Are our really kids growing up to without manners?

C&K*s Mommie wrote: Taking a cue from the headlines last night (sorry if someone else posted this question) but polls suggest that our kids and the teenagers growing up now are becoming more and more prone to self-serving, rude behaviour. Do you think so? I certainly have noticed that kids seem to not have the manners when speaking to someone older than them; i.e. saying "yes ma'am/no ma'am" etc... And I see that our kids have more than what we had (big screen tvs & 500 channels to choose from! Or cell phones in everyones hands) What do you think? Are we just plain rude?

sunshine girls replied: I think their are alot of rude kids and teenagers, but I also think that people with no manners are always going to be around, it's one of those unavoidable things.
I always raised my kid's to have good manners, and people often comment on there manners.
Children learn from their parents though, and if they're parents are inconsiderate people with no manners then it's very likely they'll be exactly the same. If their parents are very polite and have good manners, then the kids probably will grow up with lovely manners.
Society is always changing, and what was socially unacceptable 70 years ago isn't unacceptable today. I don't tell my kids to call adults Ma'am or Sir, people have a name for a reason. I don't like to be called Ma'am. I have a name, people should just call me Bonnie instead of calling me Mrs. B_________.
Everyone's different and we arn't all the same, but I think their's alot of rude people out there who need a lesson in manners. But theirs also a whole lot of kind, considerate men, women and children in the world. We just need more of them.
It's a good question though

mckayleesmom replied: Mckaylee is 2 and she already has really good manners....she says Please, Thank you, Your welcome, excuse me, and God Bless you....sometimes she forgets God bless you and says For Goodness Sake ...cause she gets confused, but I think she is doing alright for being 2. We do want our kids to say Ma'am and Sir, but they are too little to remember right now I think.

There are some teenagers that live accross the street from us (the son mows our lawn) and they are the most polite kids I have ever seen.

gr33n3y3z replied: ppl. come to me and say your kids have such good manners and are very polite


But when I'm in school I see a mixed bag of kids so who knows right
I can guess the reason based on what I know about the family but I'm not going there.

Alice replied: Teenagers tend to be self-centered; I don't think it's necessarily a part of rudeness or bad parenting, just a stage they go through. So a group of loud teens at the mall isn't necessarily a sign of anything other than the fact that there's not much else to do.

But I do think that too many parents take the easy way out when it comes to their kids. Life is so busy... there's so much to do and so few hours in which to do it. When they do get a bit of time with their kids, it's easier to look the other way than to correct bad behavior. And I'm not talking about teens; by then it's too late. I'm talking about the 5 and 6 and 7 year olds being consistently rude or disrespectful with no consequences. Too many parents spend so little time with their kids that there's no relationship there, just a series of brief encounters. They would much rather buy a video game than play with their kids.

Good manners aren't instinctual; they have to be taught. And it has to be done while the kids are young-- taught by example. Actions, both good and bad, need to have consequences proportional to the action. So a 2 year old who hits her sister gets a 2 minute time out (right, Kira??? )

During one of last winter's many snowstorms, Brian (then 6 years old) and I were out shoveling; my husband had already plowed out us and many of the neighbors. We were up to helping neighbors dig out their cars parked on the street. We did the next door neighbor, then went on the house next to his. We worked for about 1/2 an hour before the 19 year old son came out: it was HIS car!!! He let his mom, dad, uncle, myself and a SIX YEAR OLD shovel out his car while he stayed inside!!!!. Had it been my son, he could have waited for the spring thaw!!!!!!!! What on earth were they thinking??????

redchief replied:
Bull-hockey! Rude is rude no matter the age. Teenagers DO tend to be moody and self-centered, but I know many self-centered teens that grow into equally self-centered adults. IMO, our children will perform in public in the manner we, as parents, demand of them.

I've grounded my teens for rude behavior. I won't stand for it.

I was a high school boys' lacrosse coach. If they cursed (and yes, lacrosse is a violent, physical game), they were not permitted to play. Rudeness and cursing during practice resulted in extra conditioning for the player and the team. They were not permitted to taunt or tease opposing players openly (does that mean it didn't happen? - No; but much of manners and what is considered rude isn't any more than appearances). They were allowed to get angry, but they learned quickly the proper way to exhibit that anger. If high school boys involved in blood sport can manage to be gentlemen, any teens can.

There is never an excuse for rude. PERIOD.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

ITA!!! RUDE behavior is a learned trait! We were NEVER allowed to be disrespectful to anyone, In public or in private(at home with eachother) I have major problems when I see my friends allow their children to ridicule or tease other children(or adults for that matter) and pass it off as the age or "kids will be kids" After all doesn't it all come back to respect and compassion for other people and their feelings? Taylor IS and WILL be a respectful and caring child and adult,because that is what we EXPECT of her and SHOW her by example. She already shows an understanding of wanting to encourage and lift people up at the age of 4. If a 4 year old can be concerned about the well being of people around her I EXPECT nothing less of myself and adults in the public on a daily basis!

luvbug00 replied: ITA with all said above

ions_momma replied: I have met some kids/teens with VERY bad manners before. Not very many really though. We have taught Ion alot of manners, and most of the time he remembers to use them. He says please, thank you, your welcome, and excuse me. He doesnt really say ma'am or sir, but that is mainly because he hasnt really been taught that. I know some people out there probably think we are bad parents because of that, but I would have to disagree. Not to many people I have ever met actually expect to be called ma'am or sir anymore. JMO though.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I for one was a VERY polite teenager and so were my brothers. We are still polite to others. That is how we were raised and DH and I raise our children to be polite as well. We also will not stand for rudeness. I'm so glad I have a husband who was raised in a decent, respectful home and he backs me up on this. There is a lot that he lets them get by with, but rudeness is NOT one of them.

coasterqueen replied: I don't know I seem to remember being pretty rude as a teenager, well not all the time - but hey, those were my rebelious years. I don't believe I'm that way at all now.

Alice replied: Oops, sorry.

No more opinions from me.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:

Alice~ I agree with this statement. I would not consider a group of teens laughing and talking in a mall rude at all-barring cussing or something along those lines. I was speaking of rudeness in the run in to you and not say excuse me sense. I know that kids get together and have fun,I am all for that! It just bothers me when I see people that have no respect for others no matter what age!

C&K*s Mommie replied: THANK YOU ALL for your great opinions. Reading these has helped me realize that my ideas of rude behaviour may not be as expansive as I thought. But the simple things of holding doors open for someone, (especially for us mothers with small kids in tow) or even moving forward to open the door, this would be ideal. But do not get me wrong, I do not EXPECT someone to do it for me, I am a mother and I can manage on my own just fine- if there is noone there to assist. Speaking of assisting, it takes me aback when you do hold a door open for someone and there is not a response at all. Not a thank you, not a wave or even a grunt would be great, but sometimes there is nothing!

Moving on, but simple things that parents taught there kids years ago, would be ideal in today's lackadaisical culture. Men not cursing around women, men giving their seats up for women, or younger men/women giving their seats up for our older citizens who have seen and done more than most of us may ever will. I personally have alot to teach my little ones, and alot to make improvements on for myself. Including smiling and greeting strangers when I walk by, or come up to in a store line. This is one rude act among many that I am making adjustments on everday.

MyLuvBugs replied: Yes. I believe that some people aren't teaching their kids manners or disciplining their children properly. Therefore, now we have a bunch of teenagers that are rude, selfish and inconsiderate to others around them. I also feel like society is blaming TV or Music for this behavior and not looking at the parents. But that's just me.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I COMPLETELY agree with you!!