH cat down (while we were dating and I was home from school) because he (the cat) had feline lukemia and DH was working and couldn't get off. It nearly crushed me to do this and the cat wasnt even mine so I can only sense how you all must feel.

paradisemommy replied: i'm so sory..i know how you feel all too well. sending lots of

momma2jenna replied: I'm so sorry for your loss. You have many years of happy memories though, and it sounds like your sweet kitty went very peacefully. Sorry.

jem0622 replied: Oh Kim I am so sorry. What a way to start the day. And you are still feeling weighed down by everything else. We have 2 cats and DH and me grew up with pets. Couldn't have it any other way. Even if they have attitudes. We love them just the same.

(((HUGS))) to you and your family.

Something to read over (but it might make you bawl)

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Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

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amynicole21 replied: Oh honey, I'm so terribly sorry. I know how difficult it is to lose a pet, and I can't imagine having to explain it all to a child. Sending you lots of strength and keeping you in my thoughts.

Jamison'smama replied: I am so sorry. Losing a loved pet is very hard. Hugs to all of you!!

DansMom replied: That is so sad, Kimberley. It must have been heartbreaking and a shock to find Cashmere that way, a beloved and long-term pet and companion. I feel for James---I remember unburying a pet when I was about 7 years old to make sure he was okay. Death is such a hard thing to understand when you see it face to face at any age. I'm so sorry your family is going through this today.

Mom2Boyz replied: I'm so sorry about your kitty
Losing a pet is very very hard.

CantWait replied: Kimberley I'm so sorry for your loss. Up untill 2 and a half years ago I never would have known what the big fuss was about. Now that I have Dusty though, I know that your pet is truly a special friend. Big hugs to you

kimberley replied: telling Jacob has to be the single hardest thing i have ever had to do as a parent he came home from school all happy and telling me about his day and before he went to play i figured i should tell him before James opened his mouth. his initial reaction surprised me and made me kinda laugh. he asked me if that meant we could get another pet. it obviously hadn't hit him yet. he didn't say anything for a few minutes so i asked him if he had any questions or feelings he wanted to share and the waterworks started. my poor baby he wanted to know how she died and i told him that she was really old and had to go to heaven. all the while choking back my own tears. he asked me where she was when she died and i hesitated. i didn't know whether or not i should tell him that she died under his bed. i told him he didn't need to know that and he pleaded and honesty is the best policy so i told him. he actually found comfort in the fact that she wanted to be near him in her last hours. it was just killing me though hearing him say over and over "i can't believe she is gone" through an ocean of tears. i just held him and cried with him. he told me something i did not know. he said that late at night if he woke up with a bad dream, cashmere would always come and stay with him. i had no idea. she was never there in the morning, she was at her usual post under my bed or at my feet. i never heard her go in there. he told me that she warmed his heart he wanted to lie down and watch tv so i told him when he wanted to, i would take him to her grave so he could lay some flowers. almost an hour later he asked me to go. we weren't out there for more than a few seconds when he just planted the flowers and bawled and wanted to come in. i just held him. he cried on and off for the next couple of hours but seems okay now. he keeps making random comments about her though. like "if Cashmere were still here she would be sitting with us now". my heart is breaking into a million billion pieces for him right now. i will probably let him sleep with us tonight. i really don't know what else to do. this is all so sad.

kit_kats_mom replied: As the "mommy" to a 15 year old overweight cat who's been with me for 14 years...I can only say, I'm terribly sorry for your family's loss. I know how cherished a pet is and even though my cat really gets on my nerves since we brought Katherine home, I will still be very sad when she is gone.

kit_kats_mom replied: http://www.petvets.com/petloss/#management

I also wanted to post the above link on pet loss information. I think you did a great job with the boys though.

kimberley replied:
thanks for the link Cary. it helps me feel better about how i handled/ am handling this. isn't it odd that the kitty you once doted on is suddenly the most irritating creature sometimes once you have a baby. i mean, i always still loved the cat, but i never had the same time with her since the kids were born.

the boys are fitting into their age profiles. James initially felt like his allergy to her was why she died but i told him that Cashmere knew he would get sick if he pet her and always still loved him and knew he loved her. that made him smile. he drew a picture about an hour ago and came in the kitchen to hang it up. he was in here for a while so i asked him what he was doing. he came out all teary and said he made a picture for Cashmere. he has no idea how to spell since he is just in SK but he tried to write i love you Cashmere. he wrote " I luv y Cashm" and drew him and her smiling together. ::sigh:: this is tough. Jacob is okay for now but i know bedtime will be hard.

thanks to everyone for your hugs and support.

kit_kats_mom replied: Maybe copying the picture that he drew for her and tying it to a balloon to send to her in Heaven may help? Just a suggestion.

coasterqueen replied: Oh Kimberley, I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you right now and for your children. I know how difficult it is to lose a pet. I think you might remember back in December I had to make the choice to have my cat, Jakey, put to sleep when DH was out of town. That was the hardest thing I had to do and will NEVER do that again. I miss him every day and I didn't realize how hard it was going to be losing him. Jakey was Kylie's favorite cat, but luckily she was young enough that she didn't even understand. I'm thankful for that, but sad she won't get to grow up with him .

I felt so bad that he got so so sick and had to be put to sleep because I hadn't had much time for him since Kylie was born and he was really getting on my nerves.

((HUGS)) You and your family are in my thoughts right now.

A&A'smommy replied: Awww aweetie I'm soo sorry!!! My kitty ran away right before I got pregnant I cried for months when I realize he probably wouldnt come home again.. I still look for him when I go to my moms and even expect to see him! I miss him so much ! ((((HUGE HUGS))))

amynicole21 replied: Kimberly, I just wanted to second what Cary said. Sounds like you are doing a great job helping the boys cope. It must be so difficult to be strong for them, but you are obviously a great mom!

Elle replied: I'm so sorry for your loss, Kimberley, I certainly know how you feel.
My condolences to you and your family