Bad News - :(

Mommy2Isabella wrote: I took Bella to the peds. this morning. She is jaundiced but not that bad.

However, I asked the ped. about the engorgement and any suggestions. Well, come to find out, my HORMONES are crazy, as many of you know, we had twins in the beginning. He said my body is making enough milk more than likely for "both" babies. So, his only suggestion was to pump between feedings. But I would have to pump a great deal inbetween each feeding.

Long story short, we decided we were going to stop breastfeeding. Big downer for me, as I feel I am inadequate to feed her.

Though, I am feeling a lot better about a lot of things. I was getting the blues. It hit me hard on Sunday but I am doing much better now.

Just thought I would let you guys know how everything went. Bella, took to the formula QUITE nicely so that made us happy. I am glad that she is eating better because with BF it was hard and stressful for her as well as me, because of the severe engorgement.

Now we are just trying to dry up the milk, and that isn't the most pleasant experience but it is was we think is best. Speaking of which, do any of you have any tips on that? < drying up your milk.

Thanks for all the support guys. I am really sad that it came down to me not being able to BF, but there was no way I would be able to keep up with the pumping and sleeiping ...

coasterqueen replied:

wow, I'd have to say I've never heard of a woman's body making milk for two? I thought it was all a supply and demand thing and your body only makes what your baby is intaking. Off to do some research on this for my own knowledge.

Glad she's taking to formula.

ZandersMama replied: sorry it didnt work out for you

Mommy2Isabella replied: Thats what the doc said. I am making WAY more than she is drinking. , I suppose it could be hormones, or the doc is full of it. LOL and just didn't feel like helping me out. Who knows. But we have already started the process. Unfortunately it has me taking tylenol every 4 hours to keep me from getting a high fever. ... if you find any information if you could share, that would be great

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Karen is right, your body doesn't make milk for two...it only supplies what baby needs. In the beginning we are all engorged. I think you may have been misinformed and if you still want to breastfeed, it is possible. The discomfort goes away within a week or two.

However, I completely understand if you decided it just wasn't for you, but I would hate for you to give up b/c you were given the wrong information. Peds don't always know about these things...you can contact an LC for more support and information.

For now, I'm glad she is eating well.

AlexsPajamaMama replied: Sounds like you are doing what you think is best for your baby, sorry to hear BF didn't work out for you!

There isnt anything wrong with formula feeding...I was a proud FF Momma!

coasterqueen replied: Well if you want my honest opinion I've never ever heard of that before. It's all a supply demand thing. Many women experience severe engorgment. I did with both my girls. I had it 10x worse with Megan. It was absolutely horrible. All the tips I posted for you in the other thread will help relieve it, but you also have to be patient. It WILL go away, but not as fast as you or anyone of us would like it to. Pumping anymore than for minor relief is only going to prolong the problem. I can't even see why a doc would tell you to pump. Pumping is signaling the body that you need to make MORE milk,hence the cycle would never be borken.

You can take tylenol and motrin to help relief the pain and yes, you have to worry about getting mastitis, that's why all the tips I posted will help the process go faster.

In the end you have to do what you want to do, but I truly believe you have been misinformed. And it's never to late to go back to BF.

amymom replied: I am glad that she is doing well. Good luck to you on getting relief.

BAC'sMom replied: I believe you have been misinformed too.

Wish you the best and congrats on your bundle of joy.

5littleladies replied: I know how frustrating this can be. I'd just like to second what Karen said. It's never to late to try again. I always have terrible problems with engorgement. With Lissa, I was so engorged I could barely put a bra on. I sat in bed with cabbage leaves on for an hour at a time (that actually helped btw!). It usually takes me 2 weeks for my engorgement to subside and my milk supply to regulate. Please don't quit because you have gotten misinformation. Also, Tylenol is a safe drug to take while breastfeeding, so don't worry about that.

I quit breastfeeding my first daughter temporarily due to many problems-engorgement being one of them. I found that temporary break gave me the lift I needed to start again. It took awhile but we eventually got it figured out!

