At my whits end.

PrairieMom wrote: Things have been super crazy around here so I have't been able to post much, (still lurk from my phone while nursing tho) so i haven't keep you all up to date with the Al peeing the bed thing, but I have a second, and I am at my whits end, so instead of making dinner, I had to come vent / post here.

So, since a bit before Charlie was born Al has started to pee the bed again. just at night. we had about 4 good months of being night time PT before she regressed. So , it has steadily been getting worse, and now we are peeing the bed every night.
I have gone through 3 water proof pads by now, and am fed up with doing laundry so we have put her back into pull ups. Completely not what I wanted to do, but we have escalated to that point. So, she has been wearing pull ups for the past 5 nights.
well today when I was cleaning her room I found a spot on her floor where she had peed.
Then tonight when I put her to bed, there was a pee spot on her sheets.
Now someone tell me how it is that a kid that wears pull ups manages to get a pee spot on her sheets? She is completely doing this purposefully.

I have already taken away some of her big girl privileges, no more gum, ( because gum is for big girls that don't wear diapers) and I took away her brand new princess sheets because she can't be peeing on disney princesses. , and her comforter is gone too, because it won't fit into our washing machine. She is sleeping on a plain white sheet and covering her self with a plain blanket.

I am seriously going to loose my mind.

ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!

kit_kats_mom replied: Oh no!!!!

You are doing the same things I did when Kat regressed after L was born. That little twerp never peed in her bed (thank goodness cause I think I may have lost it) but she would ask me to go the bathroom with her right after I'd sit down to nurse L. When I said no, she would just stand right in front of me and pee. It lasted for a few weeks.

I have no advise but I did want to reassure you that it will end. K hasn't had an accident in at least 4 years.

I know it's frusterating though when you are in the midst of it.

grapfruit replied: Tara I have no advice since I'm not at that point. But yikes. I'm sure EVENTUALLY it'll get better. Of course that doesn't help you at all...

PrairieMom replied:
ok, do you see the humor in it now?
Lord give me the Patience to not kill this kid...

kit_kats_mom replied: Oh yeah, I saw the humor of it right off. As long as you can see the humor in it, all will be fine. Just borrow a carpet cleaner and wait her out.

Nina J replied: How annoying

A little personal experience though. I was potty trained, day and night, until I was about 5 or 6. Then I started to wet the bed again. I wet the bed until I was about 9 My parent's must've been strong people I used to occassionally wake up to use the toilet, but one of my siblings told me when I was a kid that a witch lived in our toilet, which terrified me. So if I woke up, I would try and go back to sleep. I remember I pee'd on the floor once because I was too afriad to go to the toilet when everyone else was asleep and it was dark.

So, maybe she is scared of something?

PrairieMom replied:
I don't think so. I'm fairly certain that this is more of a malicious acting out thing. She is the brave kid. The other one is my huge chicken.

coasterqueen replied: Well you asked for advice so here it is. I don't think she was ready to begin with, IMO, just by what I've read through the whole night training experience. I never will understand why anyone is quick to make a kid night train. I just let my kids night train when they were completely ready. Kylie was ready faster than Megan. It was no skin off my back to let them wear a pull-up at night and change it in the morning. It's more of a problem to change wet sheets all the time, IMO.

If you are showing any stress whatsoever about this she's going to catch on and it's going to make it worse for her. Then if she's being punished it only makes matters worse IMO. I never think a child should be punished when it comes to potty training. It only causes more issues for them.

On top of potty training in general then add a new baby to the mix, of course a child is going to be stressed. It's a lot of an adjustment to everyone. Think about the adjustment for you, then realize what it is for a child who has NO comprehension of such things.

Let her go in the pull-ups at night until she's ready to night-train. Don't punish her during this time. Make the whole situation as stress-free as possible for her and everyone else. Night training w/my girls was such a breeze because I did it when THEY were ready, not when I felt it was convenient. There was no stress involved. It didn't hurt that I bought the plastic type bed liners that covered the whole mattress so the only thing I had to do was take the wet sheet off, wipe the plastic bed liner with some vinegar/water, take a dry towel to it, put a new sheet on and we were back in business. There is NO need to wash bed liners, especially 4, if you can buy the plastic kind that require no washing, just sanitizing.

I wet the bed up until I was 8 or 9 years old. My mother punished me so much and almost daily for it that I started hiding the wet bed sheets and changing the bed myself. When she found out about that things got much worse and she took me to the doctor and come to find out I slept so heavily that I couldn't wake to go pee. It was not my fault. I had to take some medication for awhile, then I was all good after that. My mother felt bad for punishing me so much.

She's only 3, right? No need to stress over a child not night training at 3. Really. The stress you portray on to her along with the NORMAL stress of a new baby in the mix is probably causing her to purposefully pee during the day time. Normal, too, not punishable IMO.

CantWait replied: I know it's frustrating, but I think she's probably regressing a bit and wouldn't push it to much. From what I hear, this seems to be a HUGE problem with girls. My friends little girl did this as well.

jcc64 replied:

I completely agree with everything Karen's said. If she's regressing b/c of the baby, she's certainly accomplished her goal of getting more attention for herself, albeit negative attention, it's attention nonetheless. The less you make of it, the better.
I know your time and patience are limited right now. So does she. That's probably why she's doing it. But in her little head, she doesn't know any other way. She's not doing it to #@$@ you off (no pun intended). She's doing it to get the attention back on her--which is a pretty normal impulse for a kid her age, and it's probably not even a conscious move on her part.

Danalana replied: I agree with Tara and Jeanne, though I know it has to be frustrating. Al has always been the baby and now she knows she isn't anymore. Maybe give her extra hugs and cuddles when you can (stop laughing, I'm serious!)....I think she will stop this behavior when she feels a little more secure about her place in this new family of 5. Like Karen said, let her do the pull-ups for a little while and let her night train when she is ready. Oh, and I DO realize I have never potty-trained a child But I DO plan on waiting until he shows huge interest in it. It'll get better, Tara! I think her behavior is pretty normal, albeit maddening.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Wow yeah that would be really frustrating! It does sound like she is doing it on purpose now at least, if she wasn't in the beginning, if she is managing to get pee on her bed and carpet with a pull-up on. She probably does want the attention it's getting her. I don't know what I would do. Making the least of it that you can sounds like good advice though, and hopefully after not too long she will realize it's not working and stop doing it!

bluebear replied: What about telling her she'll always be the little girl of the family? There's a new baby boy in the family, but she'll always be the baby girl?

PrairieMom replied:
we are so all over that, probably to much. she is so proud of her baby. she loves to show him off and tell people about him.

my2monkeyboys replied: I think I would just give her pull-ups back, clean accidents when they happen, and never speak of it. The less attention she gets from it, the better.
for all... I know it's a trying time.

PrairieMom replied: well, it has escalated to nap times to now. Nothing like having to clean a potty mattress with a crying baby.
We have been doing pull ups at night without saying a word, she wakes up dry, then pees in the pull up.
We are apparently doing pull ups for nap time too now.
I wonder if I put her back into cloth diapers if that would cool her cookies a bit...

PrairieMom replied: nap time.
She pooped on the floor. AND peed in her pull up.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:

julesmom replied: Can you make her change her own wet pullup? Just not say anything and when she says she's wet, tell her to put on a dry pullup?
Maybe when she has to deal with taking care of the wet, she'll realize it's not fun. Then when she does stay dry, give her more attention.

coasterqueen replied:
Poor thing. Something is definitely bothering her.