Am I a horrible mother?

A&A'smommy wrote: I feel horrible. I want to get pregnant again so bad! Why do I feel this way??? Today alyssa was sleeping and she started to suck on my arm (she was getting hungry) I haven't tried to breastfeed her in almost threee months . My heart hurts soo bad because i couldnt breastfeed her. I read somewhere that they shouldnt have told me not to breastfeed. I just hate this hospital they are so ignorant here! I want to be pregnant so bad sometimes my heart just ACHES. I talk about *next time* ALL the time, the other day Jeremiah asked me not talk to about it because it will *jinx* us (meaning I will get pregnant before we are *ready*). Finacially were not ready, and i don't want to take this time alyssa and i have away! I don't know what my problem is. I hear all about the flutters, the breastfeeding, the heartbeat, and i feel so jealous (also VERY happy for them!). Please don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. I just needed to get this off my chest! Thanks I feel better now!

ediep replied: I definately don't think you are a bad moomy, in fact just the opposite.....I think you are a natural Mommy!! You will get your chance to have lots of babies. Its normal to want to be pregnant again. Enjoy your sweet baby while its just you, dh and baby Alyssa for now

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Awww Jessie, I completely understand! I went through similar feelings when my DD wouldn't breastfeed. When I got pregnant with my DS I was bound and determined that this baby would breastfeed. You will still have that special bond with her, it isn't your fault! I'm so sorry that you were given the wrong advice when Alyssa was born!

juliajaj replied: I can understand what you're feeling. The day after Olivia was born, I missed the feeling of having a living being inside of me. I nursed her for a year, but I never considered myself a better mom than other moms that formula-feed. You're the best mom you can be, and that's the most important thing that Alyssa needs. I was 35 when Olivia was born. DH & I wanted to wait until Olivia was 1 year old before we tried to conceive again. Fortunately we didn't have any problems conceiving, and I'm expecting baby #2 in July. Since I'm 36 and DH is 42, we're thinking this will probably be the last baby. I'm accepting this, but part of me is saddened to realize that I might not enjoy the feeling of a baby growing inside of me after this baby is born. The most important jobs in my life now are to be a good mother to my children and a good wife to my husband.

Relax & enjoy this special time you have with your new family.

kimberley replied: awww Jessy Ann ((((hugs))) i feel the same way sometimes especially with all the new babies being born and the appt updates. we aren't *ready* yet either for another one but the thought of being pg again does warm my heart that makes us good mommies because we have such big hearts we need more babies to share our love

pinka_star replied: I can totally understand where you're coming from. I've wanted to TTC again for the past 6 months. I LOVE being a Mother, it's the best thing. We aren't finacially ready for another child right now either.

You are a wonderful Mother, and when the time is right you and Jeremiah will have another baby. Just enjoy that adorable little girl right now.

Mom2Boyz replied: You're definatly NOT a bad Mother
I've been feeling the same way. Don't get me wrong, I love Conner more than life itself, and I am sooooooooooooooooo happy he is here, but I really miss being pg and having him all to myself. It's a wonderful feeling to know that you are growing a brand new life inside of you.
I would love to be pg again, but like you, we're not *ready*. Don't get yourself down, I'm sure you're a GREAT MoM


Can I ask why why you were told not to breastfeed?
Just curious because I was told the same thing when the results of Conners PKU came back. They had to redo his 3 times!!!!
But because he wasn't ill or showing any symptoms of what they *thought* he had, his new ped told me to go ahead.

MylittlePaige replied: Hugs to you sweetie. I don't think you are feeling anything unnormal or anything that makes you a bad mommy at all. I can totally relate to your wants and missing being pregnant. DH also tells me by bringing this up all the time that I am going to *jinx* us, it peeves me that he says that bc honestly even if we did get pregnant without trying I wouldn't think of that as jinxing us but as a blessing. We have had discussions about him not referring to me getting pregnant again as jinxing bc it makes me upset to refer to it like that. I honestly didn't think he even realized how I was taking that and I would bet your DH doesn't either. We just have to be patient and wait until things are better financially and we are at a place where we are ready to have another. Until then just enjoy all the times you have now with that little angel and just know that one day you will be able to do all these firsts again. Then it will be even more special because Alyssa will be able to share them with you and DH.
Hugs~Alli and Paige

jen replied: You aren't a bad mommy, that is for certain! You will have the opportunity to have many more children! I don't think it is unnatural to want more! I think being pregnant is the greatest thing! Just give yourself time and don't punish yourself for feeling the way you do! I already talk about the next one and I haven't even had Maddy yet! LOL and I am at the "uncomfortable stage"!! HA!