And if you feel you just can't do it, don't feel bad. You have to do what you feel is best for you and baby. You aren't letting her down.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
What kind words, Jen. This is absolutely true!! Your mental health is so important here and don't ever feel bad or feel like you are letting your baby down.

luvmykids replied: Soooooo many women (myself included) have many, many ups and downs with BF. Whatever you feel is best is ultimately what IS best for you and your situation. I agree though, that if you still feel strongly about wanting to BF, an LC could help you. Either way, don't beat yourself up and take care of you and your precious little girl.

Jamison'smama replied: I just have to second--or third that I was extremely engorged in the beginning as well--by week 2 or 3 things were better and better-- I would SOAK pads and flood my kids but it did subside but as Karen said---never as quickly as one would like. I agree that you will do what you feel is best for you and your daughter but if you want to breastfeed--I promise things get better very quickly.

MyLuvBugs replied:
Get some cabbage. peal a couple leaves off and smush them up a bit. Then place the smushed leaves on your boobies for about 1/2 - 1 full hour with some ice packs on top several times a day, and DO NOT stimulate them in anyway. That should help dry you up and help with some swelling.

If you're still wanting to try to BF, engorgment is easily fixed. Just takes some patience. Try to pump or manually express a little milk before trying to latch Bella on. Also hot showers are GREAT for engorged breasts. Also, the cabbage leaves can help with engorgement also, just use them a couple times a day for only like 20 minutes or so.

But if you're set on doing formula...Good for you!! So long as you all are happy, I'm happy for ya.

CantWait replied: Jessica, I just wanted to offer you support. It certainly is your decision, however I wanted to let you know that I stopped bf my first baby due to misguided information my doctor gave me and lack of information.

It is fustrating and it certainly doesn't come naturally by any means.

You know what's best for you and baby though.

amynicole21 replied: Ugh - these idiot doctors! What are they doing?!?

Almost all women are engorged in the first few days (weeks). Your body makes too much to make sure there is enough to feed the baby, then when the baby doesn't drink all of it, your body adjusts the amount it is making.

If you decide that bfeeding is really not for you, then please be careful about getting engorged - mastitis is really no fun.

Good luck to you!

Our Lil' Family replied: Jessica, I too know what it's like to have a hard time breastfeeding and getting the blues due to that. That is also the reason I stopped so early on. Don't worry about feeling inadequate! My husband was upset that I quit so soon but this is what I asked him, "would you rather have a miserable mom/wife or a breastfeeding one?" and his answer was I'd rather you be happy!

About drying up, here's what my OB nurse told me...get in a HOT shower, hand express what you can, get out, put on a tight bra and wrap yourself up TIGHT with an ace bandage for at least 3 or 4 days. You can shower but be careful not to stimulate the boobs and once you get out do the same thing again. When I called her I was in so much pain and once I wrapped myself up I never felt the pain again! I hope it works for you as well sweetie!

holley79 replied: Jessica sweetie, I hope you get some relief.

Just as everyone hear has said, I was engorged beyond belief my first 3 weeks. I had to hand pump to relieve some of the pressure for Annika to latch on. If it's easier, maybe you could just pump and give to Bella in a bottle. I do know the BM helped the jaundice in Annika.

CosmetologyMommy replied: ok, many people do not breastfeed and it is ok, I did not and Aidan is fine. And as for jaundice a lot of babies have it.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:

ITA. Good luck with whatever you decide.

jcc64 replied: My dd had jaundice- it's quite common and as long as the baby is monitored, it should turn out fine.
As far as the bf thing, I'm sorry that you were misled by a lazy and/or misinformed dr. Bf takes alot of patience- it is no picnic in the beginning, but neither is drying up your milk, as you're discovering. There's no easy way out. You're going to endure some discomfort either way, why not give it one last shot with the right info and support this time? There is no judgement here, hon, and bottle feeders- please don't feel the need to defend your choice. However, it's sad when young moms are given incorrect info and wind up making a less than optimal choice based on a lack of support. Drs generally want quick answers and results- they want you in and out of their offices as quickly as possible, and they don't want to have to reassure insecure hormonal moms. With bottles, it's easy to tell how much is going in or not. With the breast, you need to be a little more resourceful, and drs don't like ambiguity. Bf requires alot of trial and error and guidance- something most drs aren't willing to deal with.
Find yourself an LC, go online and find a local LLL chapter. While you're at it, you might want to interview another ped. You can do it, if you want to, and your baby will thank you in the long run.
And btw, this is all very normal. I bet there isn't a mom on here who didn't struggle with bf at one time or another. It just takes ALOT of patience and support, which by the way, is the case with every other aspect of parenting as well. Trial by fire, I guess. Good luck, whichever way you decide to go.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Thank you all so much for your inputand support.

