Bye bye binkie
mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: Wil is turning TWO next week and I promised myself that he would be rid of the binkie by then. But I don't think it's going to happen unless I get on it right away. So I need help...How do you do it? I wasn't going to push it since Wil was struggling with the transition of the new baby, but Wesley doesn't really take a binkie, so I don't think it would be a jealousy issue with Wil. So what do I do? What do I tell him? What works and what doesn't work? TIA 
moped replied: Maybe you could start by giving it to him only in bed...........
Or just cold turkey! YIKES.
C&K*s Mommie replied: We used a sort of "pacifier {binkie} fairy" method. Part cold turkey, part lies. 
I told Kel (who was the only one who used them) that other boys and girls needed them. That we needed to gather them all up, and she helped me, and put them in a bag to give away to the other little boys and girls. She was fine after that.
Hope you have success! 
luvmykids replied: I don't know but best of luck 
coasterqueen replied: With Kylie it was around a few months after she turned 2, the week after Christmas Santa and Rudolph came and took all the binkies to give to little babies whose parents couldn't afford to buy them one. We prepared her for months for this, letting her know they'd be coming after Christmas.
ETA that with all the 'preperation' months ahead it was VERY easy when the time came. She didn't have a problem at all with it.
JP&KJMOM replied: With JP it was not quiet how I thought we would do it but it worked. I was still on maternity leave with Karlee and Jason picked up JP at daycare. On the way home JP was talking and had his in his mouth so needless to say Jason could not understand what he was saying. Jason just reached over plucked it out of JP's mouth and rolled down the window and acted like he threw it out.  The first couple of night were kinda rough but all was good after that.
I like the ideas that the others used and would try them!
1lilpeanut2love replied: I just did it Cold Turkey before she was 1. It worked and I haven't looked back since. Kaylee was SO attached to that darn thing, that it wasn't even funny. She had to have it to fall asleep!
kimberley replied: i would wait a bit. Jade really struggled the first 4-5mos Kaleigh was here and actually *just* gave up her soother on the weekend. (she only started on it after K was born becuase i couldn't nurse both of them round the clock). we actually lost it in the move and she has been fine so far *touch wood*. good luck.
amynicole21 replied:
We did something similar. It was about 2 days after Nora came home from the hospital and Sophia threw her binky in the trash because I told her to... I didn't expect her to do it, but she did! I told her I wouldn't take it out of the garbage and that it was gone. She freaked, to say the least. It was a miserable 4 or 5 days, especially with a newborn in the house. 
Not sure i recommend this method, but this came after trying nearly everything else including giving the binky to needy babies, having the Easter Bunny take it and only letting her use it in bed. None of those worked, so we had to take more drastic measures 
Boo&BugsMom replied:
Just throw it out. If it's lingering around you will be tempted to give it back to him if he's not liking the transition. Have him help you throw it out. I think you are making a wise choice, IMHO. They cause so many speech delays in older children as it is. Remember, he wont like not having it, but also remember, if you are consistant he will shortly learn it's not coming back. After a week you will be happy you did it. Good luck! Stay strong mama! He'll be fine. In the meantime, give him some extra special love and attention and praise him for being such a big boy without it!
I just threw Tanner's all out one day and I never turned back. We did it when he was about 13 months. From my experiences, it has been easier taking it away when they are younger versus when they are older. Hope all goes well! KUP!
PrairieMom replied: I'm a mean mommy. I did the cold turkey method too.  The first few nights were bad, but he got over it.  We did it before he was one.
I had a friend that cut holes in the binkie nipples so they wouldn't suck anymore.
PrairieMom replied: I'm a mean mommy. I did the cold turkey method too. The first few nights were bad, but he got over it. We did it before he was one.
I had a friend that cut holes in the binkie nipples so they wouldn't suck anymore.
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Thanks everyone. I'm not sure how to handle it yet. I like some of the suggestions, but man, it sounds like hard work.  He is so attached. I know it's my fault, but I suppose I'm attached too. Makes shopping with two kids a whole lot easier because Wil is ALWAYS fussy when we're at the store...lol!  I will let you know how our progress goes. Thanks
coasterqueen replied:
I know you want to rid of it now, but it's really simple when they are ready to give it up. There was nothing to it when Kylie gave it up. She had months to get used to the idea that she wasn't going to need it anymore and when the time finally came she was completely fine with it.
IMO if they have a hard time with it, they are not ready which puts unwanted stress on them, you and the rest of the family.
GL with whatever you decide to do. Just know that you don't HAVE to do it in a stressful way.
mckayleesmom replied: I heard that cutting holes in them works pretty good.....Neither of my kids really took them...so it was just not something we had to deal with.
redplaydoh replied: We need a smilie that has a bag over its face because that would be me. There are two things I'm obsessed with pacifiers and Strumpfhosen (tights boys here wear in the winter). Both my boys are "binkie babies". We call them Nuggi's... that is and has always been their own way of soothing themselves. They never have attached to blanket or toy that they HAVE to have, but the nuggi's are the one thing they are VERY attached to.