Boys r us replied: You're not a bad mother at all sweetie! I think that it just shows how big your heart is and that you have plenty more room for another baby to love.. Ive been feeling the sameway..part of me wants another baby so badly right now, but the other half of me knows that now is not the time in our family structure b/c I want to ensure that Braedon has been given his due time in the "spotlight" as the baby before we have a new one..I want to learn all I can learn about about the baby I already have before I bring another new life into the world! Good luck hun..I know how strong that driving need can be, so hang tight and it will happen when it's right!

Lily replied: Aww, you are not a horrible mommy. I think what you are feeling is normal. As far as the breastfeeding goes, that issue goes both ways. I was forced to let my child go hungry for the first 24 hours of his life because the nurses wouldn't believe me when I told them my breasts weren't producing enough milk and that Jesse wasn't latching on. It wasn't his fault or mine. Just the way things go. I tried and tried to breastfeed but it just didn't happen for us. I finally had to practically strangle the nurses to get them to believe me and 24 HOURS after my son was born he finally got his first food. I was LIVID. Just give it all time and before you know it you will be able to have a baby again.

A&A'smommy replied:
I had a c-section, the first day I couldn’t breastfeed because I was asleep and there was no way I waking up something I couldn’t help. The next day she latched on and did perfectly! I had a high fever after they took my IV out a day before I was *suppose* to go home, so they had to put me on antibiotics. The doctor KNEW I was going to breastfeed and he put me on something safe for Alyssa to breastfeed. WELLL the ignorant nurses told me NOT to breastfeed because of blah reasons. I was SOOO upset but I went with it. My mom bought me a pump so I could keep up my supply, and trust me at that time I had PLENTY of stuff coming out of me (Sorry TMI). Well the doctor found out that I wasn’t breastfeeding and put me on a different antibiotic that wasn’t safe and told me to keep pumping two weeks later there was no way she was latching on and we don’t have latch consultants here (HOW dumb is that?). I was so emotional tired of the screaming that I gave up and now I wish I hadn’t now. That is my sad story sorry its so long!

pinka_star replied:
That's so horrible, stupid nurses!!! Hopefully next time you can breastfeed. *smacks the nurses*

Elle replied: Oh, sweetheart, you're not a bad mommy at all! You're the best momma Alyssa can have. And don't blame yourself for paying attention to the stupid nurses... When I had Alexis many people (including those nurses, God, why are they even there?) tried to talk me out of breastfeeding, but thank goodness my big sister wouldn't let me listen to those people.
When we're mommies for the first time there are many things that we don't know... But you'll have the chance to breastfeed your second baby, I'm sure.
Meanwhile, enjoy your little princess! They don't stay babies for long, so enjoy her NOW!

mummy2girls replied: No your not a horrible mother! I want another baby right now but because im single I will not let that happen. but believe me when i get married i hopefully will have one more. You are seeing your baby grow up and you are starting to miss alot of things. And dont feel bad about the bf...you will bf your next angel.

A&A'smommy replied: I CAN"T get it out of my head it is driving me CRAZY! I keep biting my tongue so I won't tell dh that I want another. I know for a fact that he wouldn't be able to handle it right now. Maybe this feeling will pass for a little while I hope so anyway. My heart is literally aching for another baby. I love Alyssa So much I kiss her sweet eyes and her sweet cheaks, I rub her belly, Let her suck on my fingers, I do all those little things that just bring tears to you eyes because you love them SO much! Alyssa is so wonderful and SO special to me why do I want another baby so bad? I need to get it out but if I say it out loud to someone they are going to look at me like I'm crazy and then if I get another *surprise* pregnancy no will believe me that I didn't do it on purpose! KWIM? I do take my bc on time everyday and I try SOOO hard not to forget just because I really know it wouldn't be a good idea to have another baby right now. I will quite babbeling and freaking out now...sorry I whine so much ya'll!

pinka_star replied: I really really understand where you're coming from Jessica. My heart aches for another baby too, REALLY bad. I constantly tell DH I want a second baby, and ask him when we're going to start ttc. He gets scared though and always says "In a few years maybe." sometimes it really breaks my heart cause I want another baby so bad. I LOVE being a Mother so much, Emma is such a beautiful, wonderful child. But I know if DH and I have another baby right now it'll be hard for us. We're not finacially ready for another baby right now. So I just focus on Emma, and the one on one time we have together while we still have it. Cause once a second baby comes I won't be able to focus all my energy on her.

It'll get better I think, I hope anyways!

coasterqueen replied: You are not a horrible mommy at all. We all have that feeling of wanting another one. Every time I hear someone else pg I want to be so pg so bad. LOL. It's just so natural for us I think. I often wonder when I'm *done* having kids if those feelings will go away or will I always yearn for another one.