And it Starts Again...More Problems with Emily

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: I really don't know what is going on with her right now. After the first incident with MSN I told her that we would be recording her messages. Now I find out that she has been selectively deleting ones that she doesn't want me to see. Anyway my Bestfriend called me today and told me that she needed to talk to DH and I. So after marriage counselling we head over there. Lastnight Emily was talking to my friends daughter and her friend and she was telling them that she had a boyfriend. That he was 14 years old and that he came into the house and rapped her. My friends daughter knew it was just a hoax, but the other girl didn't and was getting quite upset. So the 2 friends talked and they called the police. At 1:30 in the morning the police arrived and Emily was still on the computer. Finally confessed that she made this all up. My friend copied there MSN conversation onto a disk and gave it to the police. Anyway the police are supposed to be coming to our house to talk to her. And there's more, she found the internet connection for her room that we took away from her the last time.

I'm so worried and I feel like such a horrible parent! I'm tired and scared and I just worry that one day it won't be my friends daughter calling the police it will be the police coming to us, telling us that something has happened to Emily!

DH and I have agreed to keep this all hush hush until the police actually show up. And then we will decide on a course of action. I'm definately calling her counsellor tomorrow, if I can get away from Emily and set up another apt. with her. I don't care what Emily says, she needs it!

A&A'smommy replied: You are not a horrible parent!!!! I hope the couseling helps I'm sorry ya'll are going through this!!!

luvmykids replied: You're not a horrible parent, by any means. She's obviously going through some rough stuff and it's not your fault. I hope the counselor can help

eta: Am I understanding correctly that she was at someone elses house when all this happened? Not that it makes a difference, just wasn't sure.

kimberley replied: oh no! i am sorry hon. counselling is the best idea right now. p&pt your way. keep us posted.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
No, she was at our house using the computer to MSN her friends. My friends daughter and friend realized that they needed to do something drastic this time and called the police from there house. I wonder if the police will actually show up? I wonder if maybe I should call them and ask them to come here and talk to her. I wonder if any of this will make any difference at all.

Thanks everyone for your support.

luvmykids replied:
I don't know either, on one hand, hearing from the cops about the dangers of who she may be talking to might give her a healthy scare, and hearing that she could get in trouble for lying online might help too. The flip side is, it sounds drastic and scary and it would be hard to judge how well she might handle that.

I'm sorry this is going on

redchief replied: Wow. Why do you think she's acting out so?

Calimama replied: You are NOT a horrible parent. I would take the computer away all together. I agree that letting the cops come talk to her might be a bit drastic but if that's what it takes then it might be worth it. I'm sorry you are going through this, I hope things start looking up soon hun.

grapfruit replied: Lots of hugs

Your family is/has been going through some heavy stuff. I think it's not surprising she's acting out, but it's still sad.

You are NOT a bad parent. Don't forget that. We ALL know you love your children and worry about them a ton! Nobody thinks any different!

Personally I do not think it's drastic to have the police come to the house to talk to her. I think that's part of their job. And I'm sure some of them would agree with that. I'm SURE they would MUCH rather come and talk to her BEFORE something happens.

When I was 17 I came home one morning (like 3am) to a sheriff sitting at my kitchen table waiting for me...needless to say I never missed curfew again.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
DH and I and my friend think she is doing this to get attention. That she is jealous of Spencer and Claudia. But this isn't the case, I do a lot of one on one things with her. Taking her out for lunch, going shopping, watching a movie with her when the other kids are in bed. Both of her bestfriends are away right now, so she's bored. But then again, unless DH and I planned things for her, she never leaves the house.

grapfruit replied: I know it's more work for you guys, but have you thought about putting her in dance or a club or something. Something 'just for her' if you KWIM?

I know you feel like you spend lots of time w/her, but sometimes they gloss over those dinners and stuff. What does she like to do (besides play on the computer). Can you put her in an art class or something?

Not that I'd EVER claim to be a psychologist or something like that. But maybe what she needs is something to be proud of, a positive way to channel her energy (and relieve her bordom). That's why I thought maybe an art class. You may check into ceramic classes in your area. I know from experience, working w/raw clay is hard work! But also soothing and rewarding, and seeing your finished creation is like nothing else...Just a thought

luvmykids replied:
We did this for Kylie...she just started gymnastics and it has made a HUGE difference in the two weeks she's been going.

redchief replied:
Please don't take this personally, but I think you're on a path of revelation if we keep going. I didn't ask why people thought she was doing this... I asked why you thought she was doing this. I think if you look into it hard enough, you'll be able to come up with a plan of action and support for yourselves and Emily.

lisar replied: You are NOT a bad parent by any means.
How old is she again? Sorry I cant remember.
I hope all goes well and the police may put a scare on her and help her though.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: We talked to her today. She says she is a pathological liar, which I don't agree with. We've taken measures to have her MSN messages saved to a different account. I've put a password on her Log In onto the computer. We've grounded her from the computer for a month and I've deleted some other message boards that she was on. I was so blind to what the internet was like. The police still have not come here yet. I called her counsellor this morning and we are going to set something up nextweek. Thank You all for your support!

lisar replied:
Good luck and let us know how it all works out.