would you? - job question

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: A question for those of you who like your parents ...Would you take a new job in another state, NOT a lateral position, possibly even down two positions, same company, but less pay of course, just to be closer to your folks?

Sorry, I know there was a lot to that question...

coasterqueen replied: Yes, but not because I like or dislike them, but so my kids could be closer to them. It's very very important for me that my kids are close to their grandparents (eta meaning that they see them all the time).

HuskerMom replied:
I agree, when I was little I only got to see my grandparents maybe once or twice a year and that just sucked. So now I'm not as close to them as I'd like. I like having my parents and inlaws in town cuz they babysit also

Kaitlin'smom replied: yes as long we could afford our bills with the move.

lesliesmom replied: DH and I have considered moving out of state but the only reason we won't is because of my parents. We want the kids close to them and to have a relationship with them. Something DH lost at a young age with his grandparents when his parents moved out of state. We could probably make more money in other markets but chose to stay where we are for that fact. DH's mom is not part of that equation because we are the only family she has and she would basically go where ever we were. She actually moved to a house about 2 blocks from where we are (from about 2 miles away) just to be closer so we know if we ever decided to go anywhere she'd be on our heels.

hoosier momma replied: Absolutely. I could not imagine our parents not being a huge part of my son's life. He sees them all at least once a week.

coasterqueen replied:
Same here - Dh could make a TON more money if we moved out of this area, but that would mean being away from parents and that would just be too much for all of us to handle. The girls see their grandparents several times a month, if not every weekend.

lisar replied: If it was my Mom I would. I have a very close family as is though and we all live right here on the same side of town just a few miles between us, so we are all here now. But I would to be close to my family.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Yes, that is why we haven't moved away from my parents. I know in another state jobs may be more plentiful for both of us, but I value being close to my parents too much. I remember the close bond I had with my grandparents and I want my boys to have the same bond with theirs. Even though Troy's parents live 3 hours away, they will see them often enough to form a bond as well, which Tanner already has.

ediep replied: I would hate being far from my parents. we see them several times a week... I don't think I'd move out of state

Cece00 replied: Probably so, considering the reason we DONT move to another city or state is b/c I want to be by my parents. DH could probably get much better jobs & more pay if we did, but that would suck for all of us b/c we wouldnt be around family & friends.

Calimama replied: No. I love my parents, but I love them more at a distance.

DansMom replied: No. I'd love to be closer to my mom---Daniel keeps saying he wants to move to Maine to be nearer grammy Linda. But there are no comparable jobs there for me, and I'm the breadwinner, my health benefits are awesome---I'd be giving up too much. My mom is more likely to be the one to move here at some point---she talks about it.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
See this is where we're at. Both of us feel we would be giving up too much to leave Colorado. I agree with everyone that it is VERY important for our kids to know their grandparents, but there are other important factors involved for us as well. Number one is me being able to stay home with the kids. We can afford to do that here. I hope that doesn't sound selfish to some, because it really has nothing to do with having more money or anything like that. But for our family, it's important that I stay home with the kids until they're older. That to me is a benefit just like seeing grandparents all the time is a benefit. So it really puts me on the fence.

Yes, the question was asked based on my life of course. DH's boss was out in CA last weekend and spoke with someone in the Ventura office (45 minutes from where my parents and DH's parents live). His boss mentioned to the guy that DH hopes to move back someday and the guy said he wants to talk to DH. EXCITING, until DH's boss said "don't get your hopes up, it wouldn't be a lateral move". So really, in order for me to stay home and for us to afford a home there, DH would need to go up not down positions. Plus, we have better schools here! I also wonder, what if DH hates the new position. I don't want him miserable, he loves his job now. It's all a very scary decsion to make!

Anyhow, DH is going to submit his resume and just see what happens. I would be thrilled to be closer to family, and the BEACH, but it would be a VERY tough decision. There are many pros and cons on both sides.

Thanks for the answers!

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: Absoultely not....that would be moving away from me

Honestly yes. If we could afford the pay cut I would do it. If there was any way we could afford to buy a house near his parent (and my parents most of the time) he would go in one second (so the rest of us would obviously go too)

Jamison'smama replied: This hits close to home for us also. We have lived 13 hours (driving) from my parents and further from his for all of our marriage. We are doing everything we can to move closer. It really came clear to us when we lost his mother a couple of years ago. My kids adore my parents and I am very tired of being so far from them. DH finally took a job where we can move closer and we can't get rid of this stinkin' house. So yes, I would do everything I could to be near those who love my kids in a way only their grandparents can.

I could also use the support of family.

paradisemommy replied: i guess i'm in the minority w/denise..i love my parents dearly but love them even more with distance between us

luvmykids replied: If it meant I couldn't stay home I'm not sure what I would do....ITA with everyone else when it comes to the kids being able to have a relationship with the grandparents on a regular basis but if I had to choose between that and what I feel I'm doing for them by being at home (mostly), I really don't know.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh my goodness. No way, no how, never, ever would I move back there. Not only do they have a horrible public school system AND bad private schools to boot, they have NO job opportunities there. We call it the biggest littlest town. It's the armpit of the world. It's not really a small town, but it's got that small town atmosphere. Everyone knows everyone and their business. And everyone is rude b/c they are so miserable. In order to get a good job you have to be related to someone who owns the business and just wait until they die to take over. And Scotty's family did own a car dealership there, but they didn't contact him to buy it when his cousin died and they were looking to sell it.
Anyway.....
My parents wouldn't want me back there. Sure, they loved it when I lived right around the corner from them, but they know Scotty and I are much better off here. We are only 2 hours from them and my kids are extremely attached to my parents.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
That's how DH's parents are. They know we're better off here. Where my parents totally know it too (because my dad once said, "your mom and I don't worry about you guys, you're doing great") but I think they get sad that they miss birthdays and time with the boys. DH's parents have a lot of money, are both pretty much retired, so they can fly out whenever they want, but my parents can't. So I think that's hard. Ideally, I want them to move HERE, but they would be leaving my sister and her three kids. Plus, they own their house there free and clear. And we just know that once they move here (for us), DH would get a transfer somewhere else. It's so tough....... I grew up in a very expensive part of CA, so without a lateral move for DH, it's just not really realistic, even if I worked too.

Sorry to keep going on about this...just a lot on my mind.

moped replied: I don't knowabout that - I would love to be close to my family but love where I live too much!!!!!!