Brian hurt my feelings again

My2Beauties wrote: I can't believe the nerve of him. First of all last night he went out to eat again at this restaurant with the guys, he eats out constantly with them and he gets mad at me when I ask to go out to eat - really mad, he says why do you want to go out and spend $30 on food! I know he is bored and there isn't much to do but he does stuff up there that he blasts me about when I ask to do them, like eating out and going to the mall just for fun, he called me the other day and said he was bored so he went to the mall to look around. Um excuse me whenever we're bored at home and I suggest going to the mall you say no the mall is stupid and I'm not going Ugh! He has been good about taking me out when he comes home on the weekends though, but still. Then last night he was teasing me when he was at the restaurant saying yeah I just paid for the last lap dance and we were laughing about it and I said well I'll be up there in 3 hours then to kick your butt - we were both cackling and joking! We joke about strip clubs all the time because Brian hates them. Well when he called me back that night after he was in his hotel room he said the guys in his class think I am controlling because they heard me say I was coming up there to kick his butt - um who are they and who died and made them someone who mattered and who are they to judge who I am when they have never met me? He said he wasn't worried about it but everytime he is around them we always joke about strip clubs and I say yeah ok yeah right go on and see what happens and stuff and we're laughing about it - you know I could care less if Brian went to one, he doesn't even like them so now they think I'm controlling! I know that isn't his fault, but I'm sitting here thinking well HONEY did you come to my rescue and it sounds like he didn't! That is what I am mad about, why would they think that in the first place especially when we are laughing about it, can they not take a joke! Are you telling them I'm not literally going to come up there and kick your butt for going out anywhere??? Then, I told him that it's going to be hard for me to come down to Atlanta while he is there (he goes to Atlanta for two weeks once he leaves West VA and he can't come home at all while he is there for two whole weeks) for a weekend because another girl is off the whole two weeks he's down there and I doubt I can get off at the same time but I was still going to try and do it and he goes nah I talked to Candace (his cousin who is also in training and about 3 weeks ahead of him, she is already in Atlanta this week) and I dont think I want you coming down there because she said where they are staying at is ghetto - and the street we live in ain't ghetto dummy???? Huh??? He said he doesn't think he wants me driving down there in that part of town, um you haven't seen it for one and for two I've drove through bad parts of town before come on now. Where we live alone is freaking awful! That just makes me mad. I mean if he gave me specific directions I'm pretty good at finding places. Then he asked me if he could go out with the guys next weekend? I see you two nights a week and you want to spend one of them with your homeboys - can't we all go out together my friends and your friends? So then last night I was thinking, I doubt I could get off while he is in Atlanta anyways unless I called in sick, so I figured well maybe I should see if this coming Monday and Tuesday are available so I can go up to West VA and spend some time with him? Another guy's wife just left the other day visiting him and Brian said if he would have known I was going to call in sick last Monday he would have had me come up there and stay the night and drive back which I would have had no problem doing I just didn't know I wasn't going to go to work, so I figured she would give me next Monday and Tuesday because I dont' have anymore days off until November. So I didn't request it yet I was waiting to talk to him about it when he called me this morning - when he called I said hey what if I take off Monday and Tuesday to come upt here with you- he goes come up where? Um where do you think ??? Then he was like naw I dont' think you should I think that is really stupid to gas up two cars and come up here for two days - you do it every weekend butthole - he said you should save your days for when I get back in town and I'm off and we can go do something - whatever Brian! I got quiet and just shut up, then he was like are you there I said yeah but I'm getting off here! He just infuriates me! One minute he says he woudd have had me come up there and stay the night for one night and now that I can get two days off he says no? Why? Sorry I had to vent that just hurt my feelings so bad! He straight up got loud and said that was really stupid - those are his exact words! What an jerk! He certainly has a way with hurting people's feelings lately!

gr33n3y3z replied: I'm sorry you are going through this

Its sad that he has done this to you twice
I hope it gets better

(((((HUGS)))))

Kaitlin'smom replied: gurrrr how rude of him

he can go in the dog house with my DH.

mckayleesmom replied: sorry girlie.....

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) I'm sorry you had a bad night on the phone with him.

I have to say that your phone conversation sounds like mine and DH's when he was away at college, when we were first dating. We missed each other so very much and it was so hard to be away from each other. He would come home every weekend but most of our phone conversations between that time were nothing but wonderful conversations that ended up in tension and hurting feelings. I think this is common when two people are apart because it's such a stressful time.

It sounds like he meant well about not wanting you to come to Atlanta because of where he'll be. I know some parts of Atlanta that DH and I ended up when visiting I would be GLAD if he didn't want me there. They are SCARY! It sounds like he was really trying to be caring.

And as far as driving, the gas issue, etc he probably meant well there too but still it hurt your feelings and that's valid. Your feelings should not be ignored.

As far as men not backing up their women, that's so common, lol. NOT all, but some are like that including my husband at times. Especially when they are trying to fit in and everyone is joking about their women, it's only natural. I try to remember that when DH does that, but he only does that when the guys are really ragging on him about me.

I hope things get better. They will. It's just hard being away from each other. ((HUGS)) and I hope he realized he hurt your feelings.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
I agree with all of this. Scotty and I were apart for 7 months and it was so hard. We had such a hard time talking on the phone. It never ended pretty.

Are these men that were teasing him even married?? That would make me mad, too.

Scotty hurt my feelings not too long ago, too. He was going out to eat every stinkin day with the guys at work and BUYING their lunch some days!!! We didn't really have the money for it and I think he should save the money and take his family out to eat when we are together, kwim? So, I suggested I drive up to go to lunch with him one day (it's an hour away) and he blows me off. I give him the benefit of the doubt THAT time, but everytime I suggest it he blows me off. Finally I asked him what the deal was and he said he doesn't want me around those people up there (he really hates where he works and doesnt' like the people much ) Also, he is VERY busy and never has a set time when he can go to lunch So, there were reasons and he didn't mean to blow me off, but it still hurt my feelings that he made it sound like he didn't want to be together.

Atlanta....we were in Atlanta in April for my b-day. There aren't very many NICE areas in Atlanta to tell you the truth. It is a rough city.

3xsthefun replied: I'm sorry he hurt your feelings again.

A&A'smommy replied: OMG LeaAnn that sounds awful!!!! I'm sorry he hurt your feelings!!

MM'sMama replied: GRRR I'm so sorry honey that was so rude of him .

Tell him the whole group is coming up there and kicking his hiny

My2Beauties replied:

Yeah I know it is a rough city and I understand he was trying to be a good hubby - but it still hurt my feelings, I've drove through Atlanta in the rough areas before and I know they are not nice, I just know that if he gave me good directions I wouldn't have to stop anywhere to ask anyone or stop to call him, I am really good at directions.

And just now after we got off the phone, he said I don't want you to think that I don't want you up here it's just silly to gas up two cars, he went into it will cost $100 how do you figure that, his dad's car barely cost me $25 last night to fill up and it gets good mileage- which is besides the point and I said it doesn't matter Brian after your comment I don't even want to come up there now and he said whatever you're crazy you're depressing me and I'm getting off here and he hung up the phone on me Now I am even more angry with him!

3_call_me_mama replied: AWWW>> Hugs LeAnn. Sorryhe's such a BUTT right now:( Men are awful some times:)

CantWait replied: Grrrrrr guys really do have a crappy way of wording things.