Anyone else.........
CosmetologyMommy wrote: Anyone else have a DH that you have to practically beg to do something around the house, such as the dishes, vacuum or mop?????? If so, how do I get my DH to step up????!!!!!!!!
CAMSMOM1 replied: Since we've been married, going on 3 years now...he hasn't done 1 thing around the house. He wouldn't even change a diaper or give our son a bath the 1st year. He had said it was because I only work P/T and he had to work so many hours. But taking care of our son in the mornings, going to work all afternoon and not getting home until 7:00...I would say I put in just as much "work" time, if not more..taking care of the baby at night, dinner, laundry, dishes.....you name I have to do it! I was getting really tired of his excuses, and feeling as if I were a single Mom in a lot of ways. But we have had a recent turn around this last month. He went over to his Best Friend's house, and his friend told him how he needs to step it up and help me out. That we are partners, and he can see how burned out I was. This was coming from his single friend....I was so greatful that someone had noticed everything I was doing and told my DH about it. Then his Dad, the same night he had a talk with his friend, told my DH the same thing. My husband came home crying...actually bawling tears, and asked me to forgive him for being so selfish and he now see's how hard I work and that I need some help. He and I had a good conversation. And basically I told him that I am tired, I need a break. I'm not asking for him to do EVERTHING, just to help out with some things. The next day, was his day off from work, and I came home to a clean house, and he vaccumed. He gave our son a bath and got him ready for bed. He even brought home dinner! I thought someone had kidnapped my husband, and replaced him with a new and improved version!!! My best advice is to sit and talk with him. Even if your DH doesn't have a friend to tell him so, hearing it from you should be enough. It's not about nagging him, but having a heart felt talk. Tell him that you need some help. Tell him exactly what he can do to help. Ask him, if I make dinner...can you get the kids ready for bed? Or if you see the trash pilling up, please take it out. Tell him the little things would make you so happy. Men need to be told exactly what you need and want from them. Otherwise, they will continue to do what they've always done. If they know you're going to do it all, why do they have to help??? I hope you talk with your DH. You deserve a break and a helping hand.
Ann
moped replied: I have no clue - but when you figure it out please let me know!
MyLuvBugs replied: OH YEAH!! All the time.... In fact we had a fight about that last night. UGH! 
THe only thing that works for me is to nag and nag and nag and nag some more. lol But after 3 times, the nagging will turn into anger. Then he know's I mean business and will actually start to help. UGH. But really should it come to that. Why can't he show some anitiative?!?!?!?
jacobsmama replied: Me too!!!
C&K*s Mommie replied: Beg? yes! Does he concede? Not always... and when he does he lets me know that he is not all that pleased. Most of the time, I can get it done faster, myself.
My3LilMonkeys replied: DH and I have an arrangement - I leave him a list of 3 chores in the morning before I go to work and he leaves me a list of three when he goes to work. If he doesn't do his 3 then I don't have to do mine. Or I will bargain with him - I will tell him that if he cleans the fishtank I will do the litter boxes.
I still end up doing 3/4 of the chores, but he does help out on a regular basis.
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Well I do most of the cleaning, but DH does help out a lot and I'm very greatful! I do have to ask most of the time, but I'm okay with that. He can't read my mind and I've finally realized that the things that seem obvious to me (like a dirty toilet) are not to him, so I can't expect it. It's all about compromise I guess and making sure you tell the other how much you appreciate what they do on a regular basis! That works for us!
A&A'smommy replied: Um well he use to be that way and still is sometimes I have NO advice because i usually just get mad and when I get mad he usualy does it
sillisha replied: wow, im not the only one with this problem...lol......ive been with my hubby 7 yrs married a little over 1 yr....he has never helped around the house without us fighting about it and me getting him so mad he starts cleaning.......i have begged, bargained, and bribed
coasterqueen replied: Oh gosh no! I am really lucky because my husband is ALWAYS doing something around the house - particularly if it has to do with the kitchen and/or dishes. For some reason he's a freak about the kitchen. He cleans more than me.
Not sure how to get your Dh to help.
luvmykids replied: Let's see ..... all it really takes is me nagging, pouting, being passive aggressive, giving the cold shoulder, getting angry, having a "headache", stomping around, and not laughing at his jokes. What really does it though is when my nostrils flare.
1moremakes4 replied: All I ask of my husband is to take the trash outside and do the dishes. I will put the full trashbags by the back door and they can stay there for days before he takes them out. As far as the dishes go...my kitchen is a disaster right now! I've told him before that since the baby is only happy when I'm holding her or when she's sleeping, there isn't much time for me to do the dishes. Her bedroom is right off the kitchen and I've woken her up before doing them. I usually use nap times for laundry, sweeping, mopping, time with my other daughter, etc. In the evenings, all I ask is that he does some dishes. Whenever I bring it up (like he can't see the sink overflowing...) he says "I know". But does it get done????
kimberley replied:
keep on him about it. 9 times out of 10 they will do what you ask just to shut you up
kayla's mama replied: I just have to ask a couple of times He will usually do it but he always ask for something in return , kwim? So basically, I do it my self
MyLuvBugs replied: Oh yeah! Lazy bum. But I love him.
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