Bad words

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: Ugh! I forgot to tell you guys that Wil's new favorite word is the D word. As in dang it - but the bad way of saying it. He says it whenever he is mad or doesn't get his way or can't figure out how to do something. Our ST recommended to just ignore it. But it is getting hard. I'm so embarassed, because I know both DH and I say it from time to time, but we really make a HUGE effort never to curse in front of the kids. He is also talking back a lot....Saying things like "stop it mommy" or "leave me alone". I really feel like I'm failing you guys. I know I post about Wil's behavior at least once a week...I apologize if it's getting old, but I'm really at a loss with him. I'm thinking of taking some Love & Logic courses, but they aren't cheap. I read one of the books, but it just seems like they are to be used on older kids. He is such a smarty pants lately.

I guess my question is, do you just ignore it when your kids curse? I know that when I make a big deal about it, tell him no or put him in TO, he just says it more for the attention. But I really can't handle him using it! What if he says it in preschool!

moped replied: Jack says Crap!!!

Insanemomof3 replied: I have no advice for you just and I know how you feel. Tristan does this too. I tried to get him to just say dang and most of the time it works until he gets REALLY mad. Then all bets are off. LOL Demetri is doing the same thing now too. It will go away I am sure, just takes a while.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
So what do you do when he says it Jen?

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Thanks Denise, glad I'm not the only one. I guess it could always be worse. My ST said her daughter who is 2.5 says the F word all the time. Yelled it about fifty times in the middle of a restaurant. She said the more you tell them to stop, the more they say it, so just ignore it as best you can.

Do you guys have a hard time keeping a straight face when your kids curse? It makes me mad at first, but the way he says it...in that little toddler voice, just cracks me up sometimes.

Insanemomof3 replied: OMG i can't keep a straight face at all. I have to laugh. I try to hide it, but not sure it works. LOL

A&A'smommy replied: OMG the f word is WAY worse than dang it I had this probably with Alyssa and now anything that is bad (including WAR EAGLE ) she wont say.. but it just took me saying "no ma'am that is a bad word" and she quit saying it she stern but not too stern and down on the child's level BUT OMG at least its not the F word and I'm sure they have heard worse at preschool

My3LilMonkeys replied:
I don't get it?


Brooke has repeated a few, but never more than once each. I just told her it wasn't a nice word and she listened.

As for the talking back, I am getting a TON of that lately. I've tried ignoring, time outs, telling her it's not polite, and nothing is working so far.

luvmykids replied: Post whenever you need to Rae

We've had bouts of cussing and TBH it bothers me a lot more than it does DH (probably because he's the one they hear it from) but I don't take it lightly. I laugh at first but thats before the mad sets in

I'm old fashioned on this one...I tell them in no uncertain terms that they are not to use whatever word it is and if they do it again, I'll wash their mouth out with soap. I may get bashed for that but I promise they don't repeat the same word twice

my2monkeyboys replied: Will has said a few ugly words over the last year or so. The worse being when he yelled "what the f*&^?" in a restaurant right after a waiter dropped a tray (nice and silent so everyone could hear!). Not sure where he got that as that's one thing DH and I don't say around him. Other words like da*n and h@ll we've said, so I know that's where he got it. We just tell him he's not allowed to say ugly words, regardless of who he hears say it. I don't think it's a big deal, as it is just a word, KWIM? So I haven't spanked him or anything like that for it... yet. So far he's listened when we've told him not to.
And we're on another back-talking stage right now. It seems to run about every 2 months we'll have to deal with it for a week or so (when I say deal I mean that we take care of it, not just ignore it or what ever), then he'll be good again for a while.
Anyway, hope this helps!

bawoodsmall replied: Emily is almost four and the sassing that girl can give makes me want to wring her neck. She has never been a cusser. She of course has cussed but not within the last year. When she did cuss I never ignored it. I always explained to her that little girls cant talk like that and put her in time out. My sis on the other hand chose the ignore it method. Her son is exactly a month younger than Em. That worked to so I think it just takes time for them to grow out of it. I do think it is worse if you give them this huge reaction.

moped replied:
Well considering it is my favorite word I can't say much - but I do ignore it

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Yeah, I don't get what that means either.

