Am I wrong here.. - sleepover question

sparkys2boys wrote: Ok, so my oldest DS has a friend from school that he plays with alot and happens to be a girl. They play here at the house and her house to, I know her mother from years ago and we get along great. So anyways he wanted her to come here for a sleepover tonight.. no problem, yesterday I sent a note with him to give her for her parents saying that he would like her to come over, it was fine with us, whatever night was good for them etc. Well.... her mom calls awhile ago and says to me I don't think that I will be comfortable with that situation,I do not think we should be encouraging them at this age.. WTF.. encouraging them to do what..geesh.. they are 8 for heavens sake not 16....I asked her what she meant by this and she bluntly says to be sleeping over at a boys house it's not healthy... am I wrong here.. should I not have asked.. I never gave it a thought, they are friends and are only 8. What do you guys think on this?? be honest here.. am I wrong to think it's crazy??

C&K*s Mommie replied: speaking for myself only here, I would not want my 8 yr old dauhter sleeping over at a boys house either. On one hand it seems innocent, and I understand your thinking- they are kids for crying out loud right? But I would be more comfortable if opposite sex sleepovers did not occur. Frankly speaking, sleepovers at any age until our girls are married will not occur (they cannot get married until they are in their 40's)--- according to my husband.

mckayleesmom replied: I don't think you are wrong....and I don't think she is wrong. People have different views on things.....I can understand your thinking...just as well as hers. Back in the day, this wouldn't be questioned so much, but in our oversexed world now...everything is questioned....even with 8 year olds.....I think she is just trying to be cautious.

mom21kid2dogs replied: With male nephews, the boys (my husband and whomever is staying) sleep in one room and O and I sleep in another. I'm fine with that. I doubt I would be comfortable with my daughter staying with one of her male friends at any age regardless of the sleeping arrangements. Please don't read in that I think your invatation is "wrong", I'm well aware that coed sleepovers are the "norm" these days but we won't be doing it here. Guess I better get ready for this one, eh? My daughter's friends are both male & female and I've been told by more than one of their moms that she's considered "one of the dudes". Like mother like daughter!

CantWait replied: Robbie had a girl sleep over when he was about 7 or 8. So no I don't see a problem with it either.

mom2my2cuties replied: As a mom to a little girl and a little boy both, I wouldn't allow either of them to have a friend of the opposite sex sleep over period!



That being said...I do agree with Brianne that neither of you are wrong...Everyone just has different ways of looking at this kind of thing.

Crystalina replied: I'm not saying it's wrong or it's right but (and I don't want to speak for you) but maybe you didn't think anything was wrong with the invitation because the sleepover was going to be at your house. I know that I would let kids stay at my house because I know that it is safe but I would never in a million years let my kids stay at someone else's house because I have no control over what will happen there. I guess it's a control thing with me. I would let a boy stay at my house but Izabella would never go to a boys house. Double stanard?...yeah but oh well. And it would only be a boy we know very very well.

Don't sweat it. I'm sure she doesn't think you are crazy or anything. I wouldn't . Some people just have differant rules for their kids. I just know that I'm not a lunatic but you never know if your neighbors are.

CantWait replied:
You make a good point there also.

After thinking about it also, if I were to have a little girl, I might think the opposite way.

Calimama replied: I had my first boyfriend at 11. Obviously it wasnt a serious relationship but at the time I was sure it was. My point being, I'd be hesitant to let Bella sleep over at a boys house, even at 8, kids are starting to date earlier and earlier these days. I guess it really depends on how close to their age they act.

C&K*s Mommie replied: with this as well. Neither of you are crazy or wrong.

A&A'smommy replied: well honestly I agree with her I would not be comfortable with an opposite-sex sleepover, it just really isn't a good idea anymore they seem to start SO young now and when I was that age I NEVER EVER would have thought about that but now I hear about those things happening quite a bit. And they are SO curious at that age i just wouldn't want my little girl being put in that situation. JMO

Nina J replied: I wouldn't be uncomfortable with it. Maybe if they were a little older, but not when they're 8.

JadensMama05 replied:
I agree big time.

paradisemommy replied: i had a male best friend growing up - he lived directly across from our house. we were about 8 to 10 yrs old and i wanted so badly to sleep over at his house - not because i liked him at all (not in that way) but because he had all the cool toys and stuff..my parents refused to let me..just throwing this out from a kids point of view but then again that was 20 yrs ago and we all know things have changed quite a lot in that time..

i would have to say it depends on how well i knew the boy. if they were really good friends and hung out all the time to the point of us knowing him really well and vice versa with his family then i don't see anything wrong with it.

hawkshoe replied: I too can see both points of view. Personally, I would not allow my child to participate in opposite sex sleepovers at any age. Instead, I would opt for a movie and pizza night with possibly a late pick up.

Crystalina replied:
OOOh, that's a great idea.

TheOaf66 replied:
they probably say the same about you

Boo&BugsMom replied:
ITA!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Crystal, you can smack him if you want!

cameragirl21 replied: you know, Sherri, i could certainly be wrong here but i'm thinking that it's got nothing to do with the girl's parents not trusting you or your son but rather the fact that these days, 8 is not as innocent as it used to be and 8 years olds turn into 12 years olds really quickly and i think their issue is probably the fact that they don't want their daughter to see them as encouraging her or even allowing her to spend the night with any boy because by the time she is 14 or so and may be in the position to be not so innocent anymore, she may think back and remember her parents allowing her to do this and see that as some form of approval.
idk if what i said made sense because i don't think i expressed myself very well but i think that is probably their true issue with all of this.

boyohboyohboy replied:
I agree...its a sad state of affairs now a days the kids just cant be kids, but they do start earlier and earlier..

redchief replied: I see and respect both sides of this. I don't think you did anything wrong by asking, but I also don't see any problem with the girl's mother being uncomfortable with it. I think you just let it go and let your son know that his friend won't be allowed to spend the night.