Care to help a distraught guy?

Twelve Volt Man wrote: OK, here goes... My work schedule has me working two weekends per month. This weekend, however, I am off. Actually, I finished work around 3:00 PM yesterday (Thursday), and don't have to go back in until 6:00 PM on Monday. The weather has been warming up, I have a fridge full of beer, and some nice, thick steaks marinading. Needless to say, I've been looking forward to my time off.

This weekend, however, is going to be a bit of a challenge. My wife (27 weeks pregnant today) and her best friend (31 weeks pregnant) are going to a baby shower that is being thrown for them. Her friend (who is my best friend's wife) is flying into NC from NH today. Obviously, our friend will need a place to stay for the weekend. That's right... I will have two big ole pregnant gals in my house simultaneously!

Yesterday, when I left work, I stopped by the bank and took out a second mortgage on my house, so that I could go grocery shopping for these two eating machines. Fortunately, my beer should be safe, but if they touch my steak, we're gonna have some REAL problems.

My question for you all is twofold:
1. The nighttime temperature has only been in the 30's, so is it unreasonable to ask the ladies to camp outside for the weekend, so I don't have to listen to their incessant talking?

2. If my buddy's wife touches my steak, and I end up burying her in the back yard, how do I tell him?

MyBabeMaddie replied:
I like your sense of humor!

amymom replied: Sir, You are in trouble!!!!

CantWait replied:
Oh Gosh, you're in trouble. Good Luck this weekend. Almost make you wanna trade shifts eh.

amynicole21 replied: Here's a thought... let them both hear you call them "big ole pregnant gals," wait for the beatings to ensue, then you can spend your weekend in the hospital and not have to worry about it! Problem solved

ZandersMama replied:

boyohboyohboy replied:
totally in agreement

kit_kats_mom replied: roflmbo

Have fun.

lisar replied: LOL.... I wonder what your wife will say if she ever reads this. LOL your to funny.

msoulz replied:
LOL! That certainly would solve the "problem".

Hey, the beer is safe so you have NOTHING to complain about!!!

redplaydoh replied: If my DH referred to me as a "big ole pregnant gal" when I was pregnant I would've poured his beer down the drain as I ate his steak.

TheOaf66 replied: wow twelve volt, you gotta learn to keep these thoughts to yourself when you are the minority I hope you don't blurt these out to your wife...of course you don't since you're still alive to type. Interesting thoughts and I think the beer is way more important than steak.

Calimama replied: You'd better hope she never runs into your posts. Haha you're so funny!

gr33n3y3z replied: haha I want to watch this all unfold
your dead meat LOL

Twelve Volt Man replied: Great news! One half of the carnivorous prego pair won't be able to make it tonight. Her flight got screwed up and she will be flying into Raleigh, and will stay with one of the girls who's throwing the shower. My wife will drive there tomorrow for the shower, then the two of them will return here before our friend flies home on Sunday. So, my weekend of hormone-filled misery has been reduced to just one painful night. Maybe I'll take my lovely young gal out for dinner now.

redchief replied: That's cool. I was going to suggest you put the steaks in the freezer for a week and switch with a guy from the squad that's on this week, but it doesn't appear you're in such dire straights anymore. Have a great weekend.