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wwyd - advice please


TANNER'S MOM wrote: Okay, you have a 10 year old son and you need after school care for 45 minutes, a 2-3 days a week.

These are your options. You can pay an after school day care provider 50 a week for this. They charge that no matter how many days they attend. It's their basic fee.

Or, you can trust him to stay home alone for 45 minutes. He is responsible. Has a cell phone, and their is a neighbor that is a Grandma of one of his classmates right next door.

This is only for 2-3 days a week. No more. And never for an hour?

Advice please.

Kentuckychick replied: Honestly, I would pay the $50, or try to find a local high school or college student who wouldn't mind staying with him for about $20 a week. In my opinion 10 is just too young to be trusted to stay alone.

Edited to add: Not trusted that he wouldn't do something he shouldn't do, but trusted that if something were to go wrong he could react in a calm and rational manner that would keep him safe.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I was staying home by myself at age 10.....

I was babysitting at age 10. You're in the country, Tanner's a good boy....

I see nothing wrong with it. It's not everyday and it's not for a long period of time.

danahas4monkeys replied: I agree with Aimee as long as all the basis are covered and ground rules are laid then he's big enough. Its not like you are leaving him home alone all weekend to hit Vegas or something! wink.gif

mckayleesmom replied: I was allowed to stay home after school for 1 hour before my mom got home starting in 4th grade...But there were rules

1. I was to come straight home
2. I was to lock the door when I came inside
3. No going out, no friends allowed inside
4. I was to do my chores and work on my homework and nothing else.


My brother was 4 years older then me and he was home too...but he wasn't really in charge of me.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: hard to say Mel, I don't know your son's maturity level. But it seems to me that if you're considering it, he's gotta be pretty mature. Daycare fees can be such a PITA.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
thumb.gif Ditto what she said.

ETA: That's actually not an uncommon practice in our neighborhood at all. I can think of 3 families off the bat who already let their kids stay home briefly (under an hour) after school in 4th and 5th grade. It all comes down to maturity and sensibility of the child but from what I've read about Tanner, he'd be a good risk.

PrairieMom replied: What grade is that? I was home alone before 5th grade, all day, 8 hours, with my sister who is 4 years younger than me.
If you think that he is mature enough to handle it, and there is an adult he can call if he needs to than I would say its probably ok.

Is there a friend he can stay with on those days?

moped replied:
Same here - I think - LOL

I think I would see how it goes. What does Randy think?

luvmykids replied: I think it's fine as long as you have ground rules and trust him to follow them. No messing with the horses, four wheelers, etc....not because he doesn't know what he's doing but just in case something happened and nobody knew about it, kwim?

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well we have done it for 2 days, and it has went fine. Randy is off the rest of the week. Like I said with DH's schedule it's only a few days a week. He has done fine. He knows he is not allowed out of the house, no answering the house phone, only his cell phone, and I have called the house to make sure he doesn't answer, And I have that rule b/c some weirdo's call the house and say weird stuff. We are the only ones with his cell number. Dh is home when he gets off the bus, and has him settled in with a snack and started on homework before he leaves. He knows to never answer the door and it must be locked with a chain. I am honestly surprised at how well it's going. We have lots of rules, no cooking, no making tea etc.

I just am worried as a mother. You know. I don't want to be a bad Mom. I remember staying alone for short periods of time and I was fine.

I guess we will see how it goes. He feels like we have given him a great responsibility he can lose if he doesn't follow the rules.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I would look for a college student or high school student to come over for an hour or two. Maybe they could even start dinner for you! Don't you love the way I think? wink.gif I know you can go to college job postings boards and find people that only want a few hours per week. Cheap too. I don't know how far you are from town, so I'm not sure if that would work, but what about some of the high school friends?

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Oh well then....that's perfect, Mel! thumb.gif

redchief replied: Since DH is home when he gets there and can make sure all is well before he leaves, I think Tanner is responsible enough to handle this. Worried mom that you are I think even though he's at home by himself for under an hour, you're making sure everything is OK.

mckayleesmom replied: Hey mel.....Do you have a recreation center in your town? Or a boys and girls club? They might have an after school program there....I know we do here....They take the kids for I think 2 or 3 hours and help them with their homework and then take them to the park next door till their parents pick them up.

gr33n3y3z replied: He is old enough to be home alone especially with all those ppl. around in your neighborhood and with his G'ma there too wouldnt think twice about it.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: That sounds just fine Mel. From what I've read about Tanner, he's a good, responsible boy, and he could handle 45 minutes alone a few times a week.

If Randy makes him a snack & gets him started on homework or whatever, he should be fine. He wouldn't be tempted to try to make something to eat himself, and would get his work done. I have let my older 2 boys stay home alone (14 & 12 now) when they were that age for a couple hours. They know the rules, and how to contact us, plus FIL is right across the road.

MommyToAshley replied: Glad to hear the first few days went well -- I knew Tanner would have no problem with it.

When I was 11 years old, I rode the bus to a different home after school and babysat TWO kids for three hours until their parents got off work. I did a great job if I do say so myself. However, now that I am a Mom... there is no way I would let Ashley do that... isn't it funny how we become the worriers when we are the parent. However, if she were just staying by herself for a few minutes until I got home, that would be different and I may let her depending on the situation and her maturity.

Tanner sounds responsible, Randy makes sure he is set before he leaves... it sounds fine to me. But, if you are worried, could you have the other kids grandmother look in on him or have him go there instead?

coasterqueen replied: I can't remember at what age I was staying home by myself, a bit later than that but when I was I was watching my sister 5.5 years younger than me, so not much different.

Since Randy is getting him off the bus, etc I see no problem with it. I know for sure I was staying at home by myself and watching my sister when I was in 6th grade. We even had to get off the bus ourselves. Mom would make us start dinner, etc. Not sure I'd let my kids do that now, but then it seemed alright. tongue.gif

Just keep in contact with him. Give him rules to follow and make sure he understands how important it is not to break them - they are for his safety.

I'm glad it's going well. thumb.gif

I'm not sure what I'll do when Kylie gets that age. We'll see. Luckily I have a LOT of family that lives all around us if I ever do decide that.

Kaitlin'smom replied: We will always worry about them not matter how old they are.

From everything you have told us I think what you have going now is fine.

hug.gif

msoulz replied: I sure wouldn't leave MY son home alone but it sounds like yours is more mature - as long as he follows the rules it sounds like all is well!

TheOaf66 replied: it depends on the kid Mel, if you think he can handle it then I say go for it, it would give him a little responsibility etc. Just talk to him and tell him not to cook anything or do anything that would break your trust and I am sure he would be fine. thumb.gif

:.Mrs_Mommy.: replied: I was babysitting my little sisters all day long at about 8 yrs old. I would think a 10 yr old should be able to stay home alone for a few minutes. I suppose it does depend on the child though.

If you were going to do it make sure there are rules in place to make it more likely for success.


Good Luck!!

My2Beauties replied: I was a latchkey kid myself from the time I was 8 years old and I was home alone for close to 2 hours every day. I think Tanner will be fine. I think he is responsible and mature enough as was I, it just depends on the child.


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