Am I just being over-protective?

MommyToAshley wrote: Ashley's had several invites to drop-off playdates. I usually gracefully decline or suggest we go to the park instead (where I do not feel like I am intruding if I stay). I have let her stay with a Mom I have come to know really well, we've become good friends, and she has a similar parenting style to mine. I feel comfortable leaving Ashley with her. But, other than that, I just don't feel comfortable dropping Ashley off at a friend's house. Am I the only one that feels this way about their 3 or 4 year old? Other parents don't seem to have a problem with it.

JP&KJMOM replied: I don't think you are over protective but just a cautious mommy like most normal mommies! Karlee is about to turn 4 and she does not stay at friends houses for play dates without me either.

kristy-n-chad replied: My Noah is only 2, but I always gracefully decline when people want him to go to their house... Especially when I was pg with Abram, everyone at my church was so sweet and offered to take him for a bit so I could rest, but I always refused. If someone wanted to watch him at my house, fine, but I was nervous sending him to a house he was unfamiliar with, with people he didn't know too well... Maybe I need to cut the apron strings a bit, but esp. if the people only had older kids, you forget all a toddler can get into, how do I know everything really is child proofed?

luvbug00 replied: Mya is 5 and I still stand in the dorrway for 30 min at shaes house ( and she's only there for an hour or so) I won't let her go if I don't know the parents period!

lesliesmom replied: I still have a problem letting my 4yo (almost 5) go next door to play with the neighbors nieces. Now we are very good friends with the neighbors and I trust them completely, it's HER I don't trust. I worry she'll start being bossy (as she tends to be) or make a mess and not clean it up. Things like that.

MommyToAshley replied: Thanks... at least I know now that if I am over-protective, I'm not the only one.

I know I have brought this subject up in the past, but it has come up again quite a bit lately now that Ashley is older.

mammag replied: I agree, not overprotective at all. She is still pretty young. Better safe than sorry.

gr33n3y3z replied: no your not at all

Kaitlin'smom replied: I dont think you are. When we went to a b-day part at the majic castle (big game room type thing) I was supprised at the parents who dropped off and came back later. theres are 3-4 year olds. For me way to scary as to what could happen and if I were the hostess I would be freeked the whole time. SO no I wont drop and leave her unless I know the person. I am also weirded out that soemone I know lets there kids play outside alone in the front yard, the youngest is about 1 month older than Kait and the oldest is maybe 8. I dunno we live in a nice area no real traffic except neighbors but I just could not let her out there alone, not even in our fenced in back yard (well thats more of the dog issues right now). I am just way to scared of something happing.

DansMom replied: We've never dropped Daniel off with anyone we don't know very, very well. For playdates, one of us is always there to supervise. That being said, we definitely qualify as overprotective parents of an only child With his food allergies, I just don't trust other parents to understand the seriousness of potential exposures or to handle an allergic reaction effectively.

redchief replied: I don't think wanting to get to know parents who would have your child over is being overprotective at all.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I still won't allow Maddie (6) to go on a playdate without me...not unless I know the parents REALLY well. I'm not comfortable leaving either of my children with just anyone. I don't think it's being over protective, just protective.

C&K*s Mommie replied: to all the above. Not overprotective at all.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I would never leave my child at a person's house if I didn't know the parents, especially at this age! Too many weirdos out there! I don't think you are over protective at all, just using your common sense.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I don't think you're being over-protective, but I may be in the minority here and have actually considered dropping Wil off at my usual playgroup without me. I haven't done it yet, but now that Wesley is here, all of the moms have offered to take Wil for a couple hours so that I can either run errands with just Wesley or just rest. I've been in the same playgroup for over a year now, so I know all the moms and their homes really well. I know that they are child-proofed and I have seen all of the moms interact well with Wil, so I'm not worried. BUT, if I hardly knew them and have never seen their home, no way.

Brias3 replied: I feel the exact way you do. Both my older two really didn't go to playdates without me until they were around 4-5. There are still some occasions when Ryan or Aliyah is invited over to someone's home I don't feel comfortable leaving them at and at nearly 8 and 5 years old, they just don't go or I invite that child over to our home instead.

ITA with your decisions!

Ashlynn's Mommy replied: I think your just being a good parent. I don't let Cynthia go anywhere unless I know the parent's personally, and if I don't then they come to my house, or we go to the park. And she's 9, and I just started doing this a few month's ago before this she didn't go to friend's houses. You have to be really careful, you never know what wacko is lurking around. I say the more protective you are the better. Your only trying to keep them safe .

MyLuvBugs replied: I don't know if it's necessarily being over-protective...but cautious. I wouldn't leave a child under 5 with someone I "sorta" knew. I definately stay with her, unless it was someone that I knew well and trusted. KWIM?

DVFlyer replied: If I knew the parents REALLY well and had witnessed how they are with their children (or just how they were if they didn't have children), I would be OK with leaving our kids. But I find most people would not me my criteria.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Personally... with my 3 kids... we don't get invited to many playdate... But we do regularly have a few friends here. I don't mind if the parents drop off their kids to play for a bit, I relaly don't. BUT - I ALWAYS invite the parent to stay for coffee or something, so that they don't feel like they're intruding if they want to stay to supervise too.

But this one "friend"... she has a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old baby... and she calls a few weeks ago to set up a playdate... she tells me - oh yeah - we'll be there at 10, until 11... she gets here at 11, and LEAVES her two kids with me until 3pm. I wasn't impressed...and I told her that it wasn't what we'd agreed on... we haven't spoken since.

mummy2girls replied: i wouldnt at this age.. other than her dayhome. but iof a parent of one of the kids asked me i dont think i would say yes. id be too nervous.. maby when she is a couple years older..like 6...

ian'smommy replied: Ian will be 4 in about a week and he still does not have playdates without me there. Most times because even though I am friendly with the mothers, I don't know them that well. In fact when he is older and wants to play with friends, I will be much happier if his friends are here instead of him being THERE. That way I know what is going on. That creates a problem if the other kid's parents feel the same way though. LOL
Ian has a little friend who lives next door. They play outside together. I am always out there to watch even when his parents are too. I feel weird about expecting them to watch MY son. So even when they are watching, I watch too. I don't think you are being overprotective at all.