Blowup with dayhome mom = Termination on the spot!

mummy2girls wrote: I have this mom who has her 5 yr old in my dayhome. Lets call the mom Z and girl E ... Z said to my on friday that she is heading to fort mac to work( she is an exotic dancer) and that she is leaving e with a friend for the week. I asked Z to give my numbers to her so if she decides not to bring e to my dayhome one day then i will know so im not waiting around the house. I said that i like to plan outside activities and field trips and i need to know if she is coming or not. Then she blows up. she says Shelly i am getting very frustrated to be honest. I pay you 700 a month out of my pocket you should be working around my schedule. I said Z all im asking for is a courtesy call. You have a habit of calling me at 130pm or later saying im not bringing E there today im keeping her home. All im asking is for a call before 10am each day or the night before telling me that you are bringing her at blah blah time or your not bringing her. then i can plan around that time. If you decide to bring her at 130pm then just let me know the night before so i can plan my activity and be back before that time. She says shelly I work nights i dont get up until 130pm so thats when i know if im working or bringing her. I said i understand im just asking for a night before call, text message, email in that case to let me know. she says shelly what would you do if you were working nights and you had jenna in a dayhome what would you do if the provider asked this of you. I said well i would set my alarm at 10am call my provider and let them know either way then go back to bed. she then says well thats you not me. She then says shelly you have no idea how it feels to work till 4am each day and then have to wake up and be exhausted. I said well yes i do know how it feels. I am up every couple hours with breanna and there are days she will be up and i only get 2 hours sleep then i have to open teh dayhome and work 11 hours exhausted. She says well you chose to have the newborn i didnt. And you chose to pick a night job not me. ( i didnt say that but i wanted to.) I said well Z i think this may not be working out so I may have to give you my termination notice. she says fine ill accept it good bye and then hangs up. I then called my consultant and told her my side because i didnt want it coming back to me as this mom can be very cruel if you tick her off.

Ok guys all i was asking is for a courtesy call to let me know what time she is coming and if she isnt coming. So im not sitting around. Those moms out there that have kids in care would you find this offensive? would you get mad at me for asking this one thing? and do you believe if you pay the money they should work around what you do and who cares what the provider does plan throughout the day... She is also mad because i came to her ( keep in mind i gave her 4 week notice with all this) and said i have a follow up doc app with the OB following my surgery on august 6th so my day home is closed. Then on august 12th breanna has a 2 month checkup and me a 6 week follow up after having her with our family doctor so im giving the parents an option of keeping thier kids at home and i dont charge you for that day or you can let me bring your child but i need to leave the house by 1130am. and then on the 16th is breannas 2 month immunizations so you have to have your child picked up by 6pm. ( as this is when my dayhome is closed anyways). she is mad because again im telling her this is what will happen and she is working around my plans and it should be me around hers. This mom is a mom that knows my dayhome is closed at 6pm and she says... my last show is at 530 so i will be here at 630pm to get E ... uhm no my dayhome is closed sat 6pm you need to find alternative person to grab e at 6 if you cant be here. and again she yells because she says i pay you the money you should be open until i am able to grab her. um no after 6 is my family time with my kids and husband. UGH!!!

PrairieMom replied: you were not out of line at all. She sounds very unreasonable to me. It is common courtesy to let your provider know if you are coming or not. How hard is it to drop a quick text? AND, you don't work for her, to be at her beck and call, she pays for a service from YOU. Cut your losses and be glad you don't have to deal with her.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: You're absolutely right on this.

Daycares around here (myself included, when i was doing it...) charge when the parents are late. There are of course, exceptions, and some done.. I didn't always.. but one of the parents was consistently 10 to 15 minutes late.. if it was a schedule thing, ok.. but no, this was because they'd stop for coffee on the way to pick up the kids.. sooo.. since they had to be picked up at 5, and I was teaching at 5:30 (just across the street) I started letting them know that because i have to head to my 2nd job after they pick up their children at their scheduled time at 5, it will be an extra charge when they're late. 5$ for 5 minutes. They didn't think I was serious.. but after a few days, when I gave them an extra invoice, they weren't too happy..and started pickin gup their kids right at 5.