I am as attached to them as they are. We use the Bibi brand and they are always coming out with new designs on them. I was always buying them more so I could color match their outfits with their nuggi's. I know I'm sick... go ahead and laugh because I would be if I were you. I'm probably the only mother that matched outfits to their kid's pacifiers. At one point I had around 100 in the house... and I would tear the place apart if I lost one. I was SO obsessed with them. "But I can't let Bryan wear his cute blue octopus shirt without his blue squid nuggi to match!!!" Click here if you want to see the Bibi Nuggi Line.
I've started a SLOW process on weaning them. We took a small tree branch and "planted" it in a pot of dirt and called it the Nuggi Tree. I explained that the Nuggi Fairy would come and take the nuggi's to little babies that needed them. I let them select around 5-6 nuggi's each to hang on the tree. Overnight I would remove the nuggis and THROW them away so they would be gone. (So hard for me to do!!!) The first step was to break them of using the nuggis in public so the ones that got thrown away I told them were the ones we used in the car. Then I moved onto throwing another batch away which was the "daytime" nuggis... now I just have to get rid of the night nuggis which will be the hardest step. Btw, the Nuggi Fairy always left them little trinkets in place of the nuggis they gave up.
We're down to about 6 total now... and I am not replacing them... I promise.
Here's a picture of our Nuggi Tree...
Boo&BugsMom replied:
It WILL be hard work, but I can tell you, it's a lot more hard work getting your child's speech back in order if your child's speech declines from having one in their mouth all the time.  I know it's easier to still let him have it, but easier doesn't always mean better. I know it can be hard. Tanner was a nuk baby himself. But with all the research out there showing speech delays and safety concerns (I have a horrible story if you'd like to hear), I wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. By this age, it's really nothing more than a habit, IMHO (no offense at all ). It's not something they "need" persay, and usually it's us parents that need them to have it more because we are afraid of taking it away and letting them scream and cry, which a few have already admitted to. Me included...I have been guilty of that in the past and probably present with other things! It's hard to see our little guys upset. Hope all goes well! You'll thank yourself after all is said and done with.
I've heard about the holes too, but that usually pertains more to babies. Older children are smarter than that and usually don't care because it's still in their mouth and that's all they care about, just having it, because that is what they are use to...the habit of having it. All kids are different though, and the holes thing may be worth a shot! He'll be fine. Stay strong!
Boo&BugsMom replied:
That is the cutest thing I've ever seen! Tanner was obsessed with the nuks that had big bulbs. He was a very picky little guy when it came to his nuks. The biggest problem at that time was that he only had ONE favorite one from the time he was an infant until we took it away, so if we lost it...we were out of luck!
luvmykids replied: That tree idea is super cute!
coasterqueen replied:
I do agree that a binkie at a certain age could be constituted as a habit, but I also think it's a need...to them at least. It's a need of comfort. We all, even as adults seek comfort in some form or fashion, that never goes away from the time we are little babies and as we grow into adults.
I'm not posting this to start a debate or anything, I just think sometimes we all need to be reminded that even as adults we still need comfort, whether we find it in food, cigarettes, biting our nails or pens, very needy for another adults attention, etc.
So I truly believe that a binkie at this age IS a need...a need for comfort. If that makes it a bad thing, then all the comfort things we seek as adults is a bad thing.
I am not saying that a child shouldn't be rid of a binkie at a particular age or what have you. I think maybe it's just that if we rid of one comfort for them then we should give them another way to comfort themselves.
kimberley replied: i totally agree with Karen. yes, you want to get rid of the paci by a certain age.. but at what cost? if you wait a couple of months, when your child is ready and not still reeling over the birth of another sibling they won't have to cry convulsively and feel alone. i have always tried to make "fun" days and ease each child into the adjustment of the new one, but it never fails.. they feel insecure about it and nothing i can do will change that. all i can do is continue to reassure them and not strip them of their "comfort zone" items while they make that transition. Jade regressed with potty training and took up a paci at 2 1/2. i could have forced the issues then, but why would i put her through that??? she is now completely adjusted and back on track because i allowed her to keep the security she needed at that time. they are little for such a short time, imo, i'd rather not have it all be battles.
Brias3 replied: All three of my kids took binkies ("bops" as they called them- don't ask where Ryan came up with this name for it but it stuck for all three). When we gave them up, I cut it back to night's only at first and then just went cold turkey when they had transitioned to less dependancy. Ryan took it the hardest, he had to take a soft chew ring to bed for a bit afterwards for the oral satisfaction I guess, Aliyah didn't blink twice over it, and Mason kind of sniffled the first two nights but never said a word, just looked completely dejected (which killed me ) Good luck with Wil's transition!
BTW, I just noticed in your ticker it says Wesley is 2 months already??? WHEN did that happen? I feel like I was just reading your announcement post last week! 
