Batter up! - We have a screamer …AGAIN!

BAC'sMom wrote: Anyone have any advice on how to deal with a 6’3’ ex Navy Seal Little League coach that screams at the top of his lungs? Then expects the kids to relax and keep their head in the game? This the second year that we have had this man as a coach, and I am totally at the end of my rope and I still have 18 games to go.
He has my son so nervous that everytime he comes up to bat he strikes out.

Help!

kayla's mama replied: I don't have any advice I always thought that playing sports as a child is supposed to be fun. I get so angry when the coaches take it too far. It is just a game. That coach just needs to relax and let the kiddos enjoy playing the game for the sport of it.

BAC'sMom replied: Thanks! That is my theory too. I just don’t know what to do about the situation. I also don’t understand why coaches have to be such drill sergeants and get off to terrifying players. Chastising my child about his batting stance and striking out EVERY time at bat is not very motivating.

I could actually see my son's legs shaking last night when he was in the batter's box. Now how fun does that sound?

JP&KJMOM replied: Oh Jimmie I am so sorry. Do other parents feel the same way? Maybe you could get a few of them together and talk to him about it. Not be hateful just make him understand that he scares the kids!

Kaitlin'smom replied: send supernanny out?

really what are other parents feelings? maybe some one needs to say something to him. It deffinalty does NOT sound like fun and I woudl not want my child in an enviroment like that. It my spoil sports for good.

BAC'sMom replied: Yes, a few of us parents have talked and they don't seem to like his attitude either. But it seems to me that Brandeis is being ridiculed the most, butt of the jokes if you will. For instantance this is the first year for Brand to play with a kid pitching, the previous year it has been coach pitch. KWIM! So he is a little nervous because he has seen kids get hit with the ball, heck he got hit last year in the face by a pop fly. Ok no big deal, he loves the game and wanted to sign up so we did. But at the first practice as soon as he saw that he had the freaking yelling, jump up and down and throw your hat coach. He said oh, Mom not him again! From the time that Brand walks out of the dugout to go bat this coach is on his ass he is so worried about looking at the coach to see what he is screaming about that he doesn’t have time to get into position. He is constantly looking over at the coach, not the ball! I just want to scream… back off… shut up…. and let him try! How can you concentrate when someone is screaming at you! So then what does he do he sits him on the bench till about the 4th or 5th inning then put him in the outfield. Brandeis has always played 1st or 2nd or shortstop. Now I am not even one of those parents my son’s great, he’s the best player in the world. He’s not…. but he is 9, give him a break! It’s not the freaking world series ! These are fragile little ego we are dealing with. He is so discouraged that he doesn’t even want to play anymore. Now that is SAD!

mckayleesmom replied: Some coaches forget that the game is for the kids...Do you have his address? I would write him an anonymous note telling him what a jack*** he looks like yelling at the kids. Remind him who the game is for and tell him to pipe down.

luvmykids replied: Poor Brand! That sounds so awful for him, I know he loves his baseball and it's so wrong that a coach of all people could ruin it for him! Is this through the school or another league? Is there a higher up type that the parents could go to? Has anyone ever talked to this guy one on one, without cutting him off at the knees, which it sounds like he needs, but just to say hey, the kids are nervous, could we try a different approach?

Good luck, give Brand an extra hug.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I would be right up front with him, but in private. Maybe have some of the other concerned parents to back you up with their opinions of him, too. Tell him flat out how you feel, how it is more damaging to Brand's game play, and to other kids play than the good that he thinks that he may be doing for them.

That is just me though. No one is going to holler at my kids. Whatever good he thinks he is doing, or whatever his intentions are they are WRONG! Even if it meant pulling him out, and putting him on another team, I would do that.

Not trying to belittle you, but I would say something sooner than later. 18 games plus any post season games they may have is a long time.

paradisemommy replied: have you tried looking for another team to play on? maybe give some one on one with brand so that he knows what to do..build his ego up and keep telling him to ignore the coach..give him strategies to bypass the coaches attitude..

BAC'sMom replied:

Putting him on another team is not an option….I think that would cause further problems. We have told our son from the get go to be respectful listen to Coach (Joe Navy seal) but don’t let him get in your head. Go out there do your best… get in the batter’s box… focus…watch the ball and hit it. So far that has not worked. The coach starts on him the second he walks out of the dung out. GET IN TO POSITION… GET YOUR ELBOW UP…RELAX….NO THAT ONE WAS TOO LOW…RELAX….THAT ONE WAS TO HIGH…OK NOW YOU BETTER HIT THE NEXT ONE. WTF!?! Who can relax when your yelling at the top of your lungs. We have decided to work more with Brand getting in the batter’s box, get situated, focus ON THE PITCHER and the ball coming ….not the coach. And I am going to drink a six pack before I go to the game….

Any other suggestions?

JP&KJMOM replied:

Best thought I have heard so far!

ashtonsmama replied: Oh wow. Good luck. That's all I can say. Crazy man!

BAC'sMom replied: Well Brandeis had a baseball game last night. Before we left the house, I told him when it is your time for you to bat, go out there get in the box…get into position…..and don’t take your eye off the pitcher. If your coach starts yelling ignore him and focus on the pitcher and the ball. There is no reason to be looking at your coach (who is at 3rd base) when you are at bat. After all he is not throwing the ball to you. I tried to explain that there are screamers in the world and sometimes you just have to look the other way.

So….

He struck out once and got walked once.

But the cutest thing was when were leaving the game after it was over, he told well Mom I ignored him and got on to 1st base this time. So maybe at the game Saturday I will hit and make it all the way home. Hey, that’s progress.

redchief replied:
Well, I'm more the "if I have something to say I say it to your face type," sooooo... That's how I got certified in four sports as a coach. "

My eldest son had a screamer too. I told him his behavior was inappropriate and that I would call him out in the middle of a game if he did it again. He said, "Fine, you think you can do better, YOU coach 'em." So I did. Was I a great coach? Probably not, but the kids respected me and so did the officials.

The "screamer" (I love that description by the way) came to us (at that time I was assistant coach with another great dad as head coach) three years later, contrite and said he missed coaching and since his younger son was now on the team (I'd taken over when his older son was on the team), could he be involved? The head coach, knowing of our past, asked me how I felt about it. I said I'd be okay with him on board if he acted like an adult.

There were times he looked like he would burst, he wanted to revert to the old so badly, but he didn't. The following year, and Rick's last playing for the team, the "screamer" was head coach again, but I stayed on as assistant and the guy behaved himself. He still coaches kids today. I hope he learned a little, but I've seen him go off on refs in the middle of games recently and I'm glad I don't have to deal with him any longer.

BAC'sMom replied: Bump

jcc64 replied:

Thanks for bumping these other threads- definitely sheds more light on the situation. Sounds like the coach is a difficult guy to deal with, and I'm sorry, but I have to just shed a teeny bit of light on your quote above. Actually, kids are SUPPOSED to look to their coach when they are in the batter's box and he is on 3rd. The coach will give them certain strategic messages, through signs, about what he wants them to do- i.e.- bunt, take a pitch, protect the plate, etc... This is something every kid is taught to do, if being coached properly. All of the instructions you are speaking of, are obviously counterproductive- tying your poor son up in knots. Batting is so incredibly psychological- if you're too nervous or over-thinking, it's virtually impossible to hit the ball. Sounds like the coach is trying to help him with his technique, but is obviously doing it at the wrong time in the wrong way. Maybe dh should deal with him- sounds like a macho dude who would respond better to another guy.
Try to get your little guy to hang in there. Don't let this jerk ruin it for him.