I'm not going to be a stickler.. oh, 2$ for 2 minutes!! but seriously, they pay for your time between such and such an hour.. and that's that. They want more time, they can pay for it.

MommyToAshley replied: I don't think you are out of line on wanting a call as to whether or not her child is coming. That's not unreasonable, and I think it would be wise for security reasons as well. Does she pay you for holding the spot whether her child comes or not? Or does she only pay on the days when her child comes?

As for the doctor appointments, I can see her side of that one. If someone is counting on daycare while they work then I can understand not being able to take off so someone else can make a doctor's appointment. Is there any way you can schedule those appoiontments later, after hours?

coasterqueen replied:
I agree with Dee Dee on both accounts.

She should be able to let you know. Now granted, there are sometimes I don't know until literally the time I usually drop the girls off that they decide to go to momo's instead, type of thing. But usually I let her know the night before, etc. I also let my sitter know of any and all appointments, vacations, etc that I know in advance so she can plan around accordingly.

As far as your doc appointments, I have to agree with Dee Dee on this as well. It is very hard as a working parent to be told the sitter needs the day off for doc appointments. Trust me I went through this a lot in the beginning with mine because of all her fertility treatments. Gladly after my sitter realized how hard this was for us, she tried to schedule all appointments on the days/times she knew I'd be off or in the evenings. Otherwise, my sitter honestly said she'd take the girls with her and being that I consider my sitter to be the girls second mom I let her.

Can I ask why you need a whole day off for a doctor's appointment? I've never been told that one unless my sitter is traveling all the way to St. Louis (2 hours away) and was going through a fertility treatment that needed both her and her husband to be "available" (otherwise sitter's husband watched girls why sitter went into her appointment).

mummy2girls replied:
well just like everyone else that has any job they are entitled to doctor appointments. Just because im a caregiver and give a service of childcare does not mean i dont get the right of booking app for me and my children. Thats like your boss saying to anyone with a diff job you can have doc appointments but it needs to be done after hours. I always give the parents a good 4 week notice so they can find alternative care, or keep thier child at home or let me take thier child with me so they dont lose pay from thier work. I always take the kids with me to any appointment i have that im able to but when it includes me not clothed from the neck down then i would say i cant bring them. plus this follow up to my surgery is not an app i can just miss. doc offices are only open till the latest 6pm and i am done work at 6pm. My children and myself are entitled to doctors appointments just like any other person. I even took the kids with me to my ob appointments until it came to me getting my internal checks for dilaton then the parents had to book alternative care. plus with my agency they provide back up care. So if a parent needs care on a day thier provider took off then they set them up with a dayhome they are liscenced through them for the day...

coasterqueen replied:
Shelly, you sound like you are offended by what Dee Dee wrote (and I wrote the same thing), but please don't be. Honestly there are a LOT of employers out that they will tell you to do appointments off hours so you have to find a doc who is open early or late, etc. My mom always had a job that way, it's a pain, but she was always able to find docs that had hours to fit her schedule as well.

I think it's fine to have appointments as well, but I am curious as to why you need to whole day off? My sitter has asked for an hour or two off, but not a whole day for appointments. I know I don't go to my employer and tell them I need the whole day off for a doctor appointment. If I did that too many times...I'd be fired.

A&A'smommy replied: yeah thats nuts that mom is being crazy.. and she is the one that chose the night job so yeah your not out of line!!!

mummy2girls replied:
I do this too i bring the dayhome kids with me to my appointents. But if it consists of me being naled then i would say thats not an appropriate one to take them. And my ob, family doc, peds etc are open in evenings.

i took the whole day off because of other appointemtnts and instead of booking a day here off or here off i stuck them all in one day.

