Are we taking this too far?

MoonMama wrote: My little sisters now ex boyfriend, can't seem to take the fact that it is over. Without giving to much detail and such since I am not sure its something she wants everyone to know. He calls and texts her all the time. He will not leave her alone after she has asked him too, not even after DH, my parents, his parents and myself have asked him too. He asks her repeatedly to explain everything to him (why she doesn't love him like he does her, why it over, etc.). Says she lies to him all the time (which she hasn't), takes everything she says to anyone out of context, questions her friends about her, gets super angry towards her for know reason, is just plain nasty to her. All of this has been on going for over a month now. She came home from a friends today crying and when she finally calmed down told me and DH what was wrong....she is just so sick of it all and how nasty and mean he is to her and about her friends. And she told us flat out she is scared of him! Very, VERY fearful of him! Ok that one sent a big red flag up for us. We told her tomorrow we will go get a restraining order. Because we don't see any other answer and because the fact that she now fears him isn't a good sign. Are we taking this to far or do you think its a good idea too?

Calimama replied: Yes, file!! What a creep!!! I'd tell her to carry mace too but then I'm paranoid sometimes. KUP...

MoonMama replied:
Oh heck yeah, DH bought her some pepper spray with a dye (I have some too as does my mom) about a week ago. The dye is so if she sprayed him for attacking her, he can't say oh it wasn't me who attacked her. KWIM?

Calimama replied:
Oh that's SMART.

I want some that sprays hot pink.

TrulyBlessed replied: Now that fear is involved, I don't think you are taking it too far. You just don't know about people now a days.

MoonMama replied:
Yeah me too!

I think its blue if I remember right.

Swood75 replied: No,you definately aren't taking it too far.. It is so sad that it has to be done though and can't just get over it and that your little sister has to be scared..

lovemy2 replied: Have you spoken to the school at all about it? I can't remember is she still in HS? The only reason I ask is because a) yes she is afraid of him so I agree - you go to the lengths you have to to protect her BUT has he threatened her physically or anything? I am not saying wait until that happens but HS BF/GF can get ugly - and to put a restraining order on this "kid" could cause him damage down the line in alot of areas - I would be more inclined to go talk to his parents and the school - let him get in trouble that way first - now obvioulsy if you have done all that and he has threatened her physically then I would go to the police...just a thought and playing devil's advocate in a way I guess -

luvbug00 replied: i would deffinately make sure he knows what he is doing is harassment and I would get an order against him if she feels her safty is in jeprody. uhh i feel bad for your sister i know how overdramatic lovelost teens can get.

gr33n3y3z replied: She can get a restraining order but will it work prolly not But I hope it does
She should never go any where alone until something is done about him

sparkys2boys replied: I agree with what you doing. It may teach him to back of to. I would keep an extra eye on her. That's very scary

msoulz replied:

ITA with this. Also, it is possible a restraining order will either give him the message to stay away or if it will make him more angry and cause more issues. I think the police may be able to help you decide what it will do if you tell them about what is going on.

HuskerMom replied: I agree, I don't think you're taking it too far. I hope he leaves her alone.

3xsthefun replied: I don't think you are taking it to far! That has to be really scary for her!

flirtycuddle replied: WHen I was in HS I dated a senior and he seemed fine. Things didn't work out and I broke it off. He did this excat same stuff and even tried to get me and my friends expelled for stuff he was doing and blaming on us. I didn't think anything of it and just let it go for a month. Then I started dating a new guy and sure enough that just made everything worse. I started noticing him following me and basically stalking me. I still didn't get the order. One night I was out with friends and he actually tried to attack me when I went to the restroom alone. Thank God I had the mace my step-dad made me carry cuz of course I sprayed a ton and ran screaming. I didn't have a cell so my friends called the cops and he was arrested for attempted assult and sexual assult or somthing like that. The next morning I filed a restraining order on him. Some how the jerk got off and was back at schoool within 3 weeks. I was livid but had the order so he had to stay away from me. Sure enough he didn't and my teacher saw him staring through the class room door called school security who called the cops on him and he was arrested for violating the order. He never did come back to school after that so I don't knw what happened after all of that. Never let her go anywhere alone till this is handled. I thought since I was with friends at a movie and didn't see him I could go to the restroom alone but that is what he was expecting. Not trying to say this guy is as nuts at my ex but who really knows. Extra percautions such as being with a group no matter what and watching whats going on around her will help. Hopefully he isn't dumb enough to pull anything besides the text and calls. I would also change her number so that he cant get to her on the phone. Did she tell u if he said or did something to suddenly make her scared of him?

eta** i told my school and they just blew it off as normal stuff and his parents didnt care. Like stated in first post his parents have already told him to stop and he hasn't

lisar replied: Here is my theroy on this. And by NO MEANS am I defending the boy. So please dont take it that way.

A restraining order can and will reuin his future. It will be on his record FOREVER. He would never be able to have a concealed weapons permit if he ever wanted one 20 years from now. And more things. Jobs will ask him about them. I am just saying.

And GOD knows I dont want anything to happen to your sister. So yall need to do what you think is right. KUP

ZandersMama replied: waited to get a restraining order till I was in the hospital with a concussion. and he seemed normal. If she feels she is in danger i say go for it. better safe then sorry.