Monica, my mom washed my mouth out with soap once and I NEVER said what I said again, no way! I think I had called her the B word. It really does work....and I certainly don't see anything wrong with it when my kids are a bit older. Eww that soap tastes bad! Oh and my DH totally doesn't think it's a big deal either. His parents cursed around him all the time and just laughed it off. Even to this day, at 32 years old, I STILL feel really awkward using a curse word around MY parents.

I haven't heard the D word for a while now, so maybe ignoring it has worked on Wil. We'll see. I'm really glad to know that you all have had the same experience with your kiddos. They really are little sponges. I have to be careful what he is watching on tv too lately...I have given in to Sponge Bob.

Bamamom replied:
War Eagle is the battle of of Auburn. Saying the F word would be more acceptable at our house.

Go Bama. Roll Tide!

A&A'smommy replied:
Yeah oops don't know why I thought everyone would understand that (duh jessica not everyone is from alabama ) Yeah "war eagle" is Auburn's Fight whatever

I didn't really tell her it was a bad word lol whenever someone would try and get her to say "war eagle" I would jump in and say OHH nooo don't say that ewww LOL and laugh she thought it was funny but she will NOT say "war eagle" for anyone not even her daddy (big time Auburn fan) So we say ROLL TIDE!!!

Brias3 replied: Mason was saying the s word for awhile. It didn't seem that bad, because he would mispronounce it and it would come out "sit", but he used it in the proper context so I always knew what he was REALLY saying

sweetpeasof3 replied:
How can't we?

Boo&BugsMom replied: I NEVER ignore it. IMO, ignoring it just tells him that it's ok to say the word, but that's just my parenting style. In our house there are consquences if swear words are said. Tanner has gotten his mouth washed with soap once when he got really out of hand. To say the least, he is pretty good about not repeating bad words if he is told to not say them. We nipped it pretty quick.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: Rae, whatever you do please DONT stop posting your posts regarding Wil's misbehaving................................... because I swear everything you post about him, I could have posted about Sammy !

For awhile, Sam was saying GD. He was saying it alot. For awhile I ignored it and that didnt seem to work. Then I started telling him that was a bad word and please do not say it. I told him if Grandma heard him say GD,,,,that it would make her heart very sad. Anyway,,,,over time he just quit saying it. To tell you the truth,,, I dont know if anything I did actually worked. Sometimes I think he just grew tired of it and moved on to something bigger and better. LOL

Hang in there, ,girl !

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Thanks! That means a lot. I had a SUPER difficult day with him today. He wouldn't stop hurting Wesley. It was very intentional too because he kept looking to see if I noticed. So he would go in TO, but he would just do it again and again and again. I even tried my best to keep my cool so that he wasn't enjoying the "making a big deal". But it continued until he finally slammed Wesley's poor fingers in my hope chest. So instead I started to put him in his room...That happened about three times until he finally fell asleep. And I don't even care that he is asleep at 4pm. I'm so exhausted by him. As awful as that sounds, he really is busting my a$$.

luvmykids replied:
How often/how long does he nap during the day? Could some part of his behavior be that he is tired? When you said he fell asleep it made me wonder b/c when the twins were his age, if they didn't nap right after lunch they were unbearable.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied:
Sorry you had such a bad day. Somedays are so rough for me,,,that I actually wonder if being a SAHM isnt for me. (even though its what I've wanted since I was a child myself). 2 yr olds sure do know how to push those buttons, dont they ?!

Regarding Wil intentionally hurting Wes -- I've been wanting to let you know that all of a sudden,,, out of the blue,,,,last week,,,Sammy pretty much just stopped pushing Abby all the time. He verbally bosses her around and he can be 'rough' with her BUT he's not constantly pushing her down onto her butt like he'd been doing for the last 6 months. He's actually initiated a few hugging sessions.
Sure, he's pushed her a few times here and there. Mostly when she's grabbed a toy of his and suddenly he decides he wants to play with that toy. But, for the most part - the pushing is not nearly as bad as it had been. I can FINALLY see a dim light at the end of this looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong tunnel.