MommyToAshley replied:
True, if I was employed by someone else, then I suppose I would be entitled to days off, probably as part of their benefits package. But, then my employer would also have someone to do my job while I am off, they just don't close the business down. I think it is different when you are self-employed and your customers are counting on you (regardless of what your business is). When I go on vacation, I take my work with me and do it in the evenings.... I would be out of business if I told my clients that I was shut down for a week. If I didn't want to do that, then I think it would be my responsibility to find someone to do the work while I was gone. Again, this is just my honest opinion, I'm not trying to insult you or offend you so I hope you don't take it that way. I'm just trying to give you another perspective so maybe you can understand why she was upset about the appointments.

mummy2girls replied:
oh im not offended ... I just feel because im a caregiver i should get the entitlement of booking days off for appointments. And anyone shoudl get that entitlement as well... and again I do bring the kids with me when i can but there are app where i cant being when im not clothed for some reason. I usually bring the kids that way the parents dont lose pay from thier jobs. And i always give parents 4 weeks in advance so they figure it out. when i was preggo i knew i had to have alot opf appointments and such i just brought the kids with me. But once in a blue moon like once every 6 months i end up taking a day off to get appointments done that i cant with other kids with me...

coasterqueen replied:
This is very true.

I remember this job I wanted, an insurance job, I wanted it badly, but they told me I had to do doc appointments on the lunch hour or off business hours. I didn't take the job for that reason alone.

My SIL was an independent contractor (computer stuff, web design, etc) and she had to work the same way you do Dee Dee.

mummy2girls replied:
i do provide back up care for any parent that i take a day off for or a week for or a month for... they are providers thare through the agency im with... so i dont leave them high and dry...

MommyToAshley replied:
Well, that's a different story then... I didn'trealize this. Although, personally, I would never leave Ashley with someone I didn't know and trust 100% even if they are through an agency.

mummy2girls replied:
yes but that service is there for them to use... so they cant be mad at me for taking that time off because they have alternative care

jakesmommy08 replied: as someone who has been around this kind of stuff all my life (my mom has done state certifited inhome daycare all my life) i dont feel you are out of line at all! You are human and have dr appt and things come up where you need a day off. My mom has parents who get SO MAD if she takes a day off because shes sick (like puking and in the bathroom all night kind of sick). Seriously parents, you need to have a back up!!!! and your are giving her a notice, it wasnt like you waited till the last minute! One thing my mom does now, is in her contract she puts that its the parents responsibiltiy to have a back up just incase. and she also puts about late fees (so many parents are good at that!) and anything else she may think of, that way if the parent knows when she signs teh contract(like parents want her to work on christmas, I DONT THINK SO!). I dont think that people who dont have experience in this area really know how it is to have a business like this in your home and really understand how hard it is to do normal everyday things that most people wouldnt even think twice about doing. Things just like running errends, dr. appt. that kind of stuff. So thats my opinion, I dont think you did anything wrong, or asked for anything to much of this mom. PARENTS NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE!!!! IF YOUR NOT TAKING YOUR CHILD TO DAYCARE, BE RESPONSIBLE AND CALL THEM!!!!!!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied: As a former childcare business owner I can completely understand...also about the doctor appointment situations. I had in my extremely large parent handbook, the details of these situations in case they happen. I had so many personal days, vacation days, etc. In short, I had written that I would give them so many days notice in case I needed to have off. If I didn't give them that notice (which was 3 weeks I think), I did not charge for the day. My guidelines where very clearly written out, and parents always knew my expectations. I also gave them way more than the alotted time that I set aside in the handbook. Quarterly I wrote a letter to parents letting them know of any days I had to close...unless there were emergencies, which only happened once when Tanner needed stitches.

I understand where DeeDee is coming from, HOWEVER, this is the chance you take when you decide to take your child to a dayhome/in-home childcare. At large centers there are subs and other people to take over when a teacher is gone. In an in-home it's impossible unless you have personal backup coverage, which is rare here because we don't have "agency's" like Shelly explained. Parents know this coming into the situation, so there should be no surprise when a provider needs off. It is the parents responsibility to have a back up plan, not ours. If the daycare provider did not explain this stuff ahead of time, I'd understand the parents getting ruffled. BUT, more often than not the parents understand coming into the in-home childcare that there is not any backup care when the provider needs off. If a parent is not able to find backup care, then a dayhome/in-home center is NOT for them and they need to find care that suits their needs better! Anyone who thinks a daycare provider doesn't have the right to take vacation days is out of their mind! EVERYONE needs days off, regardless of their job title. That was one reason I ran my own business for almost 4 years...because I liked being able to take off when I wanted...within reason and having mutual respect for my clients.

