BREAST FEEDING HELP!!! - PLEASE!!!

MoonMama wrote: Hey everyone Braedin and I are home. I'm feeling pretty good just sore and tired. I'll tell you all my birth story soon and post more pics very soon. But for now I need some BF help ASAP! He seemed to be BF okay with a LOT of help from the wonderful lactaion (sp) consaultant at the hospital. But now at home I cannot seem to get him to take my breast! I don't know why he wont I know he is hungry! I was told to feed him every 3 hours round the clock and wake him up to eat etc. because he is so small. I have done everything they told me to do to try to get him to eat and have tried all the advice friends and family have given. What do I do? Anyone have any tips. Its been 4 hours since he has really eaten and even then he didn't take for but a few minutes. Even though I really didn't want to give him formula I had DH go get some but he wont really take that ether!!! I don't know what to do I am so worried! I am really failing at being a mommy!

C&K*s Mommie replied: First, you ARE NOT failing at being a mother. Sweetie don't ever let that enter your mind to the point that you actually believe it. I feel like a failure often, but I have to throw that thought out quickly otherwise it will warp my mind and I will begin to believe it.

Secondly, I do not have much in the way of advice. But could it be that he is simply not hungry? I understand that he is small, but babies intuitively know when they are hungry and will respond by letting you in turn know. At least I would think that.

There were times that C would not take the breast, but when she was ready, than so was I.

I have no advice about the bf, but I wanted to encourage you to toss out the thought that you are failing mother.

mckayleesmom replied: Sweetie...This happens to the best of us. First off....He might be sensing some of your anxiety....Maybe dh can hold him for a little bit while you take a little break and regroup. Next.....I had a little trouble with Russell at first and I just layed with my shirt open and waited....eventually he got hungry and latched on...Try to open his little mouth by putting some breast milk on your nuckle and rubbing his lips. If he makes the O shape with his mouth....shove your boob on in there...Don't let him just take the nip...make sure he has the areola also....because if its just the nip....that is painful. . Just try different things......Did they give you a breastfeeding book to look at? If all else fails.....Go to the hospital and ask to speak with the lactation consultant on staff....They are always more then willing to help.


You can also try different holds with him. Also....I don't know if your milk has fully come in yet, but if it hasn't...Try taking a warm shower first or rubbing your breast with a warm cloth....something to help draw it in a little more so when he first sucks...he gets something and decides to stay..

mckayleesmom replied: Also...you are not failing as a mother....You are learning as a mother. You have to learn his behaviors and patterns....and at first its not easy. Just take your time. If you need too....You can always express a little milk on a spoon or in an eye dropper and feed him that way. I would try to steer away from the bottle right now because that might confuse him. With Mckaylee..they gave me a little cup to do it with.

C&K*s Mommie replied: That was my other thought that Bri mentioned, in the am if you can, call or go see a lactation consultant. They are there to help.

Can you see if they have an all nighter call in #?

The anxiety can definately be sensed by babies. Definately find a moment or two to regroup and come back.

MoonMama replied: Thanks Brianne and Nicole. I got him to take a bottle, didn't want to but I really wanted him to eat, he ate 1 oz. How much is he supposed to get right now? We have an appointment tomorrow with his PED I'll try talking to her a little. But I'll try to remember what you both said take a deep breath and try again and let him kind of go on his own. Thanks girls so much! And most of all thank you for letting me know I am not failing and this is normal.

mckayleesmom replied:
That sounds about right....Mine usually had about 2 oz at birth......but mine were piggy's.

Sweetie...It really is normal. Mckaylee absolutely refused to nurse...even with a lactation consultants help and the lactation nurse at the hospital.......I tried for 2 months and I expressed for 4 and fed her bottles and supplemented formula. I would sit and cry while trying to nurse her....and she would cry right back at me. After I quit nursing her on my breast...I felt really guilty, but my sanity came first....I do with I would have tried longer.......And little Braden is so new that I would definantly keep trying.....Just remember...some things don't come very fast to some babies. He might just need a little help.

Also..I know they told you to feed him every 3 hours on the dot, but remember...you are his mommy and most likely..he will tell you when hes hungry. The doctors told me the same thing and my kids refused to eat on a schedule.

MoonMama replied: Thanks Brianne. That helps a lot, and I'll try to remember those words and keep trying. I guess I'm just having the new mommy worry brain. I dunno DH just took him for a few minutes so I can regroup great idea.

amynicole21 replied: Has your milk come in yet? What Brianne said was right, keep him right next to your bare skin and it will stimulate the desire for him to nurse. If he took a bottle, then he has a suck reflex so that shouldn't be the problem. Sometimes it just takes a few days to get the hang of things. You'd think every baby and mommy would know what to do - animal instinct right? Not so. It really takes some time. In the meantime, try not to worry and keep at it.

hawkshoe replied: I would try to stay away from the bottle if you can, otherwise the baby may not go back to the breast (I had one who did and one who did not). Something I was told to try was rubbing a bit of sugar water on my nipple to entice the baby.

