Alcoholic.... - what do you think?

CAMSMOM1 wrote: I have a good friend who drinks everynight. She started doing this about 4 months ago. She'll drink maybe 3 or 4 beers a night. She never gets drunk, she just likes to have a few before bed. (btw...she's kind of overweight, so she can handle 3-4 beers without getting drunk. And since she's been drinking like this for awhile, it doesn't really do anything, it's more of a habit I think and something she does to relax)

Do you think by having some beers every night makes her an alcoholic? She doesn't drink or drive. She drinks at home.

I was talking to her about this tonight, and I was just wondering what you all thought about it.

kit_kats_mom replied: Is it a sleep thing for her? My DH has a terrible time falling asleep and he will go through periods where he will drink like that before bed to help himself sleep. He's finally quit since I started getting nervous about i.

PrairieMom replied: Both my parents did this for as long as I can remember. I would consider them high functioning alcoholics. They drink beeer like its soda. THey will both go through 5 or 6 a night. I've only seem them actually drunk a few times. Well, now that I think of it, maybe they are drunk a lot, but I only recognize it some times.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I think that one of the signs of having a problem with alcohol is drinking alone.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Weeelll.... it's hard to say. It could be, like someone said - that she is a high-functionning alcoholic.

My dad can, and does, drink anywhere from 8 to 14 beers a day. He's never drunk. But he's a whole different person when he's NOT drinking - he gets agitated, angry over nothing, swears more than usual, jerky movements... he's almost "normal" when he drinks.

Alcoholism can start out with just one drink a day, nevermind 3 or 4.

MamaJAM replied: If she's drinking alone and/or can't go a night without drinking that many beers -- then I'd say she's well along on the road to addiction (if not 'there' already). If you are very close to her - bring the topic up and see if she might be willing to try cutting back then skipping a night here-and-there...if either of those things are too hard for her - she should look for some help. JMO

CosmetologyMommy replied: you said she hasn't been doing it that long. What do u think made he start?

coasterqueen replied: High-functioning alcoholic would be a good word, I guess. That is what I consider my husband. He drinks Jack and Coke every night (almost) and anymore I honestly don't know how many he drinks because I quit paying attention. He doesn't get drunk and he can function just fine if he had to take care of the kids, but he doesn't because he doesn't drink until they go to bed at night.

Drives me absolutely batty that he does this. He says he needs it to relax. Whatever.

But I watched my grandfather and DH's grandfather, both alcoholics. My grandfather was the alcoholic we all think of and DH's grandfather was the high-functioning one. DH's dad is an alcoholic in my eyes as well, but he's more of a drunk alcoholic when he does drink. He just never knows when to stop, not that he drinks every night. I will leave my husband before I ever let him get that way. He's always been the way he is now, just when we didn't have kids I drank that way with him too. Well I didn't drink EVERY night, but quite often. I just knew when to grow up, he didn't.

smoochies2u replied: I also have a friend like that, and at first before i really got to know her it kind of scared me, but hanging out with her and seeing her actually do it, i would classify it definetly as alcoholism. she cannot go without it, like we all drink water, she drinks beer. the major concern i have is how these people interact with their kids and what would happen in an emergency situation, and with her, she doesnt ignore her child at all, and i know she would handle an emergency, its just how well... the hardest part is what to say or how to help these people.

jcc64 replied: I'd say the reasons one drinks are more important than how much she drinks.
And if she's capable of stopping on demand.

CAMSMOM1 replied:

That's exactly her problem. She has a hard time falling asleep. She's had problems with insomnia in the past, and that's how this started. Just to relax. She will drink with her boyfriend at night, when her children are asleep. She doesn't drink in front of her kids, and it's "her time" when the kids are asleep.

That's a good definition "high-functioning" alcoholic. You can't really tell a difference in her behavior, and she never drinks to get drunk, and is hardly ever drunk. I asked her if she could take a break one night if she needed to, and she said yes, she has done that. And if she goes out with her friends, she doesn't drink...because she doesn't believe in drinking and driving. Which is good. And she never drinks during the day, only when her kids are asleep, and she's at home, and doesn't have to drive.

holley79 replied: Dh use to have 3 or 4 every night before bed. He would workout right after work then have beer 30. He has cut back though because I started griping about the eating late. now it's only a couple nights a week. Usually when all our shows are on TV. He does have his rum/ 7 up on the weekends though. The only concern that I have it that both of his parents are major alcoholics and it being hereditary. He doesn't get drunk and he doesn't drive. If it gets out of hand then I will defiantly let him know about it.

Crystalina replied:
My concern with her would be can and will she still be able to function if there were an emergency? I know when my DH drinks beer before bed there is nothing that will wake him. If there were an emergency such as a fire is there another adult in the house or is she it? I would be afraid of her sleeping through something like that and having a tragic ending.

Of course I'm no pro but I would think that anyone who HAS to drink in the evening has a problem with alcohol, even if it's a slight problem.

I can't drink anymore. I guit when I got pregnant and if I even sip a drink now I get a terrible migraine.

1lilpeanut2love replied: You can drink everyday and still not be considered an alcoholic. Some people like to drink and I am definitely not one of them!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I don't know, defining alcoholism can be tricky. I think Jeanne said it best. It's not so much how many drinks she has, or whether or not she can function that tells you whether she's an alcoholic. I think it's finding out the real reason as to WHY she drinks, IMO. Has she talked to a doctor about her insomnia? Since she's overweight like you said, maybe you and her can plan on working out together or going for a walk in the evening...could be a way to get her away from drinking and workouts always help me sleep better, kwim?

jacobsmama replied: Well my husbands family alot of his aunts and uncles do this but alot of times they drink to get drunk to forget things.

I think if she can go without the alcohol without withdrawl then she isn't and it is just habit.

But if she must have it regardless then I would say yes like the other High functioning alcoholic.

Just be there for her Ann