In all, about the whole post...this is YOUR daycare business, NOT hers!!! She has no right dictating your policies, hours, etc. Would Walmart stay open a half hour later because she "has to work" and can only go shopping after hours???? NO!!! It would not be any different for you! I hate it when people expect us to bow at their every whim. I'm sorry, but I have a life outside of taking care of your child...RESPECT IT! We set in place our hours and guidelines for a reason, and they aren't set to be broken. If a parent doesn't agree with any guidelines set by the provider, then let the door hit'em where the good Lord split'em!!! I don't care how much money someone pays me...it doesn't give her the power to disrespect you and your business!!! She is NOT your boss, and I laugh at parents who look at it that way.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
But DeeDee, the act of you taking your business with you is much different than providers taking their business with them. You can pack up your material items and go...we can't just pack up a dozen kids and go somewhere. It's more or less comparing apples to oranges. Its not the same thing.

I should also add that when I ran my business I NEVER took advantage of taking days off when I needed them. There are some providers that do, just like there are parents who take advantage of their provider. I scheduled things very far in advance, and I never took more days than I alloted myself in my handbook every year. There has to be an equal respect between parents and providers, and I am glad that I never had any issues with my clients when it came to me taking days off....because there was always that mutual respect.

coasterqueen replied: I agree with all of what you said Jennie as long as the provider has given the person ALL that type of information up front. My sitter gave me a handbook up front with all that information in there so I knew what to expect. Although I do get ticked off when she has to unexpectedly take her dogs to the vet (4.5 hours away because that's the vet she likes) and then I have to scramble around for daycare for a whole day if not two, but otherwise we communicate and work well with each other.

So I agree, if Shelly had that all in writing up front, then the lady has no reason to be upset. Of course, luckily I am off a lot, so my sitter takes advantage of those days to do her errands and appointments, so there's not as much conflict. She also tries to take vacation the same time I do, so its easier on me. But like I said, my sitter is a part of our family now, she's a second mom to my children and she treats them as such, not as a business transaction type of thing. I think that's what many people in at-home daycare expect from their provider - that you become one giant big family. Thankfully I have that. I have that, even like when my sitter's husband was out of town and my sitter got in a wreck, she called me first. A lot of her family I know, and we've all become one big family. So I guess I'll have to say I'm glad my sitter considers me and my children family - not as business clients.

cameragirl21 replied: I don't quite understand...if she works nights, who has E at night? And if she works nights then why does she need you by day...so she can sleep? And if she's up by 1:30pm then why does she need daycare after that...isn't she home then?
You don't keep E at night, do you?
As for the question, I can see it both ways, tbh. On the one hand, she is paying a lot and if she's not bringing E fulltime then one could say she's not getting her money's worth, which is her problem, not yours. On the other hand, she chose to be a stripper and work nights just as you chose to have another baby and have sleepless nights, at least for now. That said, neither of you can really complain about these circumstances. I do think she needs to let you know if she's bringing the child or not and that that is not negotiable or debatable...you need to know who is coming each day and who isn't and tbh, I'd want to know by the time the dayhome opens, not at 10am. So no, I don't think you're being unreasonable.
As for the doc appointments, tbh, this would be a huge problem for me if I were a working mom with a child in your dayhome. And no, I don't think it's incumbent on the parents to have backup daycare...they made daycare arrangements so as not to have this problem and should not have to worry about alternative arrangements unless there were some emergency. Idk how the system works in Canada and if there are afterhours options. BUT, I do think that it's not a fair comparison to say that if you worked for someone, you'd have that option, that is part of the benefits package and is only allowed if your absence doesn't harm business for the day. And no employer I can think of will allow you to take an entire day unless you're having a baby, having surgery, or for some other extreme compelling circumstance. I can understand you wanting a whole day to get all the errands done but if I were a mom in your dayhome I'd want you to do those errands on weekends or after hours.
Shelly, from what I can see, you do a wonderful job as a daycare provider so I hope you don't think I'm taking the other lady's side or that I'm against you or whatever but I will say that if this is the case with dayhomes, that days off can be taken for doc appointments or whatever, even with 4 week notice, for me, this would be a HUGE drawback to a dayhome and would likely be reason enough for me to choose a daycare center or perhaps a nanny if I had that option. One thing to consider is that you are in competition with those daycare centers so from that perspective, I can see where the lady is coming from, if I pay someone, I want to know that I can bring my child every day of the work week and not have to worry about alternative arrangements which in all fairness, defeat the purpose of having arranged daycare.
Also, I disagree with the notion that a mom who has her child in any daycare, be it a dayhome or a center is not the provider's boss...she absolutely IS. When you are a daycare provider, imo you work for each and every parent that pays you to keep their child. That doesn't mean that they get to dictate the rules or whatnot but at the end of the day, parents leave you with the most precious thing (and I hate to use the word thing but for lack of a better term) they have and obviously they are very particular about it. Allowing someone to watch your child should be considered somewhat of an honor because that takes a lot of trust imo. That said, I think there has to be mutual respect and understanding on both sides of it and if there isn't for any reason, then yes, I'd say E's mom needs to find a new daycare situation. I also think that parents should not expect you to watch their children outside of your business hours for free. Respect goes both ways, and that includes letting the provider know if and when you will be bringing your child each day.
I also don't think I'd be keen on someone taking my child with them to doc appointments so obviously those people really trust you and think of you as family. That said, family members usually let each other have it because we know family will always be there for us, even if we act like jerks. As such, I think to a certain extent, dayhome providers will get the brunt of parents' problems sometimes, whether it's deserved or not and as much as it may be unpleasant or unfair, I suppose it's a bit of an occupational hazard and par for the course when you choose this sort of business.
JMO of course but that is how I see it.

