Anybody have REALLY weird in-laws?

Danalana wrote: I just don't know what to do about my MIL and FIL. I love my MIL, but my FIL is mean. He is really mean to her, verbally, as well as physically at times. He is a miserable person and is so hard to be around. His sons don't even want to be around him.
The trouble is that Kade absolutely adores both of them. I must say that my FIL is very good with the boys, but he pretty much never wants them around. It tears my heart up, knowing how much Kade loves them, yet hardly ever gets to see them. AND, if they do happen to keep them for any reason, we are on a timeline. We have to be back in a certain amount of time.
Now, this isn't my MIL's idea. She told me she has cried herself to sleep a lot of nights because she misses them so much. He controls her, and it's so sad. My mother is disabled, so there is no way she can watch them. My father is never allowed to watch them. They are growing up without grandparents The crazy part is that this all started changing a little before Carter was born. They couldn't get enough of Kade. They wanted him A LOT. I just don't understand.
I don't pretend to come from a normal family, but don't most grandparents WANT their grandkids around? I thought most parents had to tear the kids away from the grand parents. I am praying for grand parents. Seriously. They need and deserve people who can play that role in their lives.
My MIL claims that she is working on it and that they will be getting them more soon. I hope so. Before I saw how much Kade loved them, I didn't really care that much. Since I come from the family I come from, I've never recognized the importance of family. But now I see that it can be such a sweet relationship.
I worry about the way he treats her...my nephew has seen him treat her very badly and now he doesn't go over there much anymore--he's only 10. The sun used to rise and set on "nanny and pawpaw" and now he just doesn't go.
Anyway, do any of you have in-laws like this? I'm pretty sure I have heard of plenty of grand parents keeping their grand kids for entire weekends. Anybody?

boyohboyohboy replied: Dana, I dont get it when people dont want to be around their grand kids either!
My parents moved from Pa where we are to AZ when I had my first child They fly home to see them once a yr.
My DH's parents never call or ask us to come, I make my husband go to see his parents twice a yr just in case they were to pass away I dont want him to feel he needed to see them more. But its a struggle.

I will tell you, that my grandfather was super mean to my grandma, He called her fat and made fun of her all the time. I didnt realize it until I was in high school though. My grandfather apparently never accepted my mom as his, even though he is her father, and never really had a relationship with her. My grandparents were not married until my mom was in her late teens, but they were a couple..something not done much back then.
But my grandfather was the best grandfather to me! He spoiled me rotten, played games with me, read to me, and let me sit in his chair and rock with him. I knew I was special to him. I had a great relationship and great memories of him.
My mom and grandma never talked bad about him in front of me, never really let me know until he died how much they disliked him. I dont think I ever thought a bad thing about him

so I guess, if he is kind to your kids, and you supervise the visits, maybe he can be a great grandfather to your boys?

I loved my grandfather and I am sorry he was such a creep to the others in his life, but I am thankful he never let me see it, (or I was just blind to it as a kid) and gave me a great childhood.

kit_kats_mom replied: My in laws are looney. That's all I'm going to say.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
Mine too. That's the only way to describe them.

julesmom replied: Mine have no interest in my kids. They live 10mins away and we only see them during the holidays. My kids are getting older and wonder why their grandparents are like this. It's sad.

mummy2girls replied: I dont have problem with the grandparents. both my MIL, FIL, and my parents LOOOOVE the kids and would move heaven and earth to get to them!

My inlaws problem is my SIL...OMG she is a story in itself!!!!! I could go on about her but it would just make me angry and ill all at once!

Danalana replied: My in-laws are only 7 minutes away...

PrairieMom replied: My mom will watch the kids if I ask, but I feel like I am really imposing if I ask her. She rarely asks to see the kids. I know she loves them, but she really isn't a kid person. Its a shame too, because she is our only help.
I refuse to leave my kids alone with my father, and my inlaws, who are great, and who would kill to be able to spend time with my kids live 12 hours away.

amymom replied:

My3LilMonkeys replied: I am lucky that my ILs are wonderful. My MIL watches the kids 3 days a week for us and she really likes having them around - she often watches them for us on weekends or when we need to go out as well. My FIL can be grumpy at times but overall he is really good with the kids as well and likes having them.

coasterqueen replied:
That's all I'll say too. I love them, but they can be very weird!

My2Beauties replied: Brian's parents are a trip, but they love those babies. His mom keeps them every day now so we don't have to pay daycare. My mom keeps the kids every Saturday night. So yeah my children's grandparents are very involved

luvbug00 replied: my mom wants mya when she feels like being a grandparent..which is on her schdual and the throws a fit if it doesnt work out her way. otherwise its an imposition.
my dad is ok with whatever.
Brads dad loves mya but they dont spend much time.
his mother would steal her from me if she could.

i think my moms thing is..hey i've raised my kids but im not raising yours. and that is how she sees any sitting job lasting longer then an hour or two.

jcc64 replied: Oh please, my in-laws are beyond words. I can BURY you all with my stories, but there are not enough hours in the day, believe me.

mckayleesmom replied:
Its ok to tell us 1 story a day...


I love me some crazy in law stories..

