Birthday Party FREAK OUT

Our Lil' Family wrote: Why does this always happen. I was aware that a party at the zoo was not going to be cheap but I had figured it out and it would be very slightly more, or the same, as last year and I would have to do nothing but the invitations and show up....so worth it to me! So I had made a list of the kids I could afford to invite and that was it. Well of course that list has now grown. A very dear friend of mine asked me yesterday what she could buy Thomas for his birthday....mouth to the floor! She has 2 girls, one 2 years older than Thomas and one 2 years younger. I hadn't planned on inviting them. She invited us to her older daughter's party last year, first time, but we couldn't go. Now I have to invite them...which is fine but I cannot afford to pay for both kids. I have the same problem with 2 other friends and their younger children. After the 1st 8 kids I have to pay $12 per child! I can't pay for infants!!!!! What do I do?

And here, both parents attend parties, unless impossible.....adults are $6.50 each...I have about 25 adults going!!!!! I absolutely cannot change locations...Thomas asks me EVERY DAY about his party! He knows where it is.

Calimama replied: This may be HORRIBLE etiquette but I'd make it clear to the parents that this party is for the child Thomas' age, and any extra siblings they bring, they have to pay for KWIM?

Is there a group rate you can get for the adults? Hang in there.. it'll come together.

amynicole21 replied: You do NOT need to cover the parents for one. Also, the mom with multiple kids - I would tell her that you can cover child "x" who is Thomas' age, but hadn't planned on the entire family. Of course they are welcome to come, but would she mind chipping in? People will understand, trust me!

Our Lil' Family replied: Let's just add fuel to this fire...I have to feed these people, or I feel that I have to. I wanted the party at 10 and then everyone could walk around afterwards. Well that spot was taken so I had to get the 12:30 spot which means we will probably visit the zoo before the party, like from 10-12...then I feel obligated to buy everyone's lunch....

Our Lil' Family replied: But they tally your bill in the party room....so yeah, I do have to pay for the parents...I mean I can't start a collection for adults to pay for themselves. It would be easier on me if they did the tally at the entrance but that's not how it works. I'm really seeing that this was a bad idea now.

Calimama replied:
No, I'd only buy the CHILDRENS (not the siblings) lunch. Surely people don't expect you to pay for mom, dads, little brothers/sisters, tickets AND lunch?

Our Lil' Family replied:
Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm sure bowling parties are similar huh?

A&A'smommy replied: yikes thats why we ended up not doing the zoo party this year even though we all really wanted to!!! I agree with everyone else!!

Our Lil' Family replied: Received good news today. The zoo went up on their prices AFTER I paid my deposit so they will honor the old prices for me. WHEW!!! $75 for the first 8 kids (new is $100), $9/kid after that (new price is $12!), adults are $5.50 each. SO, I'm not as stressed. DH said we'd make it happen somehow! I'm still going to address the invitations to the invited child only, no sibling....hopefully that'll work.

CantWait replied: Even though you're still getting the same rates, really you shouldn't be expected to pay for sibblings and parents. It's not good ettiquette on their part to expect that. They will be more then understanding.

Our Lil' Family replied: If they are in the party room, I have to pay for them...I'm okay with that, not much choice anyway. As for lunch, I'm going to state on the invitation that lunch will be provided for friends of the birthday boy. Can't please them all.

Teesa®© replied: My DS was invited to a birthday party and the mom went around and talked to the parents of the children who were invited and let us know that she was paying for the child that was invited, BUT us parents would have to pay for themselves and any other extra child. None of us other parents were offended in the least by her request. What hubby and I did was just buy ours and DD's meals on our own, then it wasn't included in the party price for the birthday mom to accidentally end up with. We weren't quite sure how it would work, so we did it that way just in case.

Worse comes to worse, you could suddenly become "ill" and have to cancel... lol

MommyToAshley replied: I agree, you shouldn't have to pay for the parents and siblings. I would write on the invitation "siblings are welcome and tickets are availabe for $x each".

I'd talk to the person that will be hosting the party and let them know that although some siblings and parents will be at the party, they are self-paying and ask them if they can collect from each parent. I am sure they run into this often and have a way of collecting from multiple sources.

I ran into the same thing at Chuck E Cheese... which is a lot cheaper than the zoo. A lot of people brought siblings, and then there were all these parents. I am sure no one expected it, but I bought a couple of extra pizzas and sat them at a different table than the party table but close by. the parents and siblings had some pizza, and I offered them some of the cake, but the siblings didn't get any of the extras like tokens, goodie bags, etc. The party would have been triple the size and Ashley didn't even know most of the siblings... people understood and most bought the siblings a few dollars in tokens on their own.

lisar replied: We just went to a b-day party at the zoo. And the Mom made it clear that she wasnt paying for the adults to get in. Or the kids that she didnt invite. Or thought were to young. Just put it on the invitation. I know you dont wanna hurt anyones feelings but you also dont want them to break your wallet either.