mummy2girls replied:
She is an exoctic dancer so she gets up at 130pm drops her child at my place, goes to work and does a couple shows, she then picks her child up around 6pm takes her home and one of her friends comes over to stay with her daughter until she arrives hoem at 400am. she then sleeps till 130pm. and then its tarts over. BUT there are days she wakes up at 130pm and then doesnt call em at all and her daughter doesn't show up. so my day is completely ruined. because if i had known she wasnt coming i could of planned something or followed through with my plans with the dayhome kids. So im looped and the kids are. I have programming in my dayhome and i like to do the programming. All i was asking is a call or email or text before she heads to bed to tell me she isnt coming to daycare.... thats all.

I dont expect the dayhoem parents to have back up acre the agency provides that service and the parents know this going into it. And just because a caregiver is there to give a service of taking care of kids doesnt mean they dont get the right to have appointments. That is highly unfair. We get that right just as you do. Im sorry but i am a [parent myself and i will be taking my children to well checkups, and such. I dont think my children's health should be put on the sidelines because im a caregiver. That is ridiculous! And my follow up to my surgery that i almost died in is an appointment im not going to push aside because im a caregiver. I have every right to see my surgeon to see if i have healed properly and i have no issues to worry about. Parents coming into my place to see my dayhome and is interested in putting thier child in my care know ahead of time in writing and verbally as well that jenna has health issues and she has days where i need to take off for app's but i will give at least 4 week advance. They know this and are fine with it. This mom knew My situation with my surgery scare and such and that i will need to take time off here and there for appointments and for the baby as well because as a mom herself she knows baby's the first 6 months of life sees the ped for check ups and such and she was ok with that. so again why dont i as a working persona nd parent not get the right to have time for app's???? because it puts the parents in a position for no childcare even though i give well enough notice? well i guess those parents should have them in a daycare setting where there is always more than one caregiver to cover or a nanny...

luvbug00 replied: Look i don't care if this lady is a escort ( i don't know why her perfession is relevent or brought up at all) Look she works night shifts she has to make pretty decent money. I would do the same thing and It is honestly not possible for me to get up once i'm asleep..not to call anyone. If i'm paying my daycare provider 700 a month u better bet they should be available. When i worked in daycare all my apt were about the same after work hrs. we all do it. i don't think it's fair to hold her perfession or her schedual against her. If this is the way she provides for her kid then she has the right to expect a sitter who is accomidating. After all her hours were known when you took her on..and for that fact alot of jobs are "on call" and you don't have advanced warning. This lady needs a nanny but those are impossible epencive and she shouldn't have to bust her paychek on that. on the flip side, she should find a sitter who maybe has older kids and can take her child on. ( there is nothing wrong with having young kids but for me and maybe for her i wouldn't choose a sitter with young kids because it would not be good for my situation or theirs)

