1 week old sent away by parents - parenting and bonding

appyanna wrote: My nephew and his girlfriend sent their 7 day old baby girl away for the weekend with the grandmother. The grandmother wanted to take her on a 2 hour trip out of town to see the gardens. They said they wanted to catch up on their sleep and spend some time with their friends. The new mother is also not feeling well because of some side effects of the epidural.

I don't feel this is normal or healthy behavior, am I wrong?

amynicole21 replied: Eek! I couldn't have done it.

ediep replied: I couldn't have done that, but I did have my mom, sis, or mil come over some saturday nights and they woke up to feed Jason so DH and I could sleep. I didn't BF, so that was possible, although I realize that if the mom is BF, that wouldn't really work

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: I can't say I would have trusted anyones abilities when Katy was only 1 week but I don;t think a couple hours away is really that bad. Katy started spending the night at my parents house atleast but usually one night a week when she was 8 weeks old. I was desperate for a break and sleep so I would put her to bed at my parents then go home and come back after dh got home (he was on night shift) and went to sleep. I was typically gone from 6:30 at night until about 8:00 the next morning.

MomToMany replied: In a baby THAT young, I think it's wrong! A WHOLE weekend away?? Obviously she's not nursing. The baby is still getting used to life outside of the uterus, not to mention her immune system isn't prepared for the onslaught of germs that's bound to happen. The parents sound pretty selfish to me! They would rather spend time out with their friends than taking care of their brand-new baby??

NO WAY could I have done that!

A&A'smommy replied: yeah I wouldn't have done it either!!

JAYMESMOM replied: I wouldn't have done it. Jayme was 3 months before I left her over night. I didn't care how little sleep I got when Jayme was a baby. Jim was home for a week and when he was we slept in shifts. I nursed so I often got woken up. After he went back to work I slept when she slept sometimes my dad or sisters or mom would come and help out but usually with house stuff.

Jaime replied: Wow i wouldnt have been able to do that, my son is going to be 2 weeks this sunday and there is no way i could see being without him or letting anyone take him for that matter i know its hard with the whole sleep situation but that comes with having a baby, doesnt seem right to me.

dolfinrse replied: Zack is 2 years old and we still have not left him overnight with anyone. I wouldn't have been able to do it.

luvbug00 replied: WOW No way!! That is cridical bonding time that sweet little girl is missing out on. I find that very irrisponcible. I hope they realize that was wrong. They'll regret it later I'd put money on that.

huggybugboy replied: I wouldnt have done it but maybe if the mom is battling some postpartum depression, its better for both. I dont know...

3_call_me_mama replied:
Ditto

Cameron will be 3 soon and has yet to have a sleepover without either of us. My MIL stayed with him at our house 1 night when Kathleen was born (DH stayed in teh hospital with me) other than that he's never been away from us at night. And I still don't feel he is ready.

sunshine girls replied: I wouldn't have done that, I love the first few weeks, I always feel like thats the best bonding time when you and your baby really get close. Plus it's like the first few weeks of their life, I'd never want to miss anything...I get excited when they make new noises I'd freak out that I'd miss something really cute..
Elle has been on a few sleepovers and her grandparents, Gwen's been on one a few months ago. I had to go get her at 2am because she was crying, she missed me. It was so cute (not that she cried that was sad) but when I walked in to get her she gave me such big hugs and kisses . Secretly I was so happy that she missed me, I hope that you get what I mean and dont think Im weird..

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Eeep...might get blasted for this - but at this point, I'd be willing to send both my kids to grandmas for a week or two. Again.

Sorry - just me - but then again, I'm almost due with my 3rd baby.

I wouldn't have sent the baby so early though - however if the baby is anything like Zach was and is sleeping it's nights already, or waking up for one bottle, I may have done the same thing if I wasn't getting enough rest to be able to take care of the baby properly - but I woulnd't send it away to be with some FRIENDS.

THAT is just irresponsible.

But as working mom of 2 kids who were b-fed until about 3 months with formula supplements, and formula fed after that - when my in-laws offered to take the kids overnight - I let them. A break is nice - lets the kids bond with the grandparents.
Our kids aren't scarred for it - and they never had separation issues, even around the time where it typically hits.

Just my opinion!

larchmontdi replied: Personally, I could never have left my son at that age. My parents spent the night with me after I came home from the hospital and I went to their house for a few weekends early on...but I was always in the other room not out with friends. I would not have been comfortable being any farther away.

But having my son has taught me to look at things from differing perspectives. I think, overall, if they are otherwise good parents this one action won't be a problem. I guess it's better than parents who don't realize their breaking point and end up harming the kid in the long run.

It's more important to see how they handle the baby over the long haul. Perhaps you can talk to the parents to see if they are selfish and self absorbed or were they just inexperienced and in over their heads at first? I would have lost my mind without my parents but maybe this couple doesn't have that kind of guidance. Maybe they could hire a mother's helper or a baby nurse to get a routine going and instill some confidence in the couple?