Agree with me or my friends?

mummy2girls wrote: about thsi whole crappy aron situation im dealt with again! ( never gives up). my friends told me to just make him take her that night because he planned to and i had made plans that i cant get out of and im not able to briong jenna. But i say no because if i force him to take jenna he will be so miserable so that means jenna will be upset and miserable as well...

maby i should just cut my losses and just tell him he cant have her overnight and that i change my mind!

Kaitlin'smom replied: does she know she was to spend the night with him??

mummy2girls replied:
yes thats the sad thing about this all!

Kaitlin'smom replied: why cant he all the suddon take her as planed? I would ask him if he enjoys disappointing his daughter. If he wont take her then HE should tell her, but knowing him that wont happen so yes if it were me I would just keep her and figure something fun to do and hope she does not question why she cant spend the night with daddy and if she did I would say why dont you call him and ask. Sorry I would proably be very mean to him while being maybe a bit extra sweet to her.

stella6979 replied: Personally, I wouldn't send her over there if he's doesn't want her there. I think kids can definately sense things and she doesn't need to be surrounded by all that negativity....and you're right, she'll be miserable.

luvmykids replied: Since she already knew about the plan I'd tell him that she will be really disappointed and that you've made plans and aren't changing them and that he needs to just grow up and keep his word.

CantWait replied: Well there's no way you can MAKE him take her. Short of leaving her in front of his doorstep and running

Or if he's got her overnight already then if you're not there when he drops her off, then he's got no choice but to keep her.

Seriously I think it's time to go to family court and have it officially put in writting. I know you don't want to make it messy and you want to be nice, but if you're going to start any life with Marcus, sooner or later he's also going to be suffering from not being able to make plans with you.

Sorry Shelly

mummy2girls replied:
Because that means he has to get up at 700am (when jen wakes up every morning) instead of 1030 am when his family arrives for present opening. he said he cant get up that early! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I talked to Marcus and he said not get upset and that he would love for jenna to be there on the 23rd. Marcus said that he will help with jenna as much as he can and will even put her to bed for me and do most of the stuff so i can have that night off still. That is very sweet of him but its not his job to do that.. i swear Marcus is more of a dad than aron!!!!!

lisar replied:
Thats what I was thinking. Sorry you are having to deal with this. I wouldnt send her to Aron.

grapfruit replied: I don't understand how people can INTENTIALLY hurt their kids like that. It hurts my heart that he doesn't want her overnight just b/c he doesn't want to get up early.

You're lucky you hooked Marcus. That one's a keeper

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I'm sorry Shelly - I really am - and I'm sorry if this offends you, but you've got to give him a swift kick in the rump. Jenna is FOUR YEARS OLD< for crying out loud, and Marcus already seems to be a better dad than Aron is. As far as I'm concerned, for what Aron seems to be worth, you should have him sign a form to waive his parental rights and cut him out of your lives completely. That way, he's not bugging you every time he has 20 minutes to drop by you8r house and see his daughter.

I'm sorry, but like someone else said, if you want any hope of having a life with someone, be it Marcus or anyone, you have to learn that yes, Jenna may be miserable for a little while, but in the long run, not only does she suffer, but you will, as your honey will. Yes, she's cute... but come on, let's be honest, everyone wants some time away from their child once in a while. Especially to be with someone special. You know?

Aron needs to smarten up. Not only does he have a 4 year old daughter that he shrugs off at every chance because he's too much of a lazy selfish donkey to be bothered with her, but now he is having a baby boy as well? I really feel sorry for that poor woman. You need to whip him into shape Shel... for everyone's sake. Jen's, yours, this new baby that's going to be ignored by his father as well...

So I hav eto agree with your friends. Drop her off at his place as planned, end of story. Have a great night with your honey and his family, you sure as heck deserve it. Childless for the evening.



Stay strong... he's a butt... and you've been too nice all these years already. Don't let him walk all over you anymore... don't be co-dependant on his abuse anymore, ok?

sparkys2boys replied:
then I would make him take her or at least he should be the one to tell her as to why she can't go with him anymore

Calimama replied: What a crappy excuse he's using.

Kaitlin'smom replied: what a LAME excuse. As much as I would love to drop her on him, I could not for the sake of my child. Personally this would be the last straw and I would not be very copertiave when he feels the whim to see her again.

skinkybaby replied: I agree with whoever said you need to take him to family court. You're not doing anyone- least of all you and Jenna- any favors by catering to his every whim. All thats going to do is hurt Jenna more in the long run.

mummy2girls replied:
no you didnt offend me! I know i have been way to nice to him all these years i guess for jenna i wanted ti to be easy on her no matter how crappy it would be for me. But new rules surfaced ever since Marcus entered my life. Aron cant just stop by top see jenna. If he wants to see her he is to take her. Last night he came but he didnt stay he just dropped the gift of , and he left...after i asked him about Jenna. Marcus comes first. I am still going to spend the evening with marcus and his family jenna will just be with me. But i am calling Aron tonight and im telling him that he needs to tell jenna face to face no you cant stay with daddy! Im tired of being the bad guy! he can be for once! Im goign to drop her off on the 23rd and if he says no shelly then he is to look at her and say that to jenna. because i want jenna to know im not the bad guy but that her dad is a butt!

luvbug00 replied: Shelly, I don't know how the rules go where you live. but here I had to go legal with brad becuse without it I or lars wouldn't be safe. I tried to be nice for 7 years. unfortunately there comes a time where nice no longer works. Aaron needs to take responciblity or get out of her life because all the dissapoinments he's handing her are going to devistate Jenna. I say try to get him to see what he is doing to his child and if he still wants to be a stinker then bring her with you. And DO NOT accomidate him in any way anymore. he doesn't deserve it.

holley79 replied: Looks like everyone has told you what there is to tell. I wish you the best sweetie and quit being so nice.

I don't know my SD but the man my mom married is my dad. Any male can be a father but it takes a real man to be a dad.

luvmykids replied:
Same here, my stepdad is the man I truly consider my dad. I've called him dad since I was about 5. I know it's hard....I know you hang in there wanting to make things easy for Aron hoping that if he decides to come around you've left the door open for him but after a certain point....it's no favor to you or Jenna.

Taking him to court may or may not be the answer, it would really only guarantee him the opportunity to see her, not force him to. They won't go after him for ditching her on "his" weekends, etc.

I agree that you need to lay it out for him, he needs to step up and be responsible or get out of the picture. In all honesty I was very upset with my mom when she made a choice like that for me but looking back there is no way my biological dad could have been half the father my step dad was but if she'd let him remain in the picture my stepdad wouldn't have had the chance to be the father I needed.

I'm not saying to cut all ties with him but he needs a wake up call and if he doesn't take it seriously then I think he's made his bed.