mummy2girls replied:
ok i dont care what a parent does as a job. they can be a stripper, garbage man, secretary or a nurse etc etc etc...I am available for care at all times during the day all i ask for is a courtesy call thats all. and i dont get the full 700 i get 550... And no when she came to me and wanted childcare for her child she agreed on times 12pm till 6pm. I am fine with the hours. I dont care if she is here from at 730am, 1030am, 1200pm, 2pm, 4pm...im here for whatever time. im just frustrated for the fact she doesnt call me to say she isnt coming. how fair is it to me and the other in my care that we have to sit in the house all day waiting to see if she is arriving. And if i knew her hours were when she tells me the day of care or all over the place like that then i wouldn't of signed her on. that may sound harsh but i sign clients into my home that are going to go with my programming and what i provide. If i had a parent that came to me and said i dont want you to take my kids out side the home ever or in the van to fieldtrips i would have to turn down them and find someone that is more fitting to what i provide...being if my daughter gets sick from school i have to be able to legally take all kids with me to grab her. if a parent is against that then for my dayhome i have to turn them down. Im not agaisnt what parents want for their kids.. but this is my business and the child needs to be able to fit into my daily programming. Just because people pay me to care for thier children doesnt mean im at thier beckon call and i should bow down and kiss thier feet !!!! how would you feel if your boss said right out i pay you 3000 a month so you better do what i say even if it goes agaisnt what you want to provide as a service???? would you bow down and do it? She promised 12-6. No matter what. thats what i agreed on and she agreed on.. she goes out of the contract then yes im going to cause a stink. Thats like any other job where a boss promises you your hours are from 9-5 but then if he turns around and says you have to stay and you cant get out at this time, and you better stay till so and so you'll just sit back and say yes sir i will...

Boo&BugsMom replied: Shelly, I would like to reiterate that I don't think you are being one bit unreasonable. I have been there, in those shoes...and people who haven't (not saying anyone inparticular here) ran their own daycare business generally have no idea all of what it takes and all the BS that goes with it until they have been in those shoes. Paying someone or not...guidelines are guidelines...and I would not have someone who is that disrespectful enrolled in my daycare. She is "one of those" who expects the world to bend over backwards over for her just because she's paying for a service. People expect you to be super human and assume you'll work 24/7. Nope...sorry...get real.

ETA: It also shouldn't matter if she is asleep or not. Whoever is watching her kid can call!!!!!!

mummy2girls replied:
thats the kicker.. no one is watching her kid when she sleep till 130pm. she sends teh sitter home at 4am when she gets home and then goes to bed. her daughter wakes up and she roams the house by herself as she sleeps... and she told me this herself...

Boo&BugsMom replied: You know Shelly, I also had a parent like this that never called. I started just going about my day no matter what. If we were leaving to go down to the park, I wouldn't care...I would just go. It's not fair to the other kids to sit around waiting to do their activities and fun stuff just because someone else isn't there yet. So, I started just going about my day, would travel down to the park not caring anymore. After about half a dozen times of the parent coming here, seeing we were gone, and having to travel down to the park to drop off her kid, she finally got the hint. I also instilled a policy....if someone didn't call by a certain time, then I assumed the child wasn't coming and the child was not allowed in care that day. Trust me...I have played the gamed back...and I always won. I of course understood sometimes things happen...but it is never unreasonable to ask for COMMUNICATION...which I clearly mark as one of my #1 priorities in my handbook. Put it this way...what if you decided to just close for the day and not call the parents??? It's really no different...it's called communication...and adults should know how to do this!

luvmykids replied: I see both sides here. As a parent, if I'd had a boss other than DH it would send me into a panic if I hadn't had care for the kids one day. However, with four weeks notice, I'd also have time to make other arrangements. It's not like you take days off every week.

And, having used a day home rather than a center, I understood she could be sick and unable to open or have any other kind of emergency that meant I was stuck for the day....it was a chance I took and it worked out beautifully for all of us.