ZandersMama replied: my inlaws are horrible people. they all live in the same town. my ex fil sees them at christmas and thats it. the kids dont even know him, he is someone that visits occasionally. as far as aunts and uncles on that side, i have tried to push contact and they have no interest. i have seen them walk past us in the mall, and not even speak to the kids. this is with me saying hello, and saying zander, this is aunt ****, and they just keep walking. i really can't stand any of them now, and dont push it anymore.

my dad is amazing, he would do anything for the kids. my mom will do what she can as long as it doesnt inconvinence her. but, shes good when she makes the time.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: Mine are awesome. They help us a ton and i feel guilty asking but MIL swears if she doesnt want to/cant help she will tell me We reimplemented Monday night family dinner night (which had stopped after dh finished high school) only now MIL rotates which child she will pick up from school and she is teaching them how to cook.

My side of the family has the strange grandparents. My mom/step-dad used to be uber intrusive involved, now with her alzheimers they have backed off and though i dont ask for frequent baby sitting he is always willing and they love to have the kids around. My dad..... he sees them at breakfast about once a month when we call him and invite him out. he loves the kids but has no idea how to connect with them he is just not a kid person

moped replied: I love my in laws, they are WONDERFUL kind caring and generous people......they ADORE the kids and they adore them!

My parents rock as well but they live far away!

youngmomofone replied: My parents cried when we moved an hour away because they cant have the kids every weekend any more. My inlaws? Yeah, my mil saw the baby once. I saw her in March when she was in the hospital and almost died. They haven't called, they don't know where we live, etc. Every contact has to be made through us. We have to invite ourselves over when we do stop by.

MoonMama replied: My in-laws were complete and I do mean COMPLETE nuts!! So glad I don't have to deal with that anymore!!

I'm sorry Dana that has got to be hard!

Swood75 replied: My FIL is GREAT with all 3 kids..My MIL well,she is impossible..I think she has split personalities and I don't understand her and don't want to try...(and they are right out the road from us... My parents are about 20 minutes away and see my kids about 1-2x a month because she says it isn't good for grandkids to spend too much time with the grandparents..And her reasoning behind that is because if the kids spend too much time with them then when the grandparent(s) die it is that much harder on the kid... So,that is about it..My IL's are definately more involved in the kids lives (which makes my mom jealous for some reason)so see the crap I get to deal with pretty much on a regular basis.. Talk about a majot headache!!!

Calimama replied: Mine have had their moments. Honestly, they love Bella, they just had a hard time adjusting to their son/bro/cousin (whatever) being married. It was rough for awhile but now everything is really good. They have gotten over past things and are head over heels for Bella. I actually feel lucky to have them (most of the time ha!)

My dad spoiled her rotten before he died, and my mom is really good with her. My sister is CRAZY about her. She wanted us to name Miabella, "Jen Junior".

We're really blessed.

ETA: Dana, sometimes the best people to be family to our kids, aren't really family at all. Miabella has some amazing aunts that are no blood relation at all. And even has a "nana" who again isn't blood related. That kind of love can come from places that aren't always our "traditional" family.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: My MIL never got to meet our kids. She would have adored them, I know for certain. She might have been a little hard for me to deal with--but the kids would have loved her to pieces. My FIL passed away 2 years ago. While he saw the kids on occasion, he really had nothing to do with them. He had a head injury from a horrible accident shortly after Scotty and I were married and he wasn't the same child loving man he once was. We miss both of their roles in our kids' lives.

My parents home is 2 hours away. My mother lives there full time--my dad lives and works in Arkansas most of the time. They both love our kids greatly and miss them---BUT, they have a lot going on with raising a grandson and they are very involved with 2 of my nephews that live there in town. We have let our kids go there for weekends, but Scotty and I aren't comfortable with extended stays. We probably won't let them go there without us anymore, either. Unless some things change. (long story)

Anyway, we do have a neighbor that the kids refer to as "MeMe"--she's sort of like the neighborhood grandma. She keeps the kids from time to time and is gaga over them. She's hispanic and teaches the kids Spanish songs, etc. We love her so much!

I'll be praying for someone to come along in your kids' lives. We have people at church that are good role models that we trust as well. It's so hard when the babies are young and you don't have anyone close by that you can rely on. I went through that when Maddie and Ethan were little.

Danalana replied: Thanks everybody. Glad to see that I'm not alone.
You know, it IS hard not having someone to rely on...or just somebody to drop the kids off with for a couple of hours while I do something for ME. But more than anything, it breaks my heart to see how much Kade already adores his nanny and pawpaw...I never want him to feel rejection! Now, my MIL wants to see them, and she would see them a lot if it were up to her. She is afraid to go against my FIL....there would be no peace at all in that household.
I know that friends can be like family...I'm grateful for that. Still, my heart just breaks for Kade, who gets all excited when he hears "nanny" or "pawpaw".

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I know what you mean, Dana. It's been real hard watching Maddie get rejected by my mom when they had such a strong bond. Now Maddie isn't so crazy about her. I think grandparents are important. Unfortunately my kids really don't have any that are active in their lives. It's hard.

And my mom has never been crazy about Ethan. David is a different story. Now that I have him, she calls a million times a day to check on him.

A&A'smommy replied: awww Dana I'm so sorry!!! I hope God will change their hearts...