Another question to ponder - (Brat Camp)

coasterqueen wrote: I still find it very hard to believe someone goes through their teenage years without experimenting with anything (sex, drugs, alcohol, etc). Not saying any of you are liars, just that I don't think I've met anyone like that. The closest would be my sister who didn't date men in highschool whereas I dated too many in highschool.

Anyways, I'm just curious. Do you think religion plays a role in this at all? As far as not experimenting at all with things in life? Religion was null in my life during my growing up years.

luvbug00 replied: I think religon was a stong force in my life until I was 9 or so. I am baptized catholic. That's when I was given the choise to be confirmed or not. I choose not to and since then I have no orginized religon in my life. Brad would not allow me to Baptize Mya so she has no orginized religon..although my dad tries to make her catholic. I think that religon may have made a differance. I might have been less likely to do some of the things I did. Maybe It would've stopped the sex but I dunno about the drinking.

Josie83 replied: I don't know about anyone else but I was brought up in a very religious house and look where it got me!! My mother was and is a devout catholic (or so she says, I would possibly disagree) and so she would not let us get away with anything! We were not allowed to swear, go out, have friends who weren't Cathlics, drinks, smoke, have sex, have boyfriends/girlfriends . . . blah blah. She made us go to church/confession and all of it.

Let me right now say I am not opposed to religion, I do believe in god. but I don't see why it should be rammed down your throat to such an extent. I think sometimes her Catholici9sm is just an excuse because in my recollection, it was judge not lest you be judged and I wouldn't have thought any lovng God would have a mother treat her children how my mother treats hers. But ANYWAY I am getting off-subject

What I am trying to say is I was brought up in a very religious household, where were read the Bible, had religious things up, had altars in our rooms etc from being babies. We went to Catholic schools and we weren't supposed to visit other houses that weren't Catholic.

Yet I still lost my virginity at fourteen, started smoking at fifteen, skived off school, got into trouble, had a baby at eighteen . . . Maybe instead of the religion thing my mother could have tried the love your kids thing. because all that house made me do was want to get out . . . and now I've brought shame on my family in the WORST possible way

Sorry for the totally self-indulgent vent btw. but, you did ask xx

MommyToAshley replied: Religion was a big part of my life and definitley had an influence on the decisions I made. I know you have heard the terms so many times, but it really was my moral compass.

However, I don't think your religion should be used as a tool to scare, judge or punish anyone, especially your own kids. And, I have seen this happen in very religious families.

ETA: Josie, I think we were typing at the same time, I don't want you to think I was referring to your post. I was speaking of first hand experiences that I witnessed.

kimberley replied: i think religion and culture play a big part in that. i know a lot of kids who didn't experiment with anything out of sheer fear. oriental, indian, asian mostly. they were conditioned from childhood to be subservient to their elders. but it also depends on the kid. some rebel, others dont.

my experience... i was raised by a catholic filipino father and a strict mother who wasn't entirely religious. my mom is the reason i rebelled because she gave me no trust or respect at all. she was super strict without love or reasoning. my dad was a hypocrit who drank and sinned but he always kept communication open and listened to me. his values kept me grounded. kept me from drowning in the bad lifestyle.

mammag replied: I was raised believing in God but we weren't "religious" meaning going to church regularly, or having preachy parents. I was raised and still consider myself southern Baptist. I think it's more of an inner spirituality that will make a difference than a religiousness. If your heart isn't in it and you don't believe it, it's not going to make a difference.

I know for sure it played a roll in the fact that Chris was my first. I was not willing to give it out willy nilly because I knew it was wrong and could not have lived with myself. I struggled a lot with the decision to sleep with him also but alas my 17yo hormones got the better of me....

I did drink a little bit but didn't get drunk until after I had graduated highschool. That was more from knowing my parents would kill me if I came home drunk so I knew I had to stop at a drink or so.

I didn't (and also still have never) try cigarettes or drugs because I knew how bad it was for you and when I was 16 I started going to the gym with Chris so I wasn't about to ruin the hard work I was putting in by putting that crap in my body.

I think another thing that affected my decision to not get involved in all that was seeing what it did to my friends and father. Plus knowing the addictive gene was in my family (for generations) I was afraid I wouldn't be able to quit.

Okay so I got a little off the topic I think but basically, I think an inner morality and spirituality will make a difference but not a forced religiousness.

ediep replied: I was really good in HS, I occasionally drank at parties but I never drove after that. I dated a few guys, but I didn't sleep with any of them. I never did any drugs or smoked. I always had a job and paid for most of my things. My parents always knew where I was and I obeyed cerfew.

I was raised Catholic and I still am pretty devout. I don't really know if my religion had anything to do with why I was good, I guess it was more of my morals and i know that came from my parents.

Jamison'smama replied: I was raised in a strong Christian household--attending church etc. It did not keep me from experimenting however I think it kept me from going too far--I had guilt --I hated the thought of letting my parents down. I think what church did for me was give me a group of friends who at least felt bad or guilty for doing things--it enabled me to say no more easily. I had an outlet that was at least morally based even if we stumbled--which WE ALL did. I don't regret my wild times (well some of them) but I'm not exactly proud. I think what a belief system can do is give you the ability to feel a little more in control--guilt can be a good thing.

debbiedoo replied: I was not raised in a particularly religious household.

Now I was the kid who all the adults thought was perfect - in by curfew, good grades, didnt get into trouble, etc...

They just didnt know what I was really like. not that i was bad, because compared to the kids on brat camp i was an angel, but I would go out and party and drink and have sex. I never got drunk, and I always maintained enough of myself to know what i was doing, but then i knew what kind of trouble i would be in if i came home all s***faced, kwim?

so my poor kids man, they had better make up new tricks, because i know all the ones out there all ready! lol

jdkjd replied: I was raised in the church (every wednesday and all day sunday) and had pretty restrictive rules. I was sexually active in high school but I didn't try drugs or really drink until college.

I'm hoping to have a more open dialogue with my children than I had growing up about sex and drugs but I'm still planning on being fairly strict about what I expect from them.

I feel like my parents gave me enough of a foundation that when I was out on my own and trying more things that they forbid, I still had a lot more common sense about how far to go and when to stop or recognize that I had gone to far.

Do you know what I mean?

gr33n3y3z replied: maybe I cant say it is or isnt

As parents we can teach them right from wrong its up to them to apply what we teach them.
Teaching your children to respect others and their property and teaching your child to be leaders and not followers I think helps alot.

jcc64 replied: I'm with you, Karen. I really didn't know too many people who didn't experiment with SOMETHING. I think sometimes the term religion is used/confused with spirituality, and the two can be mutually exclusive. For example, I consider myself a very spiritual person, a very moral person, but not a religious person. Meaning- I am not affiliated with any one particular religion. And I do know quite a few religious people (not here) who don't happen to be very spiritual or loving. But I digress.
I guess I was only afraid to disappoint my parents when the rule in question made some kind of sense to me. I was extremely respectful of my body and who I shared it with. That made sense to me. I was a high achiever. That made sense to me. But I didn't understand how smoking a little pot or drinking a few beers was indicative of some kind of moral failing or a lack of respect for myself or them, and I still don't. Knowing now what I do, and how the responsibilities of adult life can swallow you up pretty quickly, I'm glad I had a good time as a kid. I'd do it all over again, tbh, and as long as my kids don't jeopardize their futures or compromise their own moral codes, then I can't begrudge them that same experience. I'll be watching carefully from the sidelines.

jcc64 replied:


There's still time for that. I'll bring you over to the "dark" side if it kills me!