We have decided it is best not only for me but also Bella to not BF. I was running a very high fever and was miserable, Bella is doing sooooo much better on formula, making many more wet diapers and just seems happier.

I know some people look down on quitting but the "blues" were starting to get to me. Not to mention my worries about Bella being happy

CantWait replied:
No one looks down on you Jessica. Yours and the babies happiness is all that matters.

coasterqueen replied: I don't look down on your for your decision. You are doing what you think is best for your family and that's great.

I just wanted you to be informed of the correct information. There are a lot of women out there that find out after they've quit that they were told the wrong information and were very depressed because they gave up sooner than they really wished they had. Didn't want that to be you .

Glad things are going well.

my2monkeyboys replied: Oh, don't feel bad at all! And don't worry about what others may or may not think... it's not their life or child. You do what is best for you and Bella, and be happy!
BTW, she's is absolutely beautiful! Cngrats!!

A&A'smommy replied:
I was misinformed about bf too and I regret not being able to bf her to this day... but anyway I'm sorry you were having such a hard time and I wish you and little bella the best

holley79 replied:
Oh Jess we don't look down on you sweetie. You have to, as a mom, do waht is best for you and Bella.

luvmykids replied:
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks Like Jeanne said, no judgement here.

Mommy2Isabella replied: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

The support I recieve from this board is AMAZING. I wish I could give you all a . Not only were you all supportive and very helpful throughout the pregnancy now that I am a mommy, you guys continue to help me out. I am sure I will have more questions that arise in the coming months as Bella continues to grow and become more active. But I just wanted to say THANK YOU ~!

Brias3 replied: Aww, sorry to hear your news but glad you were able to get all your questions answered through the pediatrician! This will be right for both you and Bella

Congrats on her again and best wishes!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Jess, I wrapped my boobs up in Ace bandages to keep them tight. Within a week or two they were dried up. The pain lessened because of the tightness of the bandages and it also helped me not to leak all over. Glad to hear she's ok! I formula fed Tanner, don't feel bad, you tried. I didn't even try with Tanner. I just wasn't comfortable and it wasn't my thing at that time, plus he had a lot of allergies and had to go on a special formula. She'll be fine!

boyohboyohboy replied: I didnt BF my oldest son. I was young, well not that young, and to embarrassed to ask for help. I formula fed him, and he started solids early, I think 3 months, and he is the most solid kid I have ever seen! He isnt heavy by any means, just solid thru and thru. We always joke that he is going to be a football player for sure!
So I am sorry that the BFing didnt work out, and hopefully your discomfort is better.
But know that Bella is going to be just fine, and you too!

Boo&BugsMom replied: OMGosh Stacy, Tanner is the same way. He isn't heavy, but he's so solid! All muscle it seems. He weighs more than all his friends who are taller than him, but he looks like a skinny rail.

jcc64 replied: I can't tell you how nice it would have been to have a board like this when I was a first time mommy. (that was so long ago, there wasn't even an internet- at least not for us). Moms are infinitely more helpful than drs on a whole variety of day to day parenting issues. Ask away- you may not always agree with us, but it's great to get a wide range of perspectives. Good luck- I know your dd is gonna have a great start in life with you as her mommy.

My2Beauties replied:
Hon I strongly agree with Aimee and karen on this. My first few weeks I was so freaking engorged I couldn't hardly stand it. I would wake Hanna up so she would eat just a little bit to help me out. I mean I was leaking left and right, it was awful. Eventually, within a couple of weeks, we were on a feeding schedule and I only got engorged when my body knew it was time to feed Hanna. I really think your ped is way misinformed on this!!!!!!

jacobsmama replied:

I totally know how you feel. Hugs