Jamison'smama replied: I am so sorry he is not an easy nurser. I can definately tell you I have BTDT. Jamison was a very hard baby to nurse but she eventually got it. I would dribble breast milk over my breast, work extremely hard to get her to open her mouth etc. The best advice and demonstration I got from the lactation consultant (which is where I spent 2 hours my first day home from the hospital) was look for the mouth to open and react QUICKLY! Shove (and I don't mean just place) his open mouth onto your breast. Try the football hold to get the best view of mouth openings--tickle his chin ---make sure he is good and awake. I would sometimes have to undress her and tickle her feet or back to wake her up. It is all about timing and shoving him on--sometimes over and over--he will get it, it wasn't easy for a couple of weeks but they will eat. Do you have a lactation consultant nearby? I wouldn't count on your pediatrician to be of much help unless they were avid breasfeeders themselves. You can always call the LLL. THey are usually MORE than happy to come or send someone over--they also can give you a lot of good advice via phone.

Good luck sweetie--keep it up. I would recommend you avoid the bottle as much as possible--it is easier to get it out of the bottle and that is why they can start to prefer it right away. I did syringe feed Jamison one feeding. She was only 6.8 when she left the hospital --not that small but I never woke her up and fed only on demand (0r when my breasts were screaming it was time)

Hugs and please ask for as much help as you need. PM any of us, we will do our best. I KNOW it is hard, frustrating and brought forth MANY tears on my part but it becomes wonderful and easy very soon!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: For what it's worth... a newborn's stomach is about the size of an olive... so I wouldn't be too concerned with how many ounces he drinks. I'd be concerned with the amount of wet diapers... and in any case, if your milk hasn't come in yet, he won't be eating much, know what I mean?

Just don't stress about it. Babies are extremely sensitive to your feelings... so if you're anxious and stressed, the baby will be too... if you relax, and take it easy, the baby likely will too.

Do what you feel is best for you... if it means formula, then that's what it means... a little word of advice? Try to hand express some milk from your breasts... if nothing, it will at least stimulate them and might help to bring on your milk.

As for a regular feeding schedule.. I personally think it's crap... I mean... you eat when you're hungry, right? So feed your baby when he's hungry, not on a schedule... babies don't understand time, and why make them fuss for nothing? Offer your breast at least once an hour. Tickle his toes to try to keep him awake for nursing...

other ladies on here are much better at this.

Good luck!!!! And yes... the first month...they pretty much do nothing but nurse, poop and sleep.

coasterqueen replied:
I ditto what Amy and Brenda have said. Both my girls were extremely horrible nursers at first. Kylie didn't take to the breast for DAYS. The LC and I ended up resulting to feeding her by medicine cup a few times because she just couldn't latch on correctly.

I don't remember if you have another child or not, but if you don't then get into bed naked, well at least no bra or shirt, and lay that baby next to your bare body and snooze off and on. He'll get it.

Has your milk come in? Are you engorged? When he was nursing was he gulping at all? Sometimes when the milk comes in and you are engorged, the baby has a very hard time latching on and sometimes hates the fast flow and won't nurse. LMK on this one and we can go from there .

PrairieMom replied: Be patient. He has to learn to nurse jsut like you have to learn how to nurse him. plus I swear kids just do things to make their mommy's freak out, it starts from day one.
is he taking your breast now?
The thing that helped me in the beginning was using the football hold. For some reason it helped Ally's latch, and she seemed to do better.
sending loads of
and ~~~~~patience ~~~~~~~~~~~~vibes.

CantWait replied: Everyone has already offered great advice, I just want to say though that the sugar on your breast may confuse him more and make him not to take it without, try and strear clear of this.

It doesn't come easy at first for sure, but we're here to encourage you to stick with it. The support you get from family, friends, and your doctor really does make a difference.

It'll come in time, just try and be patient. You're doing a wonderful job, or else you wouldn't be asking for help.

MommyToAshley replied: I didn't read all the other responses, but I wanted to say that most hospitals will have a lactation consultant on call. Most will even make home visits, or you can take the baby to the LC. I would definitely give them a call.. they are used to dealing with these problems on a daily basis.

You are doing fine, you are NOT a failure, and don't give up... the first few days is the hardest. If I remember correctly, Ashey didn't take much either until my milk came in. I think you should still try to nurse as often as possible and stay away from the bottle so that your milk will come in (and your supply will not drop if your milk already has come in). It may not seem like he is taking much, but I bet he is getting what he needs. I think the hardest thing I had to get used to was not knowing how much Ashley was taking in... it's not like a bottle where you can measure the ounces.