Yes, you agree to provide care during certain hours and I paid whether we were there or not so I can see feeling like she doesn't have to tell you, her spot is paid for and if she uses it or doesn't, you still get paid. BUT, some set schedule or a phone call would be common courtesy. I'm like Nadia, once I'm asleep there is no waking me up for five minutes to make a phone call (although the kids wake me up by breathing too heavy LOL!) so I'm sure she just sees it as a pain. You know what? Let her...she's entitled to her opinion, you're done with her.

I don't think the issue here is her job, or her hours, or that her kid is unsupervised for part of the day; really what she does when you're not watching her child is none of anybody's business... bottom line is it just isn't working out for the two of you, it's over, now you can both be happy

coasterqueen replied:
I agree. In the end, it doesn't matter what any of us thinks (agree or disagree) - that mother/child was not the right fit for YOUR day home situation. Plain and simple.

I, personally, would probably not fit with your day home. I don't need a provider to be at my beck and call, but I do believe I pay for a service and I shouldn't have to pay for days off - except the vacation days that are in my contract. Those vacation days should be used for sickness/appt./extra. Although, my sitter does take many days here and there not counted in her vacation BUT we are always able to work out a way so it's not an inconvenience for either one us us, thank goodness. Her husband or sister will watch the girls. She'll take them with her. One of us takes off or I take them to work with me (thank goodness I have that ability). Or we are able to find a family member to watch them without any inconvenience. So we have several choices. I feel for those who don't, but I think they should find a place that best suits all their needs as well. I, also personally, need at at-home provider who believes my children aren't just part of a business or contract. My children are Terri's (my sitter) kids as well. Her and I just sync so well and our families sync so well. I would be appalled if Terri felt like her day home was more of a business - thankfully she doesn't. She can't have kids so her day home is a way to be around children more and she loves what she does -- it's not just a paycheck for her. Maybe that's why she hasn't raised her rates in 7 years either (thank goodness ). She also asks to take my kids out to dinner or have them spend the night. She IS like a family member to us. I think that's how most people who seek out at-home care feel that they want when they go with that type of care. Otherwise, if I didn't, I'd just go to a daycare center where I never had to worry about my provider needing off or getting sick/need doc appointments.

Shelly, again, don't worry about if any of us disagree with you. You have a dayhome with set rules and if someone can't follow them then well, you and them are not a fit and that is fine -- move on. I can't figure out why that woman pays so much money, though, and agreed to rules she can't live with. You would never catch me paying that kind of money anyways I pay less than that for two kids in care all day! You be rollin in the dough hun! Doesn't an agency pay you as well?

mummy2girls replied:
well because im liscecned through an agency there is agency fees on top of my fees the parents pay. I charge 550 full time and the agency charges 125 per child with full timers. so in total the mom pays 675.00 So no im not rolling in teh dough because i get 550 per child and i only am able to have 4 kids in care because i have 2 already.

And just a side note. I do think of my dayhome as my business BUT I think of the kids in my dayhome like my own. I dont do this job just to make an easy paycheck because believe me its not easy. I love any child that should come into my home and i treat them as my own.

And i dont expect her to wake up in the middle of her sleep to call me. She comes home at around 4am ( not every night) and before she goes to bed she can quickly text me/email me saying her daughter isnt coming then she can sleep as long as she wants during the day. This whole thing got twisted into something really big and all I wanted was a courtesy call/email..etc. Just so i can plan around when she is arriving. There has been many times where she picks her child up on a monday night and says E will be here tomorrow at 1230pm. so i go about my day plan an outing for after lunch when E gets here. and then 2pm rolls around and she still isnt here. I call E's mom just to see if she is coming here and she says no i decided to keep her home. Ok a call at 1230pm when she was suppose to drop her off or even 1pm would to me would be courtesy for me and my dayhome kids because that outing to teh park or zoo that i planned and the kids were excited to go on is cancelled because at 2pm its too late as parents arrive soon for pick up...

coasterqueen replied: Shelly, I agree she is being very inconsiderate of you and your time. I would never be that way to my provider.

Hopefully you fill the spot and find someone that meshes with your home.

mckayleesmom replied: Personally I think that if you chose a dayhome over a daycare center then you should expect that the provider would need to take days off occassionally. I think you gave her plenty of notice. Its not fair for the other kids you take care of. They also have parents that pay you good money to keep children safe and entertained.

redchief replied:
Freudian slip?