I've been wanting to tell you this so that you know there is hope ! Hang in there, sister and keep the Faith!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
I always "try" and get him down after lunch, around 1ish, but it's hit or miss. Usually miss. He really fights going down these days. I always make him have quiet time in his room, but he doesn't always sleep. But yes, he is completely unbearable if he doesn't nap and (sometimes) an angel if he does. There is definitely a difference when he does.

I've tried it all - getting him out early doing something really active to tire him out and I've even tried driving around so he falls asleep. But it doesn't always work. Saturday he was up at 4:30am, had his birthday party at Pump It Up which should have exhausted him, and he still didn't nap or go down until about 8pm! He is one active kid.

Totally a different topic, but I'm starting to worry that there may be other issues. My ST said that he may have sensory disorder (I can't remember if that's the exact name). I need to do my research. But Wil certainly seems bothered by touch, sound and the environment, like wind. He gets really worked up. Which results in bad behavior. When this happens, all the hard work goes out the window. He talks like a baby and he seriously loses it. Today was our last ST session, so she is going to talk to the organization to see if they can send a behavior specialist out. It feels like its never ending.....one issue after the next. I don't blame Wil for any of this, it is not intentional or manipulative IMO, but it really is wearing on me. Thanks for listening...

A&A'smommy replied: I do hope they send someone over it sounds like you could use some help!!! You know were always here for you to talk to!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Ok, I have to take back something I said. I usually do not ignore it (esp. if it's a really bad word), but there was a situation where I had to. Tanner went through this rhyming faze and he thought of the word "boobie" one day. Hadn't a clue as to what it was, but he liked the sound of the word. I suppose it does sound funny to a 4 year old..."Boobie". For the longest time I would scold him for it, but he NEVER stopped saying it. Finally I just had to ignore it and he finally stopped. If it would have been a big swear word, it would have been BIG trouble, I wont tolerate most of the 4 letter words , but boobie was sort of out there so I didn't know what to think of it. We'd be in the store and he'd shout "BOOBIE". He eventually stopped when I stopped giving him attention for it.

On another level, also because he was rhyming....he was rhyming with the word truck one day and guess what word he came up with? Yep! Fruck without the r!!! In the middle of Walmart and he shouts "TRUCK, DUCK, ****"! THAT one I put a stop to right away. OMG, you should have seen the look on some people's faces.

That boobie one though...nothing worked except for ignoring and I don't know why because I didn't have to ignore other ones that came my way.

grapfruit replied: Rae,

I was thinking about what you were saying w/Wil's behavior. It sounds REALLY similar to my ex-landlord's daughter's behavior. She was awful, Nancy would be in tears b/c of her behavior.

Some of the things that helped were buying her a "heavy" blanket (special blanket that has shot gun "shots" in it to make it really heavy) It helped her get to sleep for some reason.

When she was getting out of control Nancy would make her pick up heavy pillows and put them in a box. The "heaviness" of them and the repetition calmed her down.

I know she did other things but I can't remember what. I know she was getting some occupational therpy and music therapy. See her son is on the autisum spectrum, so they tested Katie (the daughter). Not surprisingly she was on the spectrum too. The only "side effect" was the behavior issues. And some sensory issues as well. Clothes "hurt" or were too "tight". Things like that.

She was horrid at school as well. I haven't talked to her in awhile (since we bought a house and she's not my land lord anymore) but from what I understand the therapy was helping a ton. She wasn't acting out in school any more and she had chilled out a ton at home too.

Good luck!!

My2Beauties replied: Hanna has said quite a few not so nice words in her day and normally if I say that's a bad word I don't want to hear you say it again - that suffices. So I don't have much hepl there but want to offer As far as the behavior - oh girl Hanna is HORRIBLE some days. I mean she will flat out tell me NO and will do the exact opposite of everything I say some days - I have been in near tears myself before.