Boo&BugsMom replied: Karen, I can totally see where you're coming from. I guess I just see it in a different light. I've dealt with too many kids with speech delays who were allowed to walk around and talk with it every day on end. When a child is starting to talk it's so important for them to be able to form sounds appropriately, and there is a lot of miseducation out there regarding the negative and positive affects of them. And of course, the manufacturers don't help  . So, for me, I just have seen so many negative effects of them, that it scares me to see children with them walking and talking with them all the time.
I also had a daycare child who fell, chipped his tooth because of the plastic on the nuk, and then almost choked from the bulb. When he fell his teeth bit right into it, literally bit the bulb off, and almost choked to death on it. Luckily, I knew/know CPR and all that jazz. It was scary.  I don't ever want to deal with that again. So, for safety reasons, being that I only take children 2 and over in my house, I do not even allow nuks in my home daycare.
I don't disagree that it can be comforting to children and comfort is important, but I think it's important for parents to educate themselves on the negative affects on them before letting their children have them 24/7 too. I think it's also important for children to learn how to cope with challenges and problems appropriately without having something to rely on, like a nuk. For example, verbal problem solving...instead of throwing a fit in the store then given a nuk...talking to the child and explaining why you are there, etc. They need to talk out their problems and issues instead of bottling them up by given a nuk. A blanket they just carry around, it still allows them to be verbal, wheras a nuk/binkie does not. I'm not sure if that made sense. I am all for comforting, but when it comes to these things...nuks, binkies, whatever you want to call them, it restricts so much more that some people don't see.
Nobody has to agree with me, and I respect that. I've just seen so much, that it's hard for me to not report the negative affects of them because a lot of people just don't know. Sorry to ramble...it's the teacher in me. I'll stop...
coasterqueen replied: Jennie -
I see your point about the safety reasons. Believe it or not I've done a lot of research on them as well as books on jaw development in babies, children who take bottles versus nursing, etc. There's a lot of things that aren't good for jaw development and speech development, like bottles.
There are also lots of negative things about a lot of things, for instance formula has lots of negatives, but people use what they think is right for them no matter how much ones tells them the negatives.
My DD who had a binkie til she was 27 months old, there for a while she would try to talk with the binkie in her mouth. Well as a parent I understood this was not a good thing and she knew after my talk with her that she didn't get the binkie if she wasn't going to talk, etc, etc. Believe it or not you CAN reason with a child to talk and still let them have a binkie. Binkies are not the only thing that can cause speech delay and a lot of cases it's not the binkie that caused the issue in the first place....it was just a good scapegoat.
Binkies, and bottles for that matter, cause more problems with jaw development (later in life causing TMJ, teeth issues, etc) than speech delays. I had a great book on this very subject a year or so ago, let someone borrow it and never got it back. If I remember the title I'll post it, if you are interested. Very interesting reading.
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Anyways, sorry to steal your thread Rae. I just felt it important to stress that everyone, children and adults NEED comfort. We all just have our different forms. When we are ready to give up one form of comfort we find another, but comfort is always there. As humans we need AND want comfort. Heck, ask my husband why I keep old tattered blankets around instead of throwing them away. Because when I'm not feeling well or just really want to curl up in a blanket, I go for my old ones (usually so old they are tattered) because those are the ones that make me feel safe, peaceful, relaxed, etc. I can't tell you my 'trail' of comforts from the time I was a baby, but I do know I've had my fair share of them. Just like I don't like sleeping alone. I NEED someone to sleep with, hence my understanding of why my children want to sleep with me...different story.
I have no qualms with ridding of the binkie. I helped my daughter with this process. But I did felt it necessary not to do it cold turkey because I knew it was something she needed and until WE (Kylie and I) could find something that worked for her, we let her use it. It made it such a nice, peaceful, relaxing transition for her and us. Just like how we ease our children into lots of situations, this one is no different IMO.
Rae - however you choose to do it, you do know your child and how he can handle things, and that's what you should do. I wish you luck with this and hope it's a fast and smooth.....and stress-free situation for you all.
Boo&BugsMom replied: Karen, good for you for educating yourself on those things. Not all people do. I would be interested in the title of the book if you have it. It probably wont change my opinion (those images, especially the injury, are ingrained in my head forever ), but I like reading educational material and learning new things, especially when it comes to children.  I feel, the more I know, the better I can help the families that I serve every day.
7thHeaven replied: Sam took a Paci, but never really got attached to it, only when she got scared, she would want it, so one day I just made them all disappear, shortly after her 1st b-day! Wish you the best of luck in your binky-breaking!
My2Beauties replied: I did the mean mommy method too. Hanna was waking up 5-6 times a night because her paci would fall out of her mouth so I got so tired of it. I went cold turkey on her. After one night, all was well! Good luck!
Boo&BugsMom replied:
Wow, I wonder if our children are somehow related. Tanner did the same thing. He didn't want to put it back in his mouth himself either. He wanted us to go and find it and put it back in! No way was I doing that every hour! Bye bye went the pacifier.
coasterqueen replied:
Kylie was like this too, but since I slept with her it was only a minor inconvenience. The inconvenience being getting down on the floor in the dark searching for the binkie before getting back into bed. 
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