Alone time - question and vent

Danalana wrote: Okay, I posted a thread a few days ago about DH going on a ski trip, beginning Friday morning. WELL, he's NOT going now All of a sudden, there's just too much work for him to leave (he's a mechanic...he and his father have a transmission business). I am incredibly angry about this because I was SO looking forward to alone time.
My question is this: Do any of you ever just want some time to yourself? Is it unusual for me to want it so much? Seriously, we have been married almost 2 1/2 years and I haven't had one night by myself. It's not like I wawnt to send him away for weeks on end...just ONE night every once in a while. I guess it's because I am so independent and always have been. When I dated others, I didn't have to be with that person all the time...you know? Also, since I didn't get married until I was 31, I'm not used to having somebody right there all the time.
Luckily, I think DH is going to find something to do this weekend...at least that's what he says. I think I'm realizing it's now or never. I'm never going to get a couple of nights to myself again.
Does this make sense?

austins mom replied: Its perfectly normal. I get my husband to go away about 2 times a year if not more. But im pretty lucky his best friend and mom lives 3 1/2 hrs away so thats where he goes. But since hes not going u take a trip somewhere for the night or weekend.

luvmykids replied: It makes total sense. I've always craved alone time, even when I was single, once in awhile I just wanted everyone to leave me to myself for a day or two. And of course, since marriage and kids, I crave it even more On top of it, for the majority of our marriage DH has worked out of town so as much as I love it when we're all together as a family, it gets on my nerves when he's around too long Him being gone right now has had it's downsides but for the most part, I'm really enjoying it. And that makes me feel really bad So yes, it's normal Unless I'm not

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Um....heck yeah it's normal. I make dh take the kids AWAY once every few weeks and leave me ALONE for a couple hours... lol

MoonMama replied: Its normal hun. I know its hard at times. DH goes away on business or trips with the guys a few times a year. And if he is thinking about not going, well lets just say I make him go. Because I need my me time too (not that I know what that is anymore ). We all need a little me time every now and then. I'm so sorry Dana I hope you can get some alone time soon!

Calimama replied: It's normal! Maybe you can go stay at an awesome hotel for the weekend?

Danalana replied: Richard doesn't go anywhere without me. He doesn't even hang out with other guys, which I don't think is healthy. I'm gonna try to get him a social life!

Danalana replied:
Yes! A little bird (Monica) mentioned that to me.
Actually, maybe I will go with the guys skiing, and then I will just spend time by myself while they are out on the slopes.

Calimama replied:
Smart bird.

luvmykids replied:
I speak from experience

Crystalina replied: My DH is gone a lot but when he comes home I pretty much kick him and the kids out so I can have *alone time* without the kids. DH isn't the problem for me.

MoonMama replied:
Just stay off those slopes!

Danalana replied: Oh don't worry...I don't participate in any sport where you can knock down trees with your face.

MoonMama replied:
Good idea.

mckayleesmom replied: We all want our own time...its natural...HOWEVER...I would cut him some slack this once...honestly I think he is wanting to stay close in case you go into labor.

sparkys2boys replied:
Same here, eneryone needs some alone down time .

Danalana replied:
Well, I might entertain that idea, too, if he had any idea that it could be that soon. After my appointment, I called and gave him the same update I gave you....he just said "yeah" and "ok" like he would have with any update. He just doesn't understand it.
I just wish he would venture to do something (anything!) without me. That's all.

A&A'smommy replied: I can imagine that is VERY VERY frustrating!!!! Maybe try to encourage him to go have guy time because you feel like he NEEDS to have guy time now before the baby gets here!!! I'm sorry I hope you get some MUCH needed alone time before kade gets here!!

mckayleesmom replied:
Well...my husband was the same way and he later admitted that he was no shalant(sp?) about everything because really he was completely freaked out and thought it could happen any second.

Danalana replied: LOL....you'd just have to know my husband. it would seriously take my water breaking or the baby crowning to make him understand. he has NO sense of urgency. I swear, the house could be on fire, and he would probably just be walking around. He's so laid-back, I often fear that he is going to slip into a coma.

mckayleesmom replied:

Danalana replied: Yeah, it's funny on one hand. On the other hand, I want to knock him in the head with a blunt object. He is why we still aren't in a different house, and I have been talking to him about this for months. I HATE it here, and I am going to have to bring my baby home here...all because he ignored me and waited til the last minute. GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

lovemy2 replied: You guys are active in your church right - are there other church activities he can get involved in like one nite a week or something to get him out and meeting more people or something?

I sometimes have the same problem with my DH - he has interests, goes to the gym, rides his 4 wheeler - but he his friends are dorks and either married with kids or 43 and still living home - serious opposite extremes....so he rarely has someone to do something with...its kinda all or nothing - go away for a whole weekend to ride the 4 wheeler or just an hour at the gym....

Danalana replied: Yeah, we are involved...and this IS a church trip. The problem is that guys are much less apt to plan to get together than girls are. I don't know, maybe they think it's sissy or something. I, personally, think it's normal to want to hang out with peers. I'm sure I will get over all of this, but I am disappointed.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm this way, but not all the time. DH works a lot and he gets home late, so I definitely want to be with him when he gets home. But on the weekends, I sortof miss my alone time, which I guess isn't really alone alone, since I'm with the kids, but I'm talking about having the house to myself. DH can be quite messy, plus he likes to get on the computer or the Wii on the weekends, which drives me nuts sometimes. So getting out to the gym Saturday mornings ALONE always helps me get through the rest of the weekend with him! I look forward to GNO as well, which doesn't happen as much as I would like.

My2Beauties replied: My DH works plenty of shifts on 3rd shift so I get alone time, but I hate it to be quite honest. I'm the opposite of you, I crave being with people. I hate being alone, unless it's for a few hours and I can sleep or watch some uninterrupted television, but if it's longer than that I get bored to tears. I grew up an only child and was alone all the time so maybe that's why I am the way I am. Unless I am going out with my friends DH doesn't go out with his friends. I think it's important for us to go out seperately but he doesn't go if I'm not going...get my drift No play unless I get to play too I will never change, my poor DH! Oh and weekend getaways with his buddies....HA he can forget that crap!

Danalana replied: I was an only child too, and that's why I think I treasure time alone. It's not like I want him to be gone for days at a time...but if he is here, it's like he has to be right under me all the time (NOT literally ). I actually love being with people, but there are times when I just want down time....time to collect my thoughts, read, watch a girly movie, etc...

My3LilMonkeys replied: My Dh works the evening shift so we only see each other on weekends....some people will think I'm crazy, but I LOVE it. I like having a lot of time to myself, or to spend with the girls alone.

luvmykids replied:
Me too, I've always assumed thats why I like my alone time so much

Brias3 replied: I totally agree with you on wanting alone time. I have a situation similar to Monica's- since my husband's job has always required so much travel, I've really gotten into the swing of not having him around all the time. It gets to the point where I SO crave time alone, and with being married AND having three kids, that's just not feasible sometimes I find myself getting frustrated when he's home for a long period of time at once because I'm so used to the routine of having nights to myself (once the kids are in bed), etc.

I totally go through spurts of it though. Like right now for example, I am going nuts because he's NOT home and I'm in the "I miss him" funk but guaranteed by Tuesday night (he comes home Sat. morning) I'll be wishing for some time by myself, cause its so routine for me

Danalana replied: I'm trying to kick him out right now. he told me the other night that he would try to find something to do tonight, and I told him I would hold him to it. He can go to his brother's house...he went on the trip and his wife and son are going with a friend to a game and then spending the night at her house...
The thing that makes me mad is he is acting offended...how can he not understand that it's just important to me?