Can I Vent??
Heather wrote: I am sorry ladies but I need to vent. As you may know MIL and SIL are staying here with me. While at times it is great to have them because they keep Ali occupied while I am busy tending to my new little one, ohter times it just plain sucks...well most of the time. I just can't stand either of them. SIL eats all my food, MIl has only given me 100 for food and that is all. I have spent over 500 in past 3 weeks on groceries. She has ate well over that. MOOCH!!
Anyways,that isn't my major vent... this is going to sound harsh but I don't like the person Alison has become since they have been here. She doesn't listen to me anymore, she hardly ever leans on me for support anymore, she has become very mean and very very whiney. More so than normal. It is really upsetting me. I know it is because of MIL and SIL. When I am not around they give in to her and no matter how many times I try to tell them. It hasn't done a thing. i am so stressed, i am ready to have a nervous breakdown. Jason just lashes out at me and says if you want me to kick them out I will. Okay, so then I look like the bad guy.
I have a sneaky feeling MIL talks to Alison in the third person but says Mommy instead of Grammy (does that make sense), I feel this because she slipped one day and caught herself.
THey give her juice non stop. I say juice once a day that is it. Plus they give it to her in a sippy. NO JUICE Or MILK IN Sippy is my rule. JUST water in a sippy. They act like they forgot or I never told them. I am ready to just beat them down. UGH!
SIL just takes my things into her possession like this was her house. I sound so selfish, but I hate living with them.
They are sleeping in my sewing room so I have all my supplies down stairs so everything looks distraught.
On top of it all, I think MIL is smoking in my house. We haven't caught her yet but it constantly smells of smoke..and I am so against anyone smoking in my house.
man, I thought venting would help but it seems to be making me madder.
i am sorry I just wanted to get it out...forgive me ...
Kaitlin'smom replied:  so how much longer?
I am so sorry you have to put up with this, I hope they go soon.
amynicole21 replied: Ugh! I would go NUTS  Were there any kind of rules made when you agreed to let them live with you? Like no smoking, chipping in for food/utilities, helping out with Alison? If not, maybe it's time to have a little sit-down with them. You are doing them a HUGE favor in letting them live with you. In turn, they need to AT THE VERY LEAST respect your rules. Letting them undermine your parental decisions is UNACCEPTABLE! 
I wish DH was more supportive - that really sucks that you seem to be on your own on this one.
coasterqueen replied: I would go insane too. I think you have a right to feel all those things. I know what it's like to have someone live with you and they drive you nuts. How much longer are they going to be there?
Vent anytime you need to.
kimberley replied: (((hugs))) Heather. sorry things are going so rough  how much longer are they staying? i have the same problem when my ex MIL visits. it doesn't take long for the boys to adjust back to normal once she is gone, but ikwym about it being unbearable at the time. i think all MILs have this sick tendency to call their grandchild *their* baby. ugh! i really resent it too. i would definitely get DH to talk to them about contributing more towards groceries and that smoking is unacceptable when you have babies in the house!!! lock SIL out of your room so she can't take your stuff. hide your important things. hope it ends or gets better soon. we are here to listen.
DansMom replied: I don't think you sound selfish. Why are they there---to help you out, or because they don't have a home of their own? How long have they been staying with you? It sounds like they've worn out their welcome ten times over. If they are actually living there, they should be contributing in a substantial way and they should honor your rules. As far as DH goes, I am very defensive about my family when my DH criticizes them, even when they are wrong and acting badly---it's normal. He might even feel the same way you feel, but it can be so hard to admit bad feelings toward your own family. I'm sure he's pretty stressed out being between you and them and doesn't have the courage to hurt their feelings. But he's the one who has to talk to them, imo. If he doesn't, you might have to do so. What a drag---I'm so sorry you're going through this!
My mom stayed with my sister all winter and into the Spring. Finally, her DH blew a gasket and it ended being a lot worse for everyone than it would have been had the issues been addressed sooner. My mom had no idea that her son-in-law was feeling negative about her being there at all. I defended her at first, but then I thought---that's a long time to stay with a family in a small house without really making sure in advance that it's okay with them to stay that long. I was upset because my mom's feelings were hurt, but really she just kind of moved in without asking... kind of weird! She just assumed it would be okay because it's a big trip for her (both her grandkids are here in Michigan, and she travels here with her two cats and stays a long time---my brother in law is allergic to cats---you can see where things could go awry). My point is that it really is better to deal with family issues like this SOONER rather than LATER, and openly. Later only makes things a lot worse. So sorry---you have every right to vent!!!
MommyToAshley replied:
I am so sorry, I would feel exactly the same way as you. But, you must have more patience than I do because I probably would have already kicked them out myself. . I was wondering the same thing as the others... how long till they leave?
Josie83 replied: Heather, no way should apologise about getting your anger out, sometimes its the only way! I know what you mean about ppl taking over and overriding how you want your child to be brought up and treated, i think it is so disrespectful when they do that!  At the end of the day, you're her mother noone else . . . just remember that its not Alison's fault that she is acting up, and like someone else says she should revert back to normal when they go. Have they said how long they are staying for? Maybe you should drop some subtle hints about the house being crowded etc if you don't feel comfortable telling them directly you want them to leave? And I would make your husband stick up for you more if I were you. Anyway, I hope you get it sorted and it starts to get better for you, let it go any time you want!! Let us know how everything's going, if all else fails get a pillow and hit it really really hard pretending its the faces of certain people . . .  xx
Maddie&EthansMom replied:
I cannot stand company for more than 2 days....there is NO WAY I would have someone, anyone living under my roof. Huh uh..no way. You are a saint. DH and I have a rule that no one stays with us. BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!!
lsjulee replied:  So sorry you have to go thru this. They are being very bad and inconsiderate guests. Ooo I pray you could rid of them sooner.
momof2girls replied: Im so sorry your so stressed, they sound very inconsiderate.
I would have a family meeting.. or make some note on the fridge, and WHY are they there???
Just because they are family does not make it ok for them to act this way...
if your DH wont talk to them you should....
big hugs to you!
aspenblue1 replied: I would be stressed also. I can not stand when people do that. I would definately have a meeting and set some ground rules!
A&A'smommy replied: Oh my goodness! Here is what I'm having to do around here I write notes to everyone that way the have no excuse. That may not work for you because they sound VERY stubborn! (((((BIG BIG HUGS))))) to you!
Elle replied: I can't believe what I'm reading! It would drive me nuts... I'm really sorry, Heather. I hope they move out soon.
momof2girls replied: my sil is going thru the same thing with her dh family its his cousin and 3 kids and their 3 dogs, the dogs pee all over the house and on her new couch!! she is sooo stressed!!!
I would have kicked them out, Im sorry that is crazy for people to be that way... plus the parents are lazy and dont even take care of their 3 kids!!!!
it makes me mad and its not even MY situation...
Keep us posted!
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