Can kids be too polite? - spin-off of Crystalina's thread

C&K*s Mommie wrote: Can children be too polite IYO?

Do you think parents can overdo instilling manners into their children? Requiring their children to be polite (saying please and thank you, no ma'am, no sir, etc) all the time?

mckayleesmom replied: No. as long as its not said in a snooty manner. I use to babysit this little girl that was soooo snooty and she was even snooty when she would say please, thank you...etc.....Drove me nuts.

cameragirl21 replied: IMO, kids are born altruistic and are by nature polite, especially when they're taught that this way is right.
however, kids, in their nature are also selfish and self centered, this is enforced when an infant cries in the middle of the night and mommy comes running, sometimes 3 to 4 times in a night. the lesson here is that you are the center of the world and mommy and daddy exist to serve you.
and for the record, i'm not implying that parents should not tend to their child's needs at all hours of the day and night, it's just something we learned about in psychology class--that babies are truly the ones with the power...their needs are always met unless they are God forbid abused or neglected.
so what it leads to as babies turn into toddlers is that they're inclined to go after what they want and once they have it, it may not occur to them to say thanks because they have this idea in their heads that when they want something, it is provided and that this is the expectation.
but studies show that kids show signs of natural altruism and politeness, even if it wasn't necessarily taught to them so i believe it comes naturally to them, it's just a matter of mixing these two natural inclinations--the politeness and the self centeredness that sometimes leads to kids forgetting to say thanks, etc.
ETA--sorry, Nicole, i misunderstood your q, i missed the word "too" and thought you were simply asking if kids can be polite, like meaning, if they were born polite, etc, which is why i answered the way i did...i answered the wrong question so please ignore my response!

Simplebeliever replied: IMO, nope you can never be to polite.

As I see it, most of civilization today has a increasing problem in the decline of morals as well as personal responsibility. Take a some what bigger example: A man beats his wife. He's arrested and charged. His defense: "I shouldn't be held accountable because I watched my dad beat my mom when I was a child".

Now, I realize my example is a bit of stretch when discussing politeness. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a parents buy a child a treat to sooth a temper tantrum and the child doesn't even acknowledge the gift. For some reason that bugs me.

Crystalina replied: I don't think they can be too polite only because over the years they are bound to lose some of their manners. I figure if you instill enough manners then when they are tweenies or teens they will lose some but still have just enough to come across as still being polite. Not only that they will hopefully instill manners into their own kids. Manners in my house are expected and just come natural. We don't work at it because we say please and thank you to each other on a daily basis so the kids really don't even know they are being polite. I do have to remind them once in awhile in public because they are anxiouse or not paying attention but most of the time they are right on the ball.

TheOaf66 replied: I believe if more parents instilled these values in their kids, we wouldn't have all the attitudes from kids that we have today. I was raised with a good amount of freedom but there was no room on politeness and courtesy...it is just respectful and I am glad my parents did that and my kids will have the same treatment.

Boo&BugsMom replied: No. I think in our world today kids don't have enough manners to be honest. i do not think children can be "too" polite.

Do I think some parents can go overboard? Well, sure, I am sure there are people in this world who treat their children like they are not even human, which then, I think parents need to chill out. But on a whole, if we are talking about usual every day manners, no I do not think you can overdo it as long as the parents are being realistic in their expectations. Manners, morals, and common courtesy are just common sense if you ask me.

mom21kid2dogs replied: I can't even imagine what "too polite" is but in our house "please" and "thank you" are a requirement as is "sorry", etc. Olivia just finished writing 17 thank you notes by hand for her birthday gifts. She was so excited to do it~she did 15 last night. (We were waiting to get pictures developed so they are later than usual) We have yet to get one from any of her friends, however. Manners do seem to be a apart of the overall erosion of society, I'm afraid.

mom2my2cuties replied: honestly I don't think kids can have too many manners. I grew up saying Yes/no Ma'am/Sir, Please, Thank You, Sorry, Excuse me, etc and still hold those values true to me today. I try to teach them to my kids. Who are usually polite.

My2Beauties replied: No I don't think so! Most of them don't have enough if you ask me. We've always taught Hanna to say please, thank you and you're welcome!

C&K*s Mommie replied:

luvbug00 replied:

ditto again

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Not only do my kids say please and thank you, they say excuse me after burping or farting, they wait their turn to speak (sometimes with reminders), they know to stop talking when the phone rings, they keep their elbows off the table while eating, no hats at the table, they ask to be excused from the table after meal time, they don't put their feet on the couch or the coffee table, they share, they are considerate - like if I only have one treat, they will share with each other without me having to ask, same with a bottle of water or whatever... they will hold the door open coming in or going out of the house, they will hold the doors open for strangers at the shopping centre, and I don't expect anyhting less from them. It is very important to me that my children learn proper manners, and social etiquette. Why? I don't really know... but it just is.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
So does Tanner...as he's laughing! Boys!

redchief replied: I know the question asked about kids. I think the whole world lacks for politeness and empathy, really. That's one of the reasons there are so many rude kids around. They learn that behavior from their parents. Now that doesn't mean that people should let others walk over them; just that there are appropriate and inappropriate reactions. So, I say, no, you can't ever be too polite, and neither can the children. I think if we all kept in mind that we're supposed to respect and love our fellow humans there'd be a lot less killing and violence in the world. Politenes is really only an outward show of respect, after all.