Another spin off of cheating post

lisar wrote: Okay my question is:

If your S/O cheated on you. What about the person he cheated with? For instance if it were me and the girl my dh cheated with, if she knew he was married would you go after her? Would you hate her? What if she didnt know that he was married?

My answer: If the girl knew he was married, I would kick her butt. To put it nicley. And I know people are gona hate me for saying that, but I just think my anger would get the best of me in that situation.

If the girl didnt know that he was married then I wouldnt have a problem with her at all.

The reason I am asking is cause I know someone who cheated and their wife beat up the girl he cheated with but she knew nothing about him being married. I think that is wrong. But I was just curious on what everyone else thinks.

cameragirl21 replied: i think anyone's natural reaction is going to be to hate the girl with whom he cheated but the truth is that whether she knows he's married or not, she is not the reason...if a guy wants to cheat, he'll find someone to cheat with so it's really not the other woman's fault. the way i see it, it's not her responsibility to keep the guy faithful to his wife, that's up to the guy himself.
doesn't mean i wouldn't hate her though, that i wouldn't be able to help.

lisar replied:
Yea but see even when I was single I would never date a married man. And I would always ask any guy I met if he had a girlfriend. Doesnt mean he wouldnt lie to me. But I would make that attempt. I just think its wrong if a woman was to do that knowing he was married. I see your point though. There are alot of women out there who wouldnt care if a guy was married. I just couldnt do it cause I wouldnt want it done to me. KWIM?

gr33n3y3z replied: I would kick his butt and throw all his crap out the door along with him
and for her she better go to many states away bc she would be next!!

redchief replied:
Have I told you I love you today, hon?

gr33n3y3z replied:
yes you did many of times

lisar replied:
LOL....

C&K*s Mommie replied: Hate her? Of course. No, no physical harm though- doing so would not put me in any better of a position being that I would be in jail or prison.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: She knew, I never did find out who exactly she was. All I know is that her first name was Katie. And no, I wouldn't have done anything to her. That's just not my style. In my opinion, by not going after her, I showed who was the bigger person. Namely, ME.

luvmykids replied: Not my style, like Kelly said. And what good would it do?

Crystalina replied:
I agree. It wouldn't accomplish anything. I would not kick her butt because I'm 32, I'm passed that point in my life. Life is too short to be kicking anyones butt. Besides that is she really worth it? Is he for that matter?

Kentuckychick replied: First off, if the woman had no idea then there's honestly no way I could be angry at her... I'd still be angry, I would just have to direct all the anger at him.

Now, if the woman knew, I would certainly despise her. I wouldn't however beat her up or do her any bodily damage... it wouldn't be worth going to jail for beating her up. Now my husband on the otherhand...

And oh he'd SO be out the door, NO second chances here

I actually read a dear abby recently where the woman was complaining because the guy she was dating thought that they should go see the same couples therapist that he and his WIFE were seeing. She said she wanted the relationship to work but thought seeing the same one would be "inappropriate"...

Yeah, that sleeping with a married man thing... that just reeks of "appropriateness"

Gag.

redplaydoh replied: Of course I'd hate her if she knew but my wrath would be against my husband and oh it would be wicked! My vows were to him and HE would've broken them, not the other woman.

hoosier momma replied: Of course I would probably hate her, but it would be my husband who would take the brunt of my anger. After all he is the one who is supposed to be honoring our marriage, no one else can do that for him. Let's hope I never have to deal with this anyway.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: To be completely honest..... she'd have to be pretty darn dumb to not realize he's in a relationship. Never staying the night, never going to his place, always meeting in out of the way places, never being able to really see her in the evenings, no home phone number....

yep, she'd have to be pretty stupid not to think anything of it.

I wouldn't be angry with her.... except if she continued seeing him even after knowing. He's the one I made the vows with, not her. She's not the homewrecker, he is. He made the conscious decision to break vows and wreck the home.

I wouldn't become her best friend... but I don't think I'd really have any negative feelings towards her.

Bamamom replied:
Exactly - she wouldn't have cheated on me - he would have. He made the vows. Now if she was in another relationship too then that would be between her and her SO. Sure - I'd have hard feelings towards her but I'd never confront her or anything like that.

A friend of mine had an affair with a married man. As her pastor explained it to her - she was guilty of having premaritial sex but he was guilty of adultery. I kind of agree with that.

coasterqueen replied:
ITA.

Course my instinct would be to want to kick her into another planet, but I know I wouldn't do it.