Let us know how it goes.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: You've already gotten lots of great advice and I don't have anything to add, I just wanted to give you some It's hard at first but it does get better!!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Ally~ Everyone above already gave you some great advice! I just scanned the replies so forgive me if I repeat someone but Are you washing your breasts or shoulders or neck with soap? If so stop-the taste of soap can be left on your skin if you wash your breasts or above them...I learned that the hard way. Also avoid green veggies for the first few days the LC at the hospital said they can give your milk on odd taste And last but not least I was in tears in the hospital trying to nurse-they had taken Tay and given her a bottle nd I thought I had failed and was going to just give up but I asked for a video and to be left alone-there was something better about watching a video on my own with my baby than having a woman pushing and pulling on me and her-KWIM? Anyway honey,DON'T give up!!! One we got the hang of it we were BFing for 2 years It takes time to learn just like everything will for the next 18 years

jcc64 replied: Not a whole lot to add- except for Bf is a very difficult thing to learn on the fly- and it is most definitely an acquired skill that requires LOTS of practice, support, and above all, patience. What you are feeling is completely normal- we as parents all feel a profound sense of urgency where feeding our babies is concerned. I think it's one of the biggest reasons women and drs give up so quickly on bf. A few bad days, and parents start to freak out that their baby is going to starve to death, and then the dr, wanting the fastest, easiest way to chill out over anxious parents, next thing you know- the baby's ff.
Just take a deep breath, and understand that barring any physical abnormalities or unusual medical challenges, healthy babies will not starve themselves to death. But like a little bird first learning to flap its wings, or a newborn colt on shaky legs- babies are not born efficient nursing machines. They have to practice too, and we have to be ready to take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself. The first thing you have to do is get the baby to be alert and awake enough to feed- which in my case was accomplished by stripping the baby down and tickling her feet. Like Brenda said, the minute that mouth opens, shove, and I mean, SHOVE, your boob way into the baby's mouth- just make sure there's a little gap between your boob and the baby's nose so he can breath. I remember the first time I bf with the lc there, and I was shocked at how she basically rammed the baby's face into my boob. I also found the football hold to be the best approach at the newborn stage- not sure why- but experiment- every kid's probably different that way.
Anyway, go back to the hospital or call at least, and seek out all the help that is available to you. Don't give up, and don't beat yourself up- it will happen if you are commited to it.
And about the anxiety, everyone's right- baby's do sense our tension- did you ever notice how babies always cry when a nervous person who's never handled a baby tries to pick them up? It's because they feel the insecurity intuitively. So, try to relax as best you can, and one of the very best things about bf is, once you get the hang of it, there is actually a neurochemical reaction that occurs during letdown, a rush of serotonin or something, that causes in you a profound sensation of peace and calm- almost like being high, tbh (you can read about this on kellysmom, I'm sure). But, until you get to that point, have a beer if you need to chill out- it also helps ALOT with your supply.
You'll get all the help you need here- we've got some real bf pros here.
It's all gonna be fine, trust me.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I was gonna say that too but did not know if I should It does help with your supply (and 1 will not transfer any alcohol to your milk-not a license to drink all the time!) But the darker in color the beer is the better it is for your milk supply...

moped replied: I can't add to what the others said, but Jack didn't eat for days either and was fed by a little cup - then he just got it because I was told to settle down and relax about it - and boy did he eat then

jcc64 replied: Yeah, Abbie, I hesitated before I posted about the beer too- not because I think it's wrong, b/c I don't- but I was wondering if everyone would think I'm a degenerate.

BabyOwen427 replied: You have gotten some wonderfully amazing advise here and I just wanted to add a bit about my own experience.
My nipples are flat and Owen's mouth had the hardest time latching on, I started out using a nipple shield (it's an artificial nipple that you place over your nipple) it worked great on giving him something to latch on (he eventually became dependent on it, and getting rid of it was a pain, but that's for later ).
You have to remember in the first 3 to 4 days a baby is not really hungary, and the main reason for bf right now is learning. Until your milk comes in your baby is getting colstrum (sp?) and your breasts are getting the stimulation needed to bring on your milk. So even if you think he isn't getting anything keep trying and avoid the bottle he doesn't need it and it doesn't help.

The best thing I did was strip him down to his diaper and lay him on my bare chest, even if he wasn't nursing it was wonderful for bonding and I have read (but I don't remember where) that it can also regulate his temperature, breathing, and heart rate. He will learn your scent and work to get your nipple.

And don't worry if you miss your showers a couple days in a row he would rather that than the smell of any soap.

I wish you good luck and all the patience in the world. Please seek help from someone here or a lactation consultant before you give up. I promise once you get the hang of it you won't want to stop. PM me anytime if you need. I don't post much but I linger a lot.

MoonMama replied: Thanks for all the great advice girls. I just posted an updated but wented to tell you guys just how thankful I am. It